They said rap didn't want me
My light skin and this bottle of gin
thats whats gon help me win
my life full its of sin  my kin are full of doubt
that aint gonna help me out
**** screaming and shouting
lyrics are what im about
expressing my feelings through words
depressing rhymes
those are my crimes
sentence me to death
let me get some **** off my chest
my dad we laid to rest
he was the ******* best

life it closes in exposing me for my sin
wishing i was thin
life hits you like a slug to the heart
the rap game im now apart
im not in this for fame
or the money
lets not be funny but
in my past i used to cut
i was stuck in a rut
i had one foot in hell
the other was in a cell

x in a coffin
there ain't nothing worse that loosing an idol
soon ill be in a hearse
listen to my verse take it in
don't just throw me to the bin
thats it im finished

Yeah you know me by PA!N
Three letters and a exclamation
That’s ***** on point
Been through some **** it my time
**** my time ain’t been to long barley seventeen years
But I’ve cried too many tears
Carrying my fears like burdens
I can’t loose my peers
Family is all I got left

They said rap didn't want me
My light skin and this bottle of gin
thats whats gon help me win
my life full its of sin  my kin are full of doubt
that aint gonna help me out
**** screaming and shouting
lyrics are what im about
expressing my feelings through words
depressing rhymes
those are my crimes
sentence me to death
let me get some **** off my chest
my dad we laid to rest
he was the ******* best

life it closes in exposing me for my sin
wishing i was thin
life hits you like a slug to the heart
the rap game im now apart
im not in this for fame
or the money
lets not be funny but
in my past i used to cut
i was stuck in a rut
i had one foot in hell
the other was in a cell

x in a coffin
there ain't nothing worse that loodsing an idol
soon ill be in a hearse
listen to my verse take it in
don't just throw me to the bin
thats it im finished

Think about you everyday
Can you even remember my name
Yeah you were my dame
Now you with someone else
Left me on the shelf
****** up my health
Wanting to **** myself
Fronting to everyone
Smile on My face

I was a moth to your flame
Losing my game
Wishing

Yeah I’m the kid that you used to bully at school for acting like a fool

Who knew that you would be looking up to me now

But ima leave you laying on the ground blood pumping out your crown

***** you are the clown at the circus we all laughing at you now

Raise your brow at me
Questioning what happened
She happened life is a *****
Brings you up just to let you fall back down

You got me trusting no one
So I gotta keep my hands curled into fists

Yeah you know me by PA!N
Three letters and a exclamation
That’s ***** on point
Been through some **** it my time
**** my time ain’t been to long barley seventeen years
But I’ve cried too many tears
Carrying my fears like burdens
I can’t loose my peers
Family is all I got left

My dad he’s dead
A couple week later I was taken in by the fed
And now Im without money to buy bread
Man ***** been going through my head
Making me wanna fill it with lead
Laying on my bed
Wrists running red
Won’t be too long until I am dead

Suicide crosses my mind
If you ******* with me you are in for a ride
My Happiness is like the tide coming and going
Feeling like I’m in a canoe rowing up ***** creek
Yeah I know I’m a freak
I can’t go a week without takin a blade to my skin
Man I’m sat here wishing I was thin
Soon I will be rushing to hang
Take a gun and bang filled my head with lead
Let them shed fake tears for me

Nothing would be better than laying in my own coffin

Sitting here wrists scarred
Legs cut, shut away
scared as the noose starts to fray
Who’s coming to help me
No one, I am left on the shelf
Alone, because my feelings are unknown, trying to keep myself to myself, smoking **** to make myself feel free, He is gone, the I **** I have done is wrong
It won’t be long until I return to my blades

**** man why am I here
....
**** looks like we doin it
yeah ..
***** they ain't no writ out for me
but I owe you
yeah I know you got me out of that hole I was diggin
I got all the people I need around me so don't come Wiggin
grew up singing em that wigga got me thru hell
...
Hell marshals the one who got me here writing this ****
so sit the **** down and listen to this white kid rapping
man I done my fair share or crime
But I'll always find time to make another rhyme
...
Yeah I was kicked out at 16
left to fend for myself
I'm ******* young but my mind is numb
actin dumb Leaving all the snakes in my rear view
the people round me be new
but who the **** are you to say boo
if only you knew where I have been
and the **** I've seen
I wouldnt wish the **** I been through on no one

Smoking dope to feel a smile on my face
Living numb
I can't ******* smile
And that **** makes me feel dumb
Leaving him cheating
What else can I do wrong
My chest is heaving
Sat here tryna be weaving these words
To try and release some hurt

Release somthing I know oh to well
the way I'm going I'm heading for rehab or worse death
Numb in the head
drugs are my butter n bread
**** looks like I'm sick in the head
Cuting myself just to feel somthing
maybe I will end up ******
Dead

while my dad is not gettin better I'm trying to get my **** wetter

my father's headin for the coffin
Im tryna get my ****** **** in

I know I'm a ******
my past is set in stone
but my future is yet to be known

yeah I'm a rapper
I love to rhyme

but it's time to wash out the black not to back to that young D but to become a brand new me

it's been a few months since he who bleeds from his wrists cut
But somthings afoot it didn't take a team to help me
be clean i did this alone

you should have know I Could do it on my own

writing raps it's me and my phone
my inspiration ain't gone its just unknown

how didnt you know I rapped
I'm not a violent guy but you **** wit me you might just get stabbed

I'm not evil knevil **** the future let's get medieval you might just get hung drawn and quartered

nah man I don't take orders the only ones I will follow are the Lords ones

Save me from the thoughts in my head
Save me before i'm dead
Save me before im filled with lead
Save me from my dread
Save me from the thoughts in my head

To move on i go back
My thoughts are wack
My mind is full of black

Being kind to the one i say love
she is a pure white dove
Making light of the darkness of my mind
Helping me to find myself

In her arms
rest the scars i put there
From when i said i didn't care
My words are never fair

Marielle hurting her is hell
Fell into her heart
Tore her apart

And now i am smiling
no more crying
but i am always lying
Thinking of dying
No longer trying to make it through
All the pain

What have i done wrong
I must stay strong
It won't be too long

What have i done wrong
I don't want to prolong the time i have left
all along i blamed myself
When it was you causing me all this pain

What have I done wrong

Ripping my arms to shreds
thoughts of suicide in my head
i am filled with dread
no one listened to what i said
a pull of a trigger and i am
DEAD

it was my birthday 26/03 i should have been happy
But i was feeling ******
Being snappy
feeling like ****
It is natural
for me

I am broken
But I still smile
I am still kind of heart
And yes i am smart
We may be apart
But i still look out for you
Don't come and **** my mood
And yeah im more than a little lewd
And i will always be belittled
But i could give a ****
I'm going to live life to the fullest
Grow old with a beautiful wife
And please know that you can't snow on my parade
At times i have strayed from the path
Of righteousness
And yeah i am a psychopath
And you don't want to feel my
WRATH

I use my writings to cope
But i am sliding down this ***** of
Depression
Getting worse
Thoughts of that rope
Tied in a noose
To bleed away my youth
And that's the truth

but when i need you the most
You are nothing but a ghost
If you are ever down i do
The utmost to be there for you

You the one who is never there
for me


I see the tree
i planned to tie that rope to
That rope tied in a noose

You made me feel so used and abused
You whose initials are signed on my skin
But i will not let you win

Laying in my bed
Praying for help

The voices in my head
Telling me to Die

Thoughts of suicide
Revolving rotating in my mind

Try my best to be kind to
everyone i meet

But i'm just some ofbeat
*******

Hit my walls with my fists
till i bleed

Blood dripping from my knuckles

I buckle under all this strain and pressure
Try to forget
But there's always a refresher
I treasure the few i have left

Dug my grave
Go to a rave
Have some fun
Find my gun
I am done
The end has begun
My mind is overrun
without my loved one
I no longer find fun
I ponder
if
Tomorrow will ever come

Its me the one who bleeds
From his wrists
Sweet bliss


Don't try to diss me
Your rhymes are ****
done some crimes
and i paid my time

when i wanna die
I turn to rhymes
And i will climb up
up To the top

No matter how many times i drop
I will just pop another pill

Don't try me
I will **** you
spill your guts
With zero *****
You can try to duck
but my left hook
Will ******* up

I will never grow up
Wont blow up
time to throw up My last meal
yeah that's the ******* deal
It's just how i feel

I am angry
People shouting at me
why the **** are you doubting me
and outing me

And i don't want to eat my ******* meal
I no longer want to feel

THis **** got real
and its no big deal
That i don't appeal to you

I will not conceal
How i feel
and i know i am no big deal

no longer will i kneel to you
Get on your ******* knees and **** the cheese from my burmese
And i dont give a **** about your crews


And i will pleasure
Your ***** without measure
That **** for me is just leisure

This don't mean ****
I'm just having a seizure with a pen
Spazzing without you

I make do with what i have
i am no wordsmith
But i aint a ******* myth
Drink a fifth of *****

Tell my momma i love her
Before i throw her off a balcony

Why do i cry
Tears falling from my eye
When they clear
I must smile

Laughing in the night
Fight the days away
Gaze at my life
Take a knife
Make a incision
Look to religion
Turn to god

Pray on my knees
Freeze look up to the sky
And i get no
Reply

My legs are dangling off the edge
Of this ledge
But i made a pledge to her
That i will no longer take this razors edge to my wrist
It's hard, but i insist i will not upset her
I am in her debt
I look at my arms and i can not forget
Made a promise i will not let her down
Will no longer wear a frown
No more feeling down
I have been around And i have been knocked down
And no you don't know what it's like
You haven't walked 10,000 miles in my shoes