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I sight in vain,
the cause of my distain,
A slur of hope to be washed away
by the pain,
Espoused to unfortune,
I weep and weep,
For the love I find,
is the one I cannot Keep
Will I find you in Spring?
Immersed in profound happiness,
Or do I look for you in autumn?
In the depths of my despair,
Hollow and brittle,
Like the leaves.
I wonder,
If my eyes would tear up first,
Or will my heart.
For I can't forget the sight of our depart.
Like a concept she felt known but not heard,
Her desires were just a replica of her mother's,
Like wise her mother Will she mourn over them too?
the demise of her desire,
The deceased desire to live,
To create,
To be known and heard,
And to be aware,
To be completely infatuated with something more than an idea,
To be infatuated with reality,
Hitherto,
she had learned 4 walls is all there is to this life.
Inquire of my condition,
"I have an ill heart "shall I retort,
For it fails every single one of my logic,
Over a petty whim,
A dull heart is the cause of my misery I have come to know,
But I hope to not grieve,
And for it to not show.
Shall I spill words?
Shall I spill tears?
Or Shall I spill blood?
Indegenious to my nature is the fact,
That it can't stay,
It needs to flow,
It needs to be felt and heard by another existence,
A much kinder and understanding one
Hitherto,
the sacrifice to spill has left a dauntingly adverse repression,
Nothing has sustained,
all has been robbed,
"Shall I spill away all that has been left of me?"she wonders
Do not ask me who I am
Ask me why I am
For that will give me peace
An affirmation of my existence
Amongst the many others God created
A lamb to the slaughter?
who understands the sacrifice she is going to be  put up for and makes peace with it
A clown in a Circus?
One who's duality knows no bounds
A looming shadow?
One with a beating heart
A crow amongst the doves?
Shrewd and menacing
A grasshopper in an ants colony?
Who understands life best in the depth of it's ruins
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