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 Jul 2018 Chrissy Ade
Charlotte
Some truths are told in anger,
Some truths are told in vain,
Sometimes there’s value in candor,
Sometimes truth just causes pain.

Some truths told aren’t told on purpose,
Some come out without consent,
Some when told do a great disservice,
No matter how honorable their intent.

Some truths are never told,
Away in drawers they’re kept,
Things gilded still shine like lustrous gold,
And dry are tears long wept.

I once had a truth I tried to speak,
But it was spoken by another prematurely,
I saw it happen, my voice was weak,
I handled it like a child and far too immaturely.

What was exposed could not be taken back,
It was a point of no return,
I was indignant, it all turned black,
I wanted the world to burn.

And burn it did,
But only mine,
Down hard I slid,
The real world was fine.

With time gone by, I must admit a lesson I learned,
The truth really does set you free,
But to whom my truth concerned,
I can only apologize, it should’ve come from me.
I take my imaginary pen
I write down my anger
I close my eyes and count to ten
just to breathe a little longer

It's laughable really
when I see you justifying
Sure, you're all touchy-feely
only goodwill, so hard-trying

When you said that to me
where was your heart at?
Why calling me your better-half-to-be
when all you wanted was a shoulder pat?

Oh you, with your wonderful poetry,
oh, lies so beautifully written down
please just stop, you don't know no poverty
in your emerald sea everything you wanted me to believe is to drown

I never thought you would make me think
the worst of you instead
And I swear I could only stand and stare and shrink
when you didn't care to lose your head

Now you haunt me like the headless horseman
and you will forever
but I do not worry for my sanity, oh boy of thoughts turned cyan
I walked with ghosts before and a headless one is so less clever

And if you ever come back looking for this head of yours
Think twice, try a little bit harder wannabe
It might stick out of the sand at your emerald sea shores
Your love for me was never poetry
The funny thing about silence is,
In my head, It never truly is
silent.
In the end, It will all fit together, won't it?
My body somehow knows
The grief tomorrow holds.
I ache and throb
But I cannot sob;
The urge to cry
Stings my eyes.
My feet drag heavily
In the depths of this valley.
Every year without fail
I remind myself I am too frail.
"You're strong without the numbers,"
Yet I was too weak to pull you from your slumber.
Each March 22nd
Feels just like the 1st end,
When your heart stopped beating
And mine started bleeding.
I'd skip this whole day
But I'd miss the chance to say:
I miss you, lovely little hurricane.
It's all I can do to keep sane.
The smell of mint
Hurts just a hint.
The skinny jeans and hair bows
I could never disown.
I wear your effect  
On my forearm *****.
The pain of loss is akin
To etching you into my skin.
My hands shake with cold,
Though not as cold as a headstone.
Oh, how my body knows
The grief tomorrow holds.
In Loving Memory of Kelcy Golling.
07/02/1999 - 03/22/2014
 Jul 2018 Chrissy Ade
eileen
 Jul 2018 Chrissy Ade
eileen
Empty stomach
crying your name
I wished upon a star
for a cloudy day

I lied
I lie
I never find the right moment

They expect the best
I have the worst inside me

The roses left behind

I never want to look back
She's lightning at the beach.
I'm the sand underneath.
She reaches down to touch
And
Shapes a peice of me
Into
A work of art
And
Even I can see it's radiance.
My heart is now in so much pain.
My tears are falling like pouring rain.

I can no longer sleep a full night.
I can no longer fight.

We broke each other's hearts.
We were torn apart.

We are no longer together.
What happened to forever?

No one can save me from the dark's might.
This time there will be no light.
I'm not going to fight.

There's no reason to.
When I did fight, it was for you.

I know I never did show how I felt.
Just believe me,
every time I saw you,
my heart would melt.

Just know...
I loved you then,
I love you still.
I promise
I always will.

I don't know why
we had to say our goodbyes...
but I'll love you till the day I die.

My heart is broken,
but I still have hope.

One day
we might get back together.
Maybe next time will be forever.

written by:
© Bri
© Bri
Will it be forever? Or will it end
 Jul 2018 Chrissy Ade
She Writes
There is too much regret
In unspoken words
The quiet thoughts
Whispered only to the moon

There is too much longing
In wishful thinking
Daydreams
Can quickly become a nightmare

There are too many tears
Spilled onto pillows
Over suffering and longing
From words unsaid
 Jul 2018 Chrissy Ade
Dev
Words
 Jul 2018 Chrissy Ade
Dev
The words will come to me eventually.
I’ll hear them, see them, taste them,
As for now this pit in my stomach has rendered me completely and utterly senseless, devoid of feeling, emotion.
Devoid of words.
I grasp at straws and empty threats
Desperate to find something within myself.
Someone within myself.
I dream the most vivid dreams but
As soon as daylight crosses my face
And pries  my eyes open
It becomes void of colour
Of clarity.
Devoid of hope.
And I sit here in wait of something
Someone within myself
For as I am
I am a shell of a human being
Waiting for something to fill me with life
To give me purpose.
And I know the words will come eventually.
They always do.
I’ll be able to see them, hear them, touch them.
But they’ll be different.
It’s  been hard to write for the past couple months
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