I'm not me.
I may be you.
Or her.
Or him.
Or them.
But I'm not me.
My chest aches with the feeling of wanting to be belonged.
My heart aches with the feeling of wanting to be loved the way that I love.
My head aches because I want to scream.
While my bones turn to jelly, and my thoughts turn to suicide.
Everynight is long.
Everyday is tiring.
I wish you'd understand that my brain aches for something I don't believe I have.
You may think, that I am insane. Or considering I'm technically you, I may think I am insane.
These personalities swarm me, and I've never known myself.
Someone may love your laugh because it's unique. The way your nose cringed because of a smell. The way your eyes sparkle when you see something exciting.
Those are traits that make you .. you.
I'm swarmed. You have something to call you're own.
I'm not me. You have something to grow off of.
I may be you. You have something that people will love.
Or her. You have something people will come back for.
Or him. You have something that won't run.
Or them. You have something that makes you unique.
But I'm not me. You have something that I want.

I once had
a beautiful voice
and you asked me
why I no longer sing.
I turned to you
and quietly replied
"because I was a bird,
and you clipped my wings."

He was a soldier
who did not carry
a weapon.
Yet she could feel
a thousand bullets
pierce through
her heart.

- n. ib

Your heart is a cage and not a home
In your company, I am truly alone.
I try to break free but you shatter my bones,
Won’t listen to pleas or the logic I form.
Foundation weak, bound to crumple on itself;
You take my body and turn it to dusty ruins,
Nothing left but rubble and disgusting sewage.
Inside my heart trembles from your gentle bruising,
Made from the ways you use me;
You love to love when it’s amusing.

Convince me that I did it so you’re not abusing;
You’re a gift that’s not worth losing.
I crawl into fault that belongs to only me.

I’ve never seen a prison that looked so comforting.
You’re a hungry wolf, though portrayed as a sheep.

-SLuR

i stand in the mirror for hours
wondering what it is about me that makes me so easy to replace
i stand over the sink and try to wash the words "use me" off my forehead
only to find out it was tattooed on to my skin
i run my fingers down my body and feel every single name of the boys that came after you carved on to me like a name on a grave stone
i place my hand on my heart but feel no beat

because see they talk about death as in the ones who leave forever, but they never talk about the ones that have died but are still walking this earth
they don't talk about the ones with fake smiles and laughs that are just illusions
illusions so you can't see that they are just completely empty inside
a walking grave

i stand in the mirror for hours
wondering what it is about me that makes me so easy to replace

but now i know- no one can love someone that's already dead