'Mommy, why are you so sad?'
My daughter used to say.
She was always so sick and frail
And I watched her fade away.

Her weight in my arms
One day turned to dust.
Words of love and comfort,
Suddenly were not enough.

I turn my face and look away,
I hold my tears till they are gone
The pain helps me realize that
Falling in love makes me a pawn.

Every time you texted me after we went our separate ways
gave me hope.
That was very ****** up of you,
I still wait around and I don't know how to cope.

You absence and silence cut deep into my core.
Deeper than any knife, stronger than any lure.
Though you squeeze my heart
You'll always be the man I adore.

Your touch heats my skin,
Your kiss sets me on fire.
You take only what YOU need,
And leave me burning with desire.

I've been told to be patient and kind
But I'm only an object, aren't I?
So why do people care if I fall and break
And take lives in my wake?

You called again. And I hate myself.
This is how it always goes
Before the second ring
I'm already saying hello.

When I said I would take a bullet for you

I didn't think you would be pulling the trigger.

You're perfect,
        She said.

And I felt myself crumble
        Because I knew I was not so

You are perfect,
        She repeated.

Perfect for me,
        You are everything I could ever want.

And I felt myself
        Become whole again.

I remember when I was young
And my empty stomach would ache,
My grandma would dance with me
And all my troubles would go away.

We never had enough food,
Many times I saw her cry.
But if I asked if she was hungry
Often times she would lie.

"When you eat, it gives me strength"
Then her stomach would growl,
I didn't get it but didn't push
At six years old I didn't know how.

God never left our side,
So things started to improve.
At 70 she held a job as housekeeper
And so we fell into a groove.

I became her little helper
So she wouldn't mess up her knees.
I was just the right size
To fit most places with ease.

I feel like we grew old together
But it didn't last long,
I moved away with my mother
And grandma was left alone.

She did have the rest of our family
But they only care about themselves.
They take but rarely give,
Not caring about anyone else.

It's been years since I saw my grandma.
Nowadays I dance alone,
When I'm sad though, I give her a call
And suddenly I am home.

I was seven years old
When my dad broke my heart.
He said he would move away
But we would never be truly apart.

I waited, and waited...
Sometimes in the  intense heat, or snow
But only with age I learned
That my dad would never show.

One day I got tired of waiting
and stopped watching the road.
My heart hardened a bit though mom
Still thought it was made of gold.

I guess at this point was when
I started to lowkey hate men.
Never have one kept his word to me
Not josh, nor Caleb. Not Keith, nor Ben.

All my relationships fail,
I leave them before they leave me.
It hurts less you know?
When you know you hold the key.

So at 20 years this where I am at.
And this is why I write.
It takes the pain away you see,
Some, but not much.