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Abel Dec 2024
I fall into the abyss.
I drown in darkness.
I become the abyss.
Part of the darkness.

When I swallow you whole,
do you finally see me?
short poem I wrote some time ago
Abel Dec 2024
On the first day, I was born into a wrong body.
On the second day, I turned into a mirrored copy.

On the third day, I pushed everyone away.
On the fourth day, begged anyone to stay.

On the fifth day, I cried on my own.
On the sixth day, I was completely alone.

On the seventh day, I found myself,
But at that point, I was only a living shell.
Quick poem after a difficult day that popped up in my brain.
Abel Dec 2024
Was heißt es Jud zu sein?
Heißt es: Du wirfst den ersten Stein?
Heißt es: Du bist ein feiger Schnorrer?
Heißt es: Du gehörst nicht nach Andorra?

Sie kommen und sie packen dich,
Der Traum vom schönen Leben bricht.
Was hilft des Mädchens Treue?
Was der Leute späte Reue?

Wem soll man glauben wenn ein jeder lügt?
Das Dorf in frischem Weiß geschmückt.
Andorra, so schön und rein,
Hier will keiner Jude sein.
Inspired by the dra,a "Andorra" by Max Frisch
Inspiriert von dem Stück "Andorra" von Max Frisch
Abel Dec 2024
In meinem Kopf, da haust ein Tier.
Ist schleimig und eklig, ist schrecklich und groß.
Fremde Augen tief in mir
Stelln mich vor mir selber bloß.

Will ich es lieben, hass ich es doch.
Bleibt es mir fern muss ich es suchen,
Und kommt es zu mir, dann lass ich es los,
Um es zärtlich zu verfluchen.

Ich will mich vor der Welt verstecken.
Will, dass niemand sieht und schaut,
Wie ich in meinen tiefsten Ecken
Mein Monster hab aus Angst gebaut.

Treten, schneiden, Ketten legen.
Hin und wieder brüllts in Wut.
Wills nicht lieben, wills nicht pflegen.
Geilt sich auf an meinem Blut.

Ich halt es fest und nochmal fester,
Dann stöhnt und schreits soviel es kann.
Mein einz´ger Freund, mein bester.
Es stöhnt und schreit in Stille dann.
Abel Dec 2024
Did you disappear into words?
I did and I can
Tell you
It is great.

To not be anymore.
To be
Without a soul
Without a body.

I like being a part of
Words
The void
The abyss
The dark
The emptiness
The nothing

To be without mind and worry
Is my endless dream.
Experimental text.
Abel Dec 2024
Are you okay?
For another day?
Another fight?
Another flight?

Can you make it through?
Even though,
You are you.
Abel Dec 2024
I cannot eat this.
Eat.
If I would, I´d feel like puking.
Eat.
I don´t like the texture, or the taste.
Eat.
I am not even feeling hungry. Not that I ever do.
Eat.
I don´t like the color and form.
Eat.
It is mushy and weird.
Eat.
The thought alone makes me sick.
Eat.
I do not want to eat this.
Eat.
I will feel sick.
Eat.
I cannot eat this.
Eat.
Felt like writing about my relationship with food I guess.
Abel Dec 2024
Zu viel Finsternis in einem dunklen Kern.
Es ist nicht so einfach.
Nicht so schwierig, leicht, schwer.

Nicht verschwinden.
Du willst nicht verschwinden.
Du darfst nicht verschwinden.
Ich darf nicht verschwinden.

Niemandsgesicht, Niemandsgesicht
Du hast es oder siehst es nicht.

Eis zu brechen. Eis zu sprechen.
Das Wort ist Eis in deinem Mund.
Es liegt wie Eis in meinem Ohr.

Translation:
Too much darkness in a black core.
It´s not that easy.
Not so hard, light, heavy.

Don´t disappear.
You don´t want to disappear.
You must not disappear.
I must not disappear.

Nobodyface, nobodyface,
You have it or you don´t see it.

Breaking ice. Speaking ice.
The word is ice in your mouth.
It is ice in my ear.
An experimental text
Abel Dec 2024
Wir fallen
Gemeinsam durch schwarze Wolkenwelten.
Bis es keinen Grund mehr gibt und wir beide
Weder oben noch unten kennen.
Wenn wir durch die Wolken fliegen,
Könnte es das Ende sein.

Es gibt keinen Halt mehr.
Für keinen von uns.

Translation:
We fall
Together through black clouds
Until there is no more ground and both of us
Know neither up nor down.
When we fly through the clouds,
It could be the end.

There is no more stopping.
For neither of us
Abel Dec 2024
You gave me your headphones
So I would not be alone.

So no one would speak to me
On my way home.
Abel Dec 2024
Everything hurts, breaks my body away,
Lead it´s parts astray.

Stomp them down to dust,
Until you no longer must

Feel whole and fully sane,
Until you no longer die in vain.
Abel Dec 2024
Icarus flew too close to the sun.
A short mistake and he was done.

I flew too close to myself.
And fell like a book from a shelf.

The page that opened showed the stupid boy,
in his last moment of blinding joy.

Within me it is dark,
Only sometimes there´s a spark.

From someone flying with me,
Over an endless sea.

I wish I could have met him,
felt his sunburned skin.

Maybe then, I would have known,
That I am not alone,

When writing of the pain I dealt,
And all the hurt I felt.

Icarus like a foolish dove,
Knows how it is to love.
Abel Dec 2024
I am awake
Headphones over my ears
Blasting music into my brain
Everyone else asleep

Do I feel lonely?
No, I do not.
Because someone keeps me company
Through their distorted thoughts.
I hope anyone awake enough is enjoying some peace and quiet at the dead of night.
Abel Dec 2024
Sleeping is hard

When you are always in a dream.
When you never wake up.

I have disappeared into myself,
Into a mirror of my own.

My life disappearing into an endless void.
A void of possibility, of promise.

Why can´t I stay within my walls?
My walls of sleep.

Sleeping is hard

— The End —