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 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx

A seemingly ancient photograph
Capturing a perfect moment in time
Eternalising our friendship
Sealing us in our prime

A photo taken in the spur of the moment
As an attempt to follow a new "selfie" trend
Within the seats of a worn down minivan
We all sat and laughed as friends

At the young ages of 11 and 12
Still quite young and naive
We drove around the endless fields
Laughing and singing as we were free

We called ourselves The Gang
Though we rarely did anything wrong
The six of us were so close back then
It was the only time I felt like I belonged  

Stopping the car behind the willow tree
With its branches drooping low
Rays of sunlight shining down
But at that time we didn't quite know

Let's take a picture

A black iPod touch
Was the thing to capture this moment
we all posed with the peace sign
In time we are forever frozen

This picture that at the moment meant nothing
It was all just meaningless fun
But now we see that during that time
It was the last day that we were together as one

Our lives have all gone different ways
In complete opposite directions
We haven't seen each other in years
We no longer hold that same connection

The photograph sits within my room
My most treasured possession I own
etched into the bottom of the frame
The words that we once promised

We'll meet again someday

This is honestly a picture taken so long ago that I can barely remember it,
2012 and having no clue how to take a selfie
 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx

Am I evil For feeling something I shouldnt?

For knowing the truth
The unerving fears
The roaring rivers
Full of my lonely tears

Am I evil For stealing away your light

I took you away
Rid you of this personal hell
As this place was like a jail
Within it you silently dwell

Am I evil For wanting to be yours?

I wanted you
That's all I ever asked
Even though for you
My memory is long passed

Am I evil For longing to hold you tight?

To hide you away
Hidden quietly within my arms
Though you were difficult to contain
As you were your own storm

Am I Evil
For loving you with all my might
For allowing you to fly
And letting you fill my mind each night

Am I really that Evil
For giving you my heart
Or are you the evil one
For breaking it apart

Maybe I am Evil
For trying to give you the blame
For reasoning with myself
Saying its not just a game

Am I Evil... Or is it you?
My minds driving me insane
Trying to figure out who is who, thought
We both held the key to each others chains

Could it be that we both are evil
As we each had a role to play
That our fragile yet manipulative souls
Were the thing that lead ourselves astray

Yes.
It seems that
We are both Evil


 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx

Whats the point in giving my heart away
Whats the point of giving it to a boy who wont stay
A boy that is full of lies and deceit
A boy that somehow I found to be sweet

What is it about the dangerous and the bad
The hurt, the broken and all of the cheats
What is it about them that draws us in
What is it that causes our hearts to skip a beat

Though they lie, manipulate
We fall for their traps
Too perfectly set up
There are no gaps

Our hearts are drawn in
Its so perfect and right
Sweet whispers in the air
Cold kiss of the night

Within their dark and stormy eyes
We see our reflection
They hold the same hurt, Same pain
The desperate need for affection
Though these feeling are in vain

We can fix them, Help them
We can be the one who changes their ways
And there we are trapped
imprisoned within that deceitful gaze

Intoxicated by sugar coated words
convincing ourselves we want nothing more
That we are more then just any other girl
That we can feel their love deep within our core

It takes time and pain to realise the truth
The harsh, cruel reality that knocks on our door
Just a game to them, it was never anything more
To them we are no different to a common *****

Suffering in silence, crying a flood of tears
Then being filled with anger, the rage and the fears
Questioning ourself worth as we thought we knew better
But all of these feelings just seem to bring them pleasure

A never ending cycle of victims and pain
Hopefully karma catches up to them one day
As too many have fallen as they decided to play
To All have been enslaved within this Sadistic game
 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx
Deleted
 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx

I'm over you
I can move on
I'm determined now
I've changed

Your Number
D e l e t e d
Your Texts
D e l e t e d
Your Photos
D e l e t e d

Erasing your very existence from my life
All physical evidence of you is gone
Yet I can't seem to shake you from my mind

Your Voice
U n d e l e t a b l e
Your Face
U n d e l e t a b l e
Your touch
U n d e l e t a b l e

Our memories.
U n t o u c h a b l e

 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx
Years fly by without a moment too soon
Our childhood is gone, Like a hazy sunday afternoon
We are no longer the same, children no more
We've grown up now, We aren't as close as before

I wanted to protect you from the world
I wanted to make things right
But It seems no matter how hard I try
You always look at me with spite

I wanted you to look up to me
I wanted to seem so cool
But every time I open my mouth
You treat me as if I am a fool

I wanted to help you
I wanted to treat you the best I can
But when I offer you help
You act as if you are a man

I wanted to change the past
I wanted to show you I can be kind
But whenever I show you love
Your response is always unkind

I know its time to stop pretending
To stop treating you as a kid
I know that you've grown up too
That nothing now can erase what I did

After everything we've been through
After all the damage we've done
Don't let growing up
Become the thing that makes us undone

So to my dearest little brothers
Even though you've grown so tall
Please don't forget me
I am your big sister after all
 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx
That one boy
 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx

There is one boy
That I'll always admire
His wavy ash brown hair
Gentle, warm loving eyes
He's but a lost memory
A blast from the past
Still each time i see him
I just wished it had last
He doesn't stand out
Quiet and meek
He stands to the side
As he rarely speaks
Kind and pure
Its quite odd to see
But I still remember a time
he got hurt and bleed
He's in love with the colour green
Wearing it everywhere he goes
Its quite literally
On everything he owns
He's afraid of hurting others
Straight forward and honest
But no matter what happened
He always keeps his promise
Incredibly bad with words
He stumbles and falls
A strange personality
He's really is a little oddball
Tall and attractive
A fairly cute face
large toothy grin
His messy hair out of place
Though time has moved on
We forgot one another
same environment
yet so far from each other
When our paths cross ways
A cheerful smile floods his face
he rapidly waves at me
He has me in a daze
I send a bright smile
And a small little wave
No words spoken
As continue our day
A boy and a girl
Both childhood friends
But as time ticked by
that all seemed to end
Merely a small interaction
Though we are no longer the same
Allows my heart to feel satisfaction
Even when nothing else remains

He's that one boy.

He's that one boy I'll always remember
As he will always have that little place in my heart
Even if we have drifted apart
 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx
Don't blame me
 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx

You threw me away
What was I meant to do?
So don't tell me that
I was the one that gave up on you

You Disappeared
Completely vanished from my life
Tearing my soul piece by piece
Cutting my heartstrings with a knife

Flaunting about your amazing new life
Telling me how the grass is greener
Manipulating me with those sugar coated words
Though those words couldn't taste any sweeter

Forgetting me, Running away
Thats the least you could do
Yet as I walk these lonely halls
Everything I see reminds me of you

The classrooms and paths
Our spot that was meant forever
broken wood and metal music
These held no meaning for you whatsoever

STOP IT
He's Gone and never coming back

I know that better than anyone
I've painted all our memories black
They've been poisoned by the eroding pain
The fear of my heart starting to crack

Its Pathetic to keep clawing
Trying to hold your place in their heart
Screaming and crying so desperately
When all they want is to be apart

At one point he did care
It wasn't all a lie

I guess to him, I'm just one of a million stars
That twinkle within the night sky

Reflecting on our good times
The times where he did cared
Though we are but strangers now
I miss the good times that we shared

I know that within his life
There is no place for me
Though I have given him my heart
Its now my turn to be free

So when you finally do realise
That my heart no longer belongs to you
Don't blame me for leaving
As you were the first to say Adieu.

At a certain point you have to stop putting your heart and soul into somebody who wouldn't ever do the same for you.
 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx
Dear Little Heart
 Jun 2018 Red
Nyx
Its finally done
At the break of dawn
everything we had
Now riddled and gone

After all that we were
The torment and lies
Corrupted hearts entwined
And our toxic love dies

It hurts deep within my soul
My heart begins to cry
How many times
Must I have to die?

Why is it that
They never decide to stay
Our all to them we give
Though they leave at the end of each day

Piece by piece
We give ourselves away
To fill the broken voids
Of people who have swayed

Smaller and smaller
We are dying inside
Trapped but willingly
caged from the skies

A Hefty price we happily pay
To see a simply smile upon their face
In return we are left with nothing
We gently fall from grace

Love and affection
thats all we ever wanted
Use us, Abuse us
Then leave us forgotten

Hush now be silent
another has come along
Maybe you should ask them
Before blaming them for being wrong

Open up and let them in
Let them see what's truly beneath
Show them what you truly hide
Behind that beautiful mask you keep

Broken and wounded
My dear little heart
But its okay to try again
This time you wont fall apart
 Jun 2018 Red
Myrrdin
Wake up
 Jun 2018 Red
Myrrdin
"Good morning!"s slowly died out
As did my good mornings
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