I still mourn for you
Although you're alive
Living a normal life
I mourn for the future
That had you in it
I mourn for the death
Of the dreams we had
Crying every night
For a love lost once
I mourn for the version
Of us smiling together
I am pleading with anyone
Bring back what is gone
Because I am tired
Of mourning the loss
Of whom I loved

My greatest fear
Is forgetting how you smiled
The sound of your voice and laughter
Forgetting how you held me 
Forgetting the color of your eyes
My greatest fear
Is forgetting the traits you have
Forgetting our anniversary, our meals
What were your habits and moods
Forgetting everything we had together 
My greatest fear
Is forgetting everything about you
Only to be struck remembering 
How much this stranger
Meant to me

Why are you crying?
Why would you shed tears for this?
After all
It was you that ended this
It was you that broke my heart
So why are you crying?
That silent pain you're showing me
The sadness deep in your eyes
Why are you sad
When I was the one who tried?
I have every right to shed tears
Yet you're doing it on my behalf
Why would you cry for the bonds
That you cut with your own hands?
Why would you cry for the love
When you're the one who turned away?
Why would cry so much for us 
When I am the one you hurt?
Let me cry, shout, let it all out
I have every right to do so because of you
Instead
Even as you cry for your own actions
Even as you cry stepping away from me
I will still wipe those tears away
I will still kiss the pain away 
I will still tell you that it's okay 
Because even as you end everything
I never want to see you cry
Even when I am the one
Crying inside

The greatest lie you ever told to me
Was sealed with a kiss
That passion, desperation, clinging to mine 
You lied fiercely to me 
You pressed it to my lips as I believed it all
Lying to me repeatedly 
But my heart begged for more of your love 
Lie to me more, please
Because every time we do, I gain some hope
That this wasn't the last
That we had so much more in store for each other
We held on for so long
Both wanting to make this our permanent truth
Once again
I fell for the lie, the promise, that you will always
Come back to me

What I hate about myself
That is so pathetic and weak
That I despise so much 
Is that you can yell at me 
Call me names, throw lies
Throw all the trust back at me
Even hit me, scratch me 
Make me hurt and cry
Make my heart beg 
Make my voice loud
You can do all those things
Yet I know **** well
The moment we both 
Finally grow quiet and calm
The moment your golden eyes
Look upon my eyes, my soul
What I hate about myself 
Is that I would still love you
I would love you wholeheartedly
Through the pain and anger 
The guilt, regrets, wounds 
I will still love you through it all
Even through gritted teeth
Even through running tears
Even with a broken heart 
I will still love you through it all