Allyssa

Allyssa Jan 2019

While you stuff my throat with your words,
I still have you wrapped around my pinky.
For you are rendered under the power of my lips,
The slight touch of my tongue on your neck,
The will of every man held between my legs.
You shake,
You grab at me,
You moan my name and yet,
You think you have your power.
As I lay with you,
Your soul slips into perdition,
Your eyes beg for mercy,
My fingers trace down your abdomen and leave marks behind.
My pet tiger,
You have earned your stripes and in my keep, you stay.
You buckle under the pressure of my whimpers and whispers,
The scrunch of my face while you hold my body beneath yours,
Our foreheads pressed together in pleasure.
My love,
You cannot leave me.
For I have your own will used against you.

Lust was my power move and you fall for it every time.

#alone #him #*** #love #leave #power #driven #heartbroken

Allyssa Dec 2018

I Wish It Was Love First

These bed sheets were stained with my battered and bleeding heart,
My dress torn.
This bed of mine was my captor,
I, it’s prisoner.
I fell victim to the prying hands that kept wandering between my legs.
It wasn’t love that brought us here, no.
It was my quiet mouth,
My clothes that fell apart between your fingers like wet sand and the screams I supposedly only muttered.
My innocence had been ripped from me,
Like a piece had physically broken off.
My soul,
My happiness,
My trauma.
You stole from me and it was priceless.
I lost a many of things to me but my purity was my own.

I am expendable and I’ve come to accept it

#alone #broken #innocence #bed #sheets #empty

Allyssa Nov 2018

Novelist

I lay on my back and I opened up to you,
Like a book lying on its spine.
It’s pages spread apart,
You rubbed the coarse paper in between your fingers,
Sliding down the edges even though you knew you would get a paper cut.
You turned the pages ever so softly,
Careful as to not let a crease happen.
My soul danced around your fingers,
My body shook beneath the words you whispered to me,
I spilled my secrets like the jumbled words on white sheets of spilled ink.
I was your novel and I couldn’t be more happy to let you construct the sentences of our slow,
Unwinding,
600 page book.

Can I be the protagonist of your story?

#novel #book #love #slow #pages #ink #paper #words

Allyssa Nov 2018

We Thought it Was Love

Skin on skin,
Tracing each other’s bodies with gentle fingers,
Grabbing with needy hands,
Wanting each other a little less.
Emptying our souls,
Light being cast away,
Love wasn’t here.
No,
Love was an illuminating star.
Our definition of love was like the crumble of earth,
Letting it fall through the cracks of our fingers,
Dissipating.
Diminishing.
Delirious.
We didn’t make love,
No,
We made numbing promises within our bodies.
Our temple,
Our beloved temple,
We forgot the structure of which it sat upon and now,
Crumbling like the earth,
It collapsed.
It fell and it caved and it hurt.
It hurt like hell.
Our bodies continued to collide,
To touch,
To grind against one another,
But we did not complain.
Feeling physical was the only thing that kept us feeling at all.

*** wasn’t apart of the deal but I guess it is now.

#alone #bodies #earth #crumbling #temples #bargain

Allyssa Nov 2018

Snow

Our love was like snow.
It was gentle yet cold,
Pieces of the sky,
Pieces of us,
Drifted and fell.
Darling it’s cold out here,
In this winter bound heartbreak.
Kindled firewood,
Bundled up in blankets,
I tried everything to keep the frostbite out.
Slowly you crept back in,
Like frost in the night,
Covering every inch of my eternal sunshine.
My unhinged mind and my papier-mâché heart,
Folded in on one another with every dispute of my soul.
Snow ever falling,
Piling up in inches,
Measuring my heart diminishing.

Winter days

#winter #snow #mounds #empty #alone #books #love #heartbreak

Allyssa Oct 2018

Mossy Rocks

I could tell you that I tip toe across the cold wet stones,
Careful with every movement,
But I’m not.
I’m unsteady,
Unsteady as the current rushing beneath me against the slippery rocks.
I could tell you that I’m dainty,
Soft spoken and polite,
But I’m not.
I’m brazen,
I’m honest,
I’m emotional.
I’m clumsy and I don’t have good balance on the moss beneath me in the water.
I crack under pressure,
I’m an anxiety filled vessel.
I hate to be the rain on your sunny day,
But baby I’m sorry,
I’m nothing but the girl who fell into the rushing waters below.

River

#water #river #anxiety #moss #rocks #fall

Allyssa Oct 2018

What Do I Call You

Tell me about the hidden closet,
The skeleton key that danced gently upon your collarbone,
Fragile and cold against your pale skin.
Death,
I called you.
Elegantly tragic,
Your white horse with his dead eyes stared into the souls of which you kept.
All but mine.
I was the lock to your skeleton key,
Your unwinding and unapologetic soul dwindled in my hollow bones.
Tainted blood and warmth that imitated life itself,
You bringer of death.
Your key belonged to you but your soul belonged to me.

Use my words like a rope to hang me from these heinous crimes you continue to commit.

#crimes #death #white #horse #suffering #anxiety #alone