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Feb 19 · 57
Victoria Feb 19
my heart starts to stutter
shape shifting into shaky shards of nervousness
your words sing out to me softly and surely
soaking the side of paper i write ****** poetry on
influencing sonnets of pure sin
carefully sultry and swift
soon to be words of action
Feb 17 · 112
the beast
Victoria Feb 17
mush i feel like mush
disgusting mush
mush that’s been left out too long and you can’t refrigerate again
i feel revolting and disgusting
i’ve come to terms with the fact that i need to invent a sophisticated enough word to express the hatred i feel for the body that i’ve been cursed with
and you’ll say it’s the body you love infinitely
every stretch mark, hair, roll, and dimple
in my mind, i find you absolutely ludicrous
i doubt your words and ****** remarks
i think “you have horrible taste”
how could someone so perfect love someone so imperfect
in my heart, i know it to be true
that i am not as hideously tragic as i see myself
but the mind is so cruel  
insecurity is so tragic
today’s feelings
Feb 16 · 139
You and I
Victoria Feb 16
I crave an obvious love
Read my mind
Know me better than me

I crave an unrealistic love
Complete my sentences before I think them
Know my mood by the position of my hand

I crave the other half of me
Split down the middle
Staring back at me
Feb 16 · 56
Hard stuff
Victoria Feb 16
Love isn't always butterflies and snow cones
It can be bee stings and low groans
Sometimes difficulties swallow the ease of smiles
At its lowest, it can be worse than getting lost in grocery aisles
Triumphing through the days where my patience is tested
Are the days are simply worth rejoicing
Because love isn't always bee stings and low groans
It can be butterflies and snow cones
Feb 13 · 439
clock work
Victoria Feb 13
tick to tick to tock to tock
to reminisce to make it stop
to hide my face to never race
to the far away finish line

tock to tock to tick to tick
to make amends to make a fix
to hold a grudge to never budge
to let others take advantage

tick to tock to tick to tock
to have some fun to let things rock
to youthful glows to always grow
to always favor me
Feb 13 · 453
Victoria Feb 13
When the moon strolls across the sky
On the nights I can’t help but feel minute
She’s always there

Shining with the light the Sun has gifted her
Or completely camouflaged into the abyss
Not to be seen but felt

For several days she does what many of us wish to do
Disappear into nothingness
Even celestial bodies feel shame

The moon brings a sense of comfort nothing else can
A sense of familiarity
The all-seeing eye of a heavenly mother

She watches, understands, and attempts to reach me
Her light struggling to illuminate the darkest corner of a room
She’s lost the ability to talk eons ago

She has seduced the greatest of writers and enamored the saddest of humans
I look at her and can’t help but think that I owe her my life but

She lacks your tranquil crooked smile
Your soft amber eyes
The words that melt off your tongue like butter

Lips that shush demons away
You’ve outshone her
You’re the eclipse I’ve been waiting for
Feb 11 · 381
Victoria Feb 11
I miss you every second I’m away from you
My heart can’t help but fill up with envy
For the people who get to rejoice in your presence
Every second of every day
Passerbyers who get a second glance
Of your beautiful golden locks twirling around with every step you take

I start to envy inanimate objects
That serve your every need
Napkins that wipe your bottom lip from the stickiness of lipstick
Mirrors that reflect every one of your perfect stances
The water that hydrates and gives you life

I obsess over you maybe too much
Maybe I just have too much time to think
But even in my busiest moments
Your image replays in my mind again and again
You’re a flash flood that takes ownership of everything it touches
for my gf
Feb 11 · 85
black coffee
Victoria Feb 11
I never liked black coffee
No cream no sugar
Mami always gave me coffee with milk and two teaspoons of sweetener
In the morning for breakfast
In the afternoon with a snack
It was routine

We switched to tea not too long ago
Black, green, chamomile
Some cream some sugar
My parents drink it in the morning to wash down the tired
I drink it in the afternoon to wash down the tired

You told me you liked your coffee black
No cream no sugar
I can’t help but order that whenever I go to Dunkin
I kept trying to figure out how you made something so harsh so delicate
That’s the only way I drink my coffee now
No cream no sugar
for my gf
Feb 11 · 71
half and half
Victoria Feb 11
although i left, i think my cup is still half full and not half empty
half full because you complete me
full because i’ll see you again
not empty because i’m glad i got to experience you
although i miss your full ***** body on mine and the empty plastic cups on your bedside rack
i visited my gf of 3 years for the first time january 3rd to the 17th. coming back to reality was really hard but it inspired me to write a few poems might share the rest
Feb 11 · 143
Victoria Feb 11
Sometimes I sit down and think, “Is this all there is to life?”
Compartmentalize my feelings of sadness, joy, and excitement into boxes
Some of which stack higher than others and tumble down into subcategories
Times I was sad because of my period, because of school, because of ----

Other times I stand up and I don’t think, “I am completely satisfied with life.”
Because I am not
I look at cracked paint on walls and study the paths the minuscule crevices decided to take
So easily permanent and there

My head has established a tyranny of overthinking and anxiety that boxes with itself
Left, right, no left, up, maybe down, sideways, maybe
Too much to think and my brain can’t seem to understand there is still time to think
No decision has to be made about anything ever just yet not yet maybe

I understand time casts an infinite shadow
It forever runs out even though it’s nowhere near the finish line
It’s always running out
Always leaving me breathless
idk i wrote this cause im feeling anxious also procrastinating on my english homework

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