Depression is not feeling sad
Or thinking your decisions are bad
It's having this cloud go over your head
It's lying at night awake in your bed
It's coloring shapes to make yourself see
Something, anything for which you could become free
It's shaking and pausing and pretending to sleep
For being numb is much better than taking the leap
And depression is strange for it makes you think faster
Your thoughts speed around til you make them your master
So you paint on a smile and go out to be
The person your family and friends think they should see
They don't need to know about the hurt you can't feel
For to them, you're just fine, though this sensation is real
And the emptiness consumes you until you feel small
For depression is feeling everything and nothing at all.

Constantly.
It doesn't stop.
Like an ache,
pure pain,
yet I've become numb to it...
It doesn't matter how many times you drop me,
I'd get back up every time
and run back.
Over and over again,
never truly realizing all the breaking bones,
bruising legs, bleeding cheeks.
Soon I become so damaged I don't even want myself.
All I'll ever want is you.

Being with you is all I wanted yet
Its the reason why I’m hurting.
Hurting because I feel like I’m alone
in this relationship.
Relationship isn’t always about happiness,
I get that, but why do I feel like the pain is heavier now.
Now that we’ve been together for so long, things are not as strong as before.
Or is it I, who got weaker?

Why have we come to this point?
Why did you stop trying?
Why is it always my choice?
Why can’t you decide this time?
For the last time, tell me what you truly feel,
So I know where I stand in your life.

The difference between actions and habits,
     is often measured by the person you're asking.  
One bump, one line, one half ounce . . .
All shared by people you don't even give a **** about.

These chemicals make me sick --
              Limitless . . . Why quit?
              When it's only ten bucks for a hit like this?
Even Jesus Christ would have gotten addicted,
              if drugs in his day were half this good.

"Yeah, I'm smashed -- but I promise I can drive fine."
      Walk and push the limits of a real fine line...
If I don't **** myself, or someone else . . . I'm happy.
       Stare death in his eyes, wink, and start laughing.

Gasping as I swerve lanes --
Stay safe, get paid. Mundane daily.
Living a-live . . .
Eat. Sleep. Dream. Get laid.  
Chase feelings.

           Please, just feel me now.
                                    You know me, right?

           Please, just feel me now.
                                    You love me, right?

I want to melt with you -- let our souls collide . . .
Dissolve the boundaries between students and teachers.
        To bridge the gap in the great divide
        No secrets between us -- bleed into the speakers.

Feel the air in your chest, and ask God for a reason
To stay or leave Him.
He makes excuses . . .

                                                    . . . Believe Him.