After ten years, she knocks on my door again.

I try to speak.
I want to say something,
anything,
but I cannot seem to find the words.
I didn't think I would,
or that I could,
feel this much.
All I can do is stare at this apparition of my childhood companion,
who now holds her own child in her arms.


With eyes wide and mouth agape, I finally manage to splutter out
"Welcome back."

and then I asked you,
"What's your biggest fear?"

you gave me a quivering sigh,
looked at me straight in the eyes
and said,

"It's that eventually, you will see me
the way I see myself."

As I glare into the sky,
Thousand lights shine down on me,
Thousand eyes to pierce my veil,
Thousand minds to know my tale.

I crave your eyes to look at me,
The eyes you placed on sun and moon,
To fear my deeds, to fear my hunt,
To **** all children you have shunned.

I want you, God, to watch me close,
Through wafts of mist, through wafts of blood,
To memorize the blade that cut
Through skins and organs of your loves.

Before you come, before you close
in on me the one who cursed
all of your sheep
all of their hope
i want to see your face once more
the mask you wear in minds of priests
shatter the lies show me the beast
you truly are.

i want you to KNEEL
come show me god the FEAR you feel
come show the god that LIED to us
the one who neglects war and LUST

WHERE ARE YOU TODAY
COME HERE AND PLAY

             with
                      ME

and TRY TO STOP ME
stop me!
or i will end this child that prays
to. a. false. god. WHO ONLY SWAYS
BUT DOES NOTHING BUT WATCH ME WAIL
IN PAIN AS I BREAK DOWN AND FAIL
i'll carve my name into his back
and shove the blade into his head
he'll scream and call me monster
till. he. bleeds. out.
but i know
the only monster is

      Y
                 O
                             U



die

The clouds paint the blue canvas white
No matter where you are it’s easy to see
That it’s picture perfect and just right
The reflection shines on the blue sea.
The sun paints the blue canvas orange
No matter what you are it’s a lovely view
The hours go on and the clouds rearrange
The flora sprouts life anew.
The stars paint the blue canvas black
No matter who you are you need to rest
For tomorrow when the blue canvas comes back
And shines on the beautiful forest.

There was once a man
Who looked at the moon and asked
"Is there anything I could ask,
that you can answer?"
There was no reply,
as expected.

The next morning, there was a dog.
The man crouched down
in front of the dog and asked
"What are you up to today?"
The dog walked past,
as expected.

In the afternoon, there was a girl.
She was sitting on a bench in the park.
The man sat beside her and asked
"Are you waiting for someone?"
She kept gazing at the sunset,
as expected.

Night falls in a pub in the city.
There's a drunken man, had many bottles.
The man approached him and asked
"Is something the matter?"
The man finally collapsed after too much drinks,
as expected.

Lastly, in a room there are antiques.
One is a mirror in an intricate frame.
The man looked at the mirror and asked
"How do you feel today?"
There was no reflection,
as expected.

Blanks.
Wasted parts of space.
Lost in thought and in uses;
a blank canvas without any muses.

Ivy.
It grows everywhere.
It can be poisonous,
or harmless.
Either way,
it's ivy.

I want to be like ivy.
A part of nature,
never to die.
But what use is nature,
when it sits and lies?
When it has no purpose,
other than to survive.
Isn't that the same as humanity?

Ivy is like humanity.
It grows around whatever it latches onto.
It adapts to it's environment.
It can be used,
and even admired.
It can also be hated,
and even decimated.

As I think about you,
my mind goes blank,
my breathe goes sharp
my head goes drunk.

It is a feeling of ecstasy.
rushing around my veins
loosing all my chains
like a butterfly flying all day.

All I know is that
we have the same feelings
same vibes
same directions

But, like an unchained melody
everything might be inside my head.
keeping all the dusts and trust.
twirling beneath rusts.

Oh and I think.
I like you so bad.