I have stories in my head.
I have feelings in my heart.
I have songs in my mouth.
But the words don't flow.

I want to write of adventure.
I want to sing of good times.
I want to express how much I love you.
But my mind forms these thoughts too slow.

I want to tell the stories of heroes I've dreamed up.
I want to compose ballads that stick in people's heads.
I want to write of love and life as I've experienced them.
But as I grasp for the words, from my hand they go.

I want to write. I should start today.
But here, in this moment, I don't know what to say.

There's many things I'd change--looking back.
I wish I'd been nicer in high school.
I wish I'd tried harder to be myself.
I wish I wasn't always trying to fit in.
I wish I'd tried harder with the first
woman I loved.
I wish I'd given my family more of my time.
I wish I'd been more careful with my feelings.
I wish I'd understood how quickly money can
Be frivolously spent.
I wish I'd been a better friend
And a calmer person.

Looking back on it all;
I don't think I have regrets.
It all led me to where I am today.
But there are some things I wish I didn't say.

Without you:
I wouldn't know when the tv is too loud.
I would know when the milk has gone bad.
I wouldn't know when I need a haircut.
I wouldn't remember doctors appointments.
I wouldn't know when I'm driving too fast.

You nag me a lot,
But I love you more because of it. And
Without you
I wouldn't know I am loved

We all want something;
To live
To love
To have wealth
To have nice things.

We all want someone;
Someone to tell us
Everything will be alright.
Someone to tell us
You're not the monster you see in yourself.

But sometimes
We must realize that
We don't always get what we want.

Sometimes we have to see
That some of us,
Are too broken to be deserving of those things.

We have to move on. Always move on

The way the smiles
Turned to tears.
The way the joy
Was crushed by insecurities and fears.

The way we went from snuggling
To bickering and namecalling.
The way the sparkle in your eye
Started to dim and eventual die.

The way you stopped saying
"I love you so much"
And the way your voice
Speaking in my head was made to hush.

The way everything
Seemed to implode.

Was it my fault?

A sad song whispers from the speakers.
The sound of her voice whispers in my head.

A word,
A phrase,
Meanings lost
In the covering of years.

The snow crunches lightly under tires
Worn with miles trying to outrun her memory.
My hands shake on the wheel,
I can't forget the sound of her voice.

The speakers go silent as the song ends,
The darkness seems to be nearer now.
Headlights no longer cutting through
The black.

I drive on.
Running from it all.
Running is all I know.
Hiding in the night.

The song starts again.

I shouldn't have told you
The things I worried about.

I shouldn't have told you
The worst fears I had.

I shouldn't have told you
I was afraid to lose you.

I shouldn't have told you
How I felt about myself.

I shouldn't have trusted you
Not to pull the trigger on my heart.

I should have written poetry.
Maybe then you would have stayed.