It's writers block I promise
I want to write you love songs
I wish to inscribe the clouds with my thoughts
To deeply embellish is the tide of my words washing over paper
I keep waiting for the right words to say about you
Cliff diving off dictionary back spines
Finding grained wood eradication
This block has become this
A feeble attempt to feel my way onto paper
Driving my heart through this forest
To find its way back home

Four years
And the acrid proof still swells,
Drags down my face when I recall
The sweetness before the end.

Even angry
Hot metal hatred ready to
Scour a path to him
Something stronger finished first
Lept back and forth to show that
Words meant nothing in the face of
This.

I've worn a cranial path-
So trodden in the search for
How things go on between Two
When one ceases existing.

The why is evident,
The how has fallen to negation.

A metaphor of life,
A metaphor of death,
A metaphor of love,
That you once left.

Why do I keep on smoking?
It's a bad habit, I presume
I once hated its smell;
You know, like how you hated it.

Even cried to God
For my father to stop,
Its killing him-
A terrible affliction.

Now, here I am
Smoking my last cigarette  
Now that you are gone;
Its killing me, but you killed me first.

When will I conquer this torment?
Pondering about you,
Cigarettes keep me warm
Every puff and cough.

I don't blame you;
I just condemn my self
For being too weak,
Naive, and trusting.

I guess
I'm not really addicted to you,
I'm just addicted to your company,
Your warmth.

Every flick of the cigarette ****,
Like shootings stars,
Wishing you'd come back
This emptiness, this hollow smoke

I'll promise to stop, maybe.
But not now, darling
I guess this vice would suffice,
For now.

I always lived in the moment, got lost in it.
 I didn’t think of the future,
 I got lost in your eyes.
Hypnotized by them,
By your voice, your laugh,
 Now you’re gone because “it wasn’t going anywhere.”
 I cried for days, for nights.
 The sight of you brings an ache to my heart.
 I was truly lost in this world
 And trapped inside my dangerous thoughts
 That you always made me forget.
 Now I can’t stop thinking.
 Your smile that warmed my heart.
 Your laugh that made me feel alive.
 Your light brown eyes
 That sometimes magically changed color.
 Their happiness.
 Thinking of how happy you are with her.
 At least that’s what I’m told.
How you don’t know
 The pain I feel for you.
How you don’t care if I see the light.
Thinking of how you don’t care.
 Thinking of the memories you threw away
 And how I picked them out of the trash,
 Too afraid to let them go.

I've always been a bird,
Trapped in my little cage.
It's dark and cramped in here,
It feels as though I'm suffocating

I watch the free birds from
Behind my metal bars.

I dream of the day my capturers
Set me free.
The day I may spread my wings.
The day I may fly with the wild ones.

I have the power to break out,
But I'm afraid of the consequences.
All my life I've been told how to live.
To sit and be a nice bird.

I'm getting restless.
I'm getting peckish.

I want to break out,
I have the power.
But I'm so afraid that
My wings won't work anymore,
From the lack of experience.

I'm so afraid that the wild birds
Won't see me as their own.
I don't know how to fit in.
This, my capturers have not taught,
Only how to sit and be a nice bird.
Do what I'm told, what is expected of me.

Well I'm getting peckish.

I want to fly.

A picture
                 slices a sliver of time
                                the traveller rewinds
and misses a beat

We can live life
                                          or
create timelines unlived

Robot replaces all unpleasantries

A picture,
cut from the reel of reality.
Nobody to miss the time,
between the jumpcuts.
Except, when you've had
a few too many