I miss you
The most when
I know my heart still beats,
Because I miss you every moment
I'm alive
Except when I'm asleep
Since you're much too
Perfect
To live in my
Nightmares
Because you're a dream
And I'm sorry we woke up
To this cold reality

Could you walk down the driveway one more time
To find me off to the side
On a bed of rose petal and blood
Cold dead hands
Carving patterns in my skin
With the fragments of my skull
I was halfway to hell under your hands
So why don't I just
Slip all the way, into a sweet unconsciousness
Where my stomach heaves and blood runs pure
Before I fell
Before I fell into your hell
Where the devil is in your eyes
And plays at your lips
Running down my spine
If this tight grip on my ****** hips is your love
Then hand me the gun,
Do me a favor
Ask your daddy for the bullets
Even though I've already got one
Place the cold metal against my temple
If this is your love,
Prove it to me
And pull the **** trigger

Why do you only come around when you wanna feel high?
Saying I'm your drug, pulling my skin between your lips like a cheap cigarette
A few minutes of heaven for you to forget everything, all the songs of pain you created
And I hold on to the hope that maybe
You began regretting every breath you took,
Every moment wasted on a cheap cigarette
Because the thought of you hating me,
Your hands built to torture me,
Is much easier to swallow than the idea that maybe you loved me,
You could not have felt anything towards me because
I am a disgrace, a **** up
I'm completely out of luck
I am another thing for you to regret,
I'm nothing more than your cheap cigarette,
And that's why you only came around when to lie,
You only showed up when you wanted to feel high

Being as an ocean blue I don't think
I can get used to you
Your eyes live behind mine
So you see through a dim reality
You're a ghost from my fingertips
You are no one I miss
And I have another path to take
Away from the bitter memories
Where nothing was real and nothing was fake
Because I could not be with them,
Or you,
Unless I was bound by a false grace
Like the butterfly eyelashes on my
Plastic face,
I was a perfect mess
With your flower petals painted
On my cheeks, it made me
Hate your ego with my violet bruises
And I find that you still make me sick
Well I'll keep making the same excuses, the one he always uses
And I'll find comfort knowing you must hate me too
I know you would find the X where we
Marked a spot, where you said I was
Out of my head
And I could throw the words right back at you until they cut
Straight through and I realize
How much I despise all of you
And everything you do
So being as an ocean blue
I don't think I ever got used to you
Even before all this time
When I thought I knew
Every part of you
I never got used to your polite waves
That could brew up a new storm
And we could fall out like never before
I don't believe I knew the ocean well
Each depth was darker than it seemed, and I cannot swim through
You and your ocean blue

I pressed a pen to the paper
Like the razor to my wrist
Out spilled the blood red ink
From the tip it bled your name
Just like my skin
I would have never guessed
You would get me in this mess
So from my lips I bled your name
And your chest did the same
Initials carved in flesh
I would have never guessed
We would be in this mess

She's got red hearts everywhere*
A blush here or there,
Never a hair out of place
She's a girl filled with grace
God given love
From somewhere up above
And I know
I could never compare
To her perfect skin
Scarless but plain
Somehow she remains sane
And I'm lost in my thoughts
With hands bruised and bound
Down to my sides
Bleeding from base to tip
My wrist falls limp
Against his grip
And maybe it's meant to be this way
And maybe I'm supposed to go today
And maybe
I don't want this anymore
Because the memories won't fade
From stained cheek with blood rimmed eyes
And maybe I don't want to look in the mirror ever again and see a dead stare
Looking back at me
Because maybe
I don't want to see ever again
I don't want to feel this pain
I don't want to let this heart beat another day
When all I know is
I could never compare to the girl
Who throws her heart everywhere
But still I wish
I could be something worth jealousy
I know I'm worth a grave
Six feet under ground
Where I will never have
To see a dead gaze looking
Back at me..

My apologies leave a dry throat with a sting
Another and another fall from a limp jaw
Another from pale lips
And again from bleeding wrists
My apologies are written in blood
And spilling from one last kiss
Soaking into your skin
Sinking through the surface
And my apologies burst from my skull  as the bullet shatters my bone
And regret splatters across the wall
Written in blood is nothing but
**"I'm sorry"

I promise
The only heaven you'll see is
The endless nothing
Of the coffin I put you in.
I promise
You'll be glad to go because the hell I'll give you is the closest to salvation you'll ever come.
I promise
I'll take my damnation with a smile because anything is better than
Living with my life in your hands.
I promise
Your God can't save you now
Because you're already in hell.
Believe me, I lived it too.
I promise
You'll never escape
The burn of my eyes
Or the stings of my hands
Ripping your heart to shreds,
I'm going to hell,
But none of this was in vain,
It's simply what you deserve,
I promise*.

There are no words to explain,
Exactly how you look,
When I can finally see the pain
Lift from your eyes
And there is no way to describe
The feeling I get when you look into mine.
Your flawless warmth radiating through my frozen body, I can feel the smile spread from my lips
To my heart,
Opening my lungs with the melancholy joy you fill me with.
You're perfection that is much too beautiful to walk this earth,
And I'm sorry you must bear the pain that comes with it,
And I'm sorry you've fallen for me,
That you've fallen for a mess.
I'm a joke, I'm garbage, I'm a wasteland,
But though I'm a mess,
I am a mess that loves you like no other mess could,
And there are no words to describe
How I am not sorry
That I have fallen for you.