you know when you strike a match?
you have to go quickly to light it
if you go too slow, it won’t light
but once you light it,
if you wave it around to quickly
it burns out
but if you wave it slowly
it stays lit

i love you
don’t ever say i don’t
because it’s when i heard the poundings and screaming and shattering glass windows when i was 12
it’s the constant reminder that you’re the reason your parents aren’t in love anymore, that all their problems came from you. i was 13
when i was 14 i finally watched him walk out the door, i watched my mother fall to her knees. she balled for 3 days straight. now she’s killing herself with cigarettes and liquor.
at 15 i realized that i matured way faster than i was supposed to. i also realized my sister had been taking my antidepressants to shut the bullies out at school. i never knew that someone could be so hurt.
it was at 16 that you finally came into my life. showed me what love is. and that what i grew up with wasn’t normal, all the mental and physical scars that i had to tell you about, but you didn’t leave. infact, you were the reason the nightmares stopped.
flash forward to 23, we got our life planned together. we are a match, that has yet to burn out. you promised me something once, you promised me that we wouldn’t be like my parents. and you’ve held that promise for 8 years. i can’t thank you enough.

what’s worse?
loosing your love to death
or
loosing you love to loss of love?

i like to believe it is death
the thought of knowing they won’t be giving their all to someone else
knowing that you are truly the last person that made them happy

loosing someone to loss of love could possibly be the worst thing a heart could go through
knowing someone else will get all the love you once had and quite possibly more

i know death is inevitable
death doesn’t stop because you aren’t ready
but it doesn’t settle with me
yet, i’d rather my love be dead rather than dead to me
if i had to lose you at all.

you were everything i thought i needed
you were the one person who truly made me happy
but you laughed at me
and ******* took my stability
you abused your power over me
you knew i was in love with you
you knew i needed you.

you’re a cigarette
people use you for a temporary fix
they use you when they’re bored
a time filler
something to put between their teeth
then they step on you when they’re all done

but sweetheart
i’m a drug
i’ll make you an addict
you’ll love how i make you feel
you’ll love how i take the pain away
you’ll love how i’m dangerous
the rush i’ll make you feel
sweetheart
i’ll make you die for me.