Whether from arrogance or negligence, I yawn at their stance
Not a chance I’ll advance.

Science tends to disagree - research believes in therapy
As far as claiming it'd make me happy.

        'Have a 30-minute walk each day',  
She dares to say as I continue to pay.
        'You carry trauma from your childhood'
        'Navigate your thoughts and it’ll affect your mood'.

Sorry doctor, I’m lacking modesty -
I seem unable to take you seriously and seeing you hurts violently.
I could easily earn your degree.

Undoubtedly, people will say:
        'How can she expect to be okay?'
        'She's abusing of her sick leave pay'
        'In no way committed to her healing journey'.

To which I’ll roll my eyes at any day.

Fear teaches me, sort of aimlessly.

Blaming a resilience I wish I'd seen,
The punch I wish I’d been -
A prey I wished I'd hit.

Overshadowing the dopamine I’d like to feel.

Via guilt-induced tears, effortfully shield-building
Via timeless dampening -
I’m nervously standing, brainlessly censoring.

But never has anger crossed that brain,
Never have I ever played this game.

My attention span
Has become short, I can't stick
Myself to long verse

On a voyage
In the sea of knowledge.
Each and every page -
A new stoppage.

Many pages bound together
With a cover made of leather.
Pages as white as white feather,
All the information I gather.

A structured presentation
With graphical representation.
A sky of narration
And a table of notation.

Starting with table of contents
Then onset of concepts
Rich with facts and experiments
To every curious thought, I give vents.

From physics to chemistry
I resolve biological mystery.
From philosophy to history
A road to your intellectual mastery.

All about General Reginald Dyer
And explaining how do plants transpire
From magnetic field around a wire
To E=mc².

I’d like to find the words
to cut right through the muck,
but when it comes to you
you know that I’m just stuck,

I ready up the blades
and soap clean my hands,
to work toward the heart
no matter where it lands—

All the things—
We said—
Will forever be dead—

But I’ll hold on—
Instead—
You’ll always live inside my head.