To offer me friendship
Is to insult my love
The love I have for you
Could not pretend a smile
I cannot look at you
And not tell you I loved you
To offer me friendship
After all the bonds we shared
The tears we have shed
The passion we had
The hopes for each other
Is to insult and slander
Those hardships and memories
It belittles our own feelings
It escapes accountability
By pretending we are fine
I would rather
Look at you with angst
With sorrow and yearning
Than to uphold a lie
That you preferred to live by
We cannot be friends
Just as we
Cannot be together

It's the smallest moments
That hits me the hardest
The most insignificant ones
Yet somehow significant to me

Small, simple moments
Like getting a pizza
But not sharing a slice
Saving a funny meme
But not able to show it
Or eager to watch a series
But being the only viewer
Doing a basket of laundry
But for the smallest load
Seeing a new restaurant
But ordering just for one
Getting into my car
But only opening my door
Pointing out something cool
But only pointing for myself
Preparing for bedtime
But the bed is all mine

It's those smallest moments
The most insignificant ones
That suddenly hits me the hardest
When it's all without you

I am always
One call away
One text away
One email away
One street away
From you
I am always
There for you
But you are always
One step
Away from me