breath in,
breath in so much air that it hurts
that your lungs hurt
and now keep breathing in
stop, wait
and let it all out

this action represents life
how?

we can take, take, and take
but sooner or later
we have to let it go
there is no chose
in any directions

/M.A./

If I look in the mirror
I don't see me
I see a girl who is hiding
She sits in the back of the class
She hides during lunch
And the saddest part?
She forgot who she ever was

Scream.
I.
Scream.

My throat hurts.
But the scream was soft.
My pillow holds all my screams.
So they can never escape.

I feel better.

Cry.
I.
Cry.

My eyes burn.
But my eyes won't water anymore.
My pillow holds all my tears.
So they can never escape.

I feel better.

I go to punch my pillow.
I need to vent.
Let it out.
Out.

Bleed.
I.
Bleed.

My knuckles are bruised.
The kid in front of me is crying.
Where is my pillow?
Where am I?

I feel awful.

Scream.
I.
Scream.

But this time.
Everyone can hear.
My pained cries echo the streets.
I can't hold it in anymore.

Blood trickles down my throat.
My eyes are red and puffy.
My knuckles are ****** from punching the pavement.
I can't stop.

I keep crying.
I keep screaming.
I keep punching.
I keep doing it.

Breathe.
I.
Breathe.

I can finally breathe.
After all this time.
I finally realised.
My pillow was suffocating me.

You saw me naked.
Not without clothes, but without my wall.
The 10 foot, steel reinforced, wall around my heart.
You broke in, brick by brick.
And I let you, I let you see me vulnerable.
Forgetting what others had done to me when they saw me the same.
I wish I could say you were different.
But, you saw me naked.
And you laughed, pointed out my insecurities, and broke me so much that I rebuilt my wall.
I rebuilt it higher and stronger than before.
Protecting my heart from so called love.
You also saw me without clothes.
Burned your touch into my skin.
Whispered sweet nothings into my ear, and that's just what they meant.
Nothing.
I can't look at my body without thinking about you.
Because, you saw me naked.
Defenseless and with open arms.
I shouldn't have trusted you.
But I did anyway.
I thought that since you had a wall to we would be amazing together.
But.
I never saw you naked.

You struck me down
I brought you up
You broke my heart
You stupid ****
My ****** body
Lay by your side
A knife in hand
You laugh with pride
On my hands and knees
I crawl back to you
With bleeding wrists
I whisper, "I love you too"
There's no way out
Of this hell I'm in
Slaughter me now
Consume my sin
You didn't care
About me now or then
So I'm done with you
I won't come back again.

Hidden affections
Forgotten thoughts
Lost feelings
Fake love

who knew your words
could hurt me that much
worse than when
I scraped my knee
that night I was drunk
trying to forget about
those words you said