cassie marie

cassie marie Nov 2018

why

why
even after i left that hell
do i still remember everything so vividly
the ****** assault
the ****** harassment

the constant torment
the ransom texts telling me to die
the people whispering in the halls
about what your wearing, and why you're doing what you're doing

why do i still remember the faces and names
every single person that made this earth hell
i don't want to remember you

i want to move on
i'm trying to move on
i want to forget everything

but i just can't.

#sad #sob #poetry #bullying #trauma

cassie marie Nov 2018

care.

nine months
i cared for you
missing classes for appointments
the shame of having to tell my parents
the constant reminder that i have to do this alone

but with pain
comes beauty
knowing that i will be young
ill get to spend a long time with you
it's me and you till the end.

i had to learn to care for you and myself.
without that one word.
with four letters.
and one syllable.
would i know,
how to be a mother.

this is dedicated to my mother because why the hell not.

#motherhood #child #pregnant #happy #care #love #teen #pregnancy #poems #poem

cassie marie Nov 2018

nothing

in that moment
as we were laying down on the couch
you touched my waist
you grazed my arms

in the movies they glorify feeling something
something like butterflies
or erupting fireworks
or this tingly feeling

but no matter how hard i tried
i just couldn't feel anything
i wanted to so bad

so ******* bad.

its hard telling someone you felt nothing. i had to do it recently.

#sad #love #romantic #emotional #nothing #feelings

cassie marie Nov 2018

In the A.M

it's 12 am
everything is ok
the blaring of music from the parties
all the drinkers start to head home
all the loners are out at this time
wondering what would happen if they died
thinking "who would really miss me?"

It's 1 am
things are starting to kick in
the night is starting to settle down
some people are either having the times of their lives
or wondering what purpose they truly have in life
some are crying
some are laughing
some don't know what to feel.

It's 2 am
nothing is ok anymore
all the party animals have taken it down a notch
no one is out on the streets anymore
most are watching movies with their friends
others are sitting in one place,
wondering who would really miss them?
who would actually care if the died?

It's 3 am
everything has gone to ****.
you're staring at the bottle of pills
you set your razors out
you fill the tub with scalding hot water
you start to write the letters
tears stain the fragile paper as you sign them

It's 4 am
the sounds of birds chirping stopped you
it made you realize something
pain is just another reminder that you are alive
pain is a thing that makes you remember something,
you are human and you can get through this.
everyone goes through hurt
but everyday, people still carry on.

It's 5 am.
the sounds of cars driving helps you be happy
it reminds you to appreciate that you are alive
it helps drown out the voices
the voices telling you to ******* die.

It's 6 am.
the day breaks
and everything is ok again
it's a new day to start over.

look i am always here to talk and help out as best i can if you are going through something.i myself battle depression, anxiety, and ADD. and it ******* *****. but i am here for you.

#am #suicide #poetry #mornings #sad

cassie marie Nov 2018

The Memoir to my Broken Heart

there once was a girl
she wasn't as she seemed
she was kind, sweet, superbly smart and had a massive sweet tooth

There was a boy
he was exactly as he seemed
polar opposite of the girl
rude, failing grades, hated sweets in all forms

but they came together one day
it was like the stars aligned for them
it was a sudden connection
he was sweet to her
and she was amazing to him

he wanted to know everything about her
he wanted to feel the form of her body
he wanted to be in her mind
he wanted to know how a heart,
so broken and crushed
could still love

she wanted to know how someone
as amazing, sweet, and beautiful as he,
could love a broken girl like her.
she wasn't like other girls
she learned from the pain
she learned to never let it bug you
she has only told her story once
about all the madness behind the beauty

they finally got together
oh what a pair they were

the human body has 2 ears
2 eyes
and 2 lips
and 1 heart
she believed it was because the heart was independent
he believed it was because we were meant to find the other half

she broke him
the firey eyes he once had
were now burned out.
she said it was because she lost feelings
but you see the thing is
if you truly love someone,
how do you just stop loving them?

how do you wake up one day and decide you are no longer in love?
how do you leave the person who has been there for you
he never understood why she left him
he thought she was a flame
a flame to join his flaming heart

but what he didn't know
was that she was the bucket of water
to put out his burning heart.

WOW
also plot twist lol

#plottwist #water #fire #love #heartbreak #memoirtomybrokenheart #memoir #broken #brokenheart #heart

cassie marie Nov 2018

remember me.

i want you to remember me.
I want to be known as the girl who lit the fire in your cold, cold, cold heart.
I want to be remembered as the girl who was so care free and happy-go-lucky.
I want to be remembered as the one who showed you what it was like to truly be in love with someone.
I want to be the girl who helped you remember what it was like to enjoy and learn to love the stupid things.
Like walking in the rain, or watching the same movie over and over again just to keep feeling certain emotions, or how i helped you learn how to write strong, meaningful poetry.
I want to be the reason that you do certain things, like write your emotions out, or read certain books again, or listen to new artists and songs because i love them.
i want to be the reason you fall in love again.

so i broke up with my boyfriend lol

#love #poetry #rain #heartbreak #breakups #remembrance

cassie marie Nov 2018

match

you know when you strike a match?
you have to go quickly to light it
if you go too slow, it won’t light
but once you light it,
if you wave it around to quickly
it burns out
but if you wave it slowly
it stays lit

basically this is saying you can’t move to fast or feelings will burn out.

#matches #relationship #poetry #love #feelings #heartbreak #fast #slow