Unknown

Jul 2014

Hollow

As they swirled above the clouds
Twisting in and out of existence
Heart fluttered, such as the wings of
Butterflies in my belly

The girl in the tree
Witnessed not what I did
As she called out my name
Voice of reason, guide me

Look, up here!

And the ladder I climbed to sanctuary
Was of oak and sap
Sticky with unknowing
And her hand touched mine
But her face was unseen

The dragons
Above, with jade scale and ivory claw
Swirled in the dance of
My eternal struggle
For knowledge

Enraptured
Captured, but not owned
Are these visions

The clouds darkened as my hand slipped
And I fell backwards
Seeing her dark hair
But her face was
Not there

And the wind picked up the new rain
Fresh, like the blood of dragons
In an epic twist of death
And poured it into my eyes

And though I slept soundly
Silence was always there

I am going to begin writing my dreams as poems. Perhaps this will give me a better understanding of how my mind travels through the winding streets of uncertainty.

#dreams #knowledge #wonder #eternity #dragons #jade

Unknown Jul 2014

You Kept Me Warm

You loved the day we met
You listened to my words
Smiled at my silly jokes
And held my hand in the dark

You picked me up
And carried me away from it all
You kept me warm
When the rain of my emotions
Gave your mind frostbite

And when it all went to hell
And all the hands I used to reach for
Recoiled in disgust
Yours was there
And you gripped me tightly to your heart

When I gave it all up
And replaced it all with self hatred
You watched as I ate myself
Folded inwards and withered
And you watered the roots of my hope

When I took steel
And pressed it to skin
You saw me fall
Bleeding regret
And you picked me up
And carried me away from it all

You brought me flowers to smell
So the white walls didn't seem as bad
And when I cried
You caught my tears and returned them to me
In a goblet of scarlet

You kept me warm
You picked me up
And carried me away from it all

Where have you gone?

#love #lonely #emotion #weight #carry

Unknown Jul 2014

Little Things Matter

Do you know what it's like?
To be imprisoned
In the past?

I am
Locked up in a cell
Of unforgiving memories
And mental stains I tried to hide
And blood underneath
My fingernails
And I just can't
Scrub it all away
I just want it all to end

This *******,
Nonexistent road of endless
Turmoil and boiling hatred
And emotional leakage
I am so
******* lately
And I just don't give a ****
About the things
I used to give a **** about

Have you ever just
Not cared
Awakened by hostility
And sedated with
"It'll be alright"
No, *******
It won't be alright, okay
Because it's not worth my time of day
To pretend
Like the little things don't matter
Because they do

They really do

More than you can imagine
--------
--------

#pain #hurt #hiding #suffering #weakness #things #little #sedation

Jul 2014

Poetic T

The Taker

It stalks us each day, wanting to consume
Wishing to take us, having
A hold,
A grip,
To take us to that place of
Fear,
Horror,
Sweats,
We may fight it, struggle
But it is like hunger,
We may fight it, but it will win every time.
For some it is
Happiness,
Release,
Relaxation,
It is that which takes us all
Like death, but temporary
It consumes half our life
This cousin of death,
Not eternal but called sleep.

Unknown Jul 2014

Jae

You are like
Something along the lines of
Hopeful sips of light
A drink to keep me up
All night, because the dark
Never minded company

Or maybe a line in a song
That goes
"I'll tell you one thing,
It's always better
When we're together"
Because the truths
Are in the music
Of love and life

A bolt of lightning
Across the rainy skies
Of this lonely state
A rebellious ember
Who sits, smoldering
With the heat of held hands
Even when the others have
Gone cold

A free spirit
Who strums out the chords of;
Can this be so?
And the question isn't yours
Because you already played;
Of course
And the smile that crosses my face
Is as genuine as
The words that follow

Just as a prince will battle
For his princess
In far off lands
Dulling his blade on bones
Of lust and envy
I will see you
And know that the most
Difficult valley to traverse
Is worth my time
If when I come to the end
You are there

Once again
I am brought to reality
With another smile
And throughout my head
Run the same words
Over and over and over
A beautiful song on repeat

*I love you

No matter what, no matter where, when...
I will always be here.

#love #life #beauty #smile #iloveyou #you #battles #obstacles #jay #jaela

Unknown Jul 2014

Unanswered

Why do you even stand
When you're with closed eyes and empty hands
Just lay down
Lay down

Where do you fall in line
With a heart of stone and a dead mind
Just turn around
Turn around

What is the price of love
When you feel so down and I'm above
Just let me go
Let me go

What are the words to say
When all my gifts you've thrown away
Just close your eyes
Close your eyes

Don't ask me not to leave
When your every smile is make believe
Just walk away
*I'm walking away

#love #lies #words #heart #questions #walking #leaving

Unknown Jul 2014

Answers

This is the end
Standing at the edge
But I don't want to lose it all
What if I survive the fall?

It's raining
God is gaining
On my heels
But is he even real?

It's hard to sit back
And let my mind wander
Somewhere
Relax and ponder

The light is never there
The light was never there

And I'm scared

Because
What if I was wrong
What if this was a lie all along
What if somewhere far away
There's a place for me
A place to stay?

Will I be judged by my decisions
Or by the way I'm currently living
Is this a game to sky above?
Who the **** am I supposed to love?

I can't breath in this prison of me
I don't believe in the things I can't see
Does that make me weak?
If I pray, will he speak?

I can't stay in this prison of me
If I believe will he set me free?
This is my final eulogy
If I die, what will I be?