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If I was a mountain

That soared towards the sky,

With craggy snow caps

And stormy grey eyes-



Then you'd be the clouds

That swaddled my peak,

That silenced my thunder

When I tried to speak.



If I was the earth

The desert, in fact:

With arid dry soil

And mud, baked and cracked-



You'd be the rain

The downpour that soothed;

The balm to my bruises,

Relief to my wounds.



If I was the Moon

In the indigo night,

With stars as my blanket

And silver; my light-



Well you'd be the Sun

Just always behind

That lent me your glow

And caused me to shine.
You may have died young,
        but as long as
        my words live,

*You will never grow old.
There is a little girl
That rests in my bones
Inhabits
My soul
Hides within me
Peaks out through the cracks of my ribcage
And
Every so often
Reminds me
Who I am
I call myself woman
Now and then
Give my body to men
Who promise me fleeting moments of attention
I live in routine
Put on the charade that is adulthood
I almost forget sometimes
That I am not grown
That most of it is false
A cover
I hide under the covers at night
And still fear the dark
Conquer it with a glowing light shaped like a rubber duck
I sleep alone
But the pillow of my late dog besides my head
Keeps me safe
I am a person of habit
Afraid that if I alter the slightest details
More than just the content of my sandwiches will change
Change has never been a close friend of mine
I know him just well enough
To invite him in
But his arrival always seems to come
When I least expect it
I still cry
When I get overwhelmed
And the thought of unfamiliar hands
Makes me shudder
I am still learning
How to trust
When I had always been taught
To not believe everything you are told
I've recently realized
That soon enough
I'll have to confront the reality that is life
So for now
I'm choosing to protect
The little girl within me
Wrap my arms around her innocence
Shelter her from the hurricane like storms
From those who have come to knock her down
I'm choosing
To hold on to her
For my greatest fear of all
Is letting go.
I see people struggling with
depression
anxiety
suicidal feelings

I want to help
hug them
or listen when they rant
and I try
but I can't understand

what does it feel like
to not be able to breathe because the walls are closing in on you?
what does it feel like
to want to leave this world with a bang, or a cut, or a pill?

I don't know
but I give you a hug
and let you talk

I've never felt that way
all I can think is that
I wouldn't be able to stand it
but somehow you do
and you are so brave
Meh. Not very good, I'll probably edit this later. I'm not experienced in writing, so I'm trying to just get it out there, to get used to the feeling.
It started with fun nights and stopless laughter.
It started with sweet kisses in our blanket fort, warmed by the lights hanging above us and surrounded by the soft music repeatedly mumbling love words.

It faded into talking less and only hours within 2 weeks of seeing each other, but that didn't bother us.
It should have.
It faded into ignoring each other's texts and hiding from words that start with L, hopelessly wishing that the initial spark would hold up a house of cards instead of burning it down.

It is presently a mutual relationship of two acquaintances who act like they don't know what to do with their freed hands hanging loosely instead of being held.
It is presenty an awkward time for me. Where I don't want you, but I miss you, or the things you used to represent at least, like passion and things that aren't supposed to be.

Key words: aren't supposed to be.
The bell tolls their stomachs full yet with room for their blasphemy.
escorted to the jungle preparing themselves for the adventure ahead.
this land was governed by no man or woman no king or queen could house this hell.
only  the chime of the bell could chill this hell. they march past the pit with bodies buried
limbs covered, caked with earth from a pasts day.
Out of the corner of their eyes small hands and fingers slide through the cage bars
pleading for someone's attention. Challenged to cross a path with no floor torso
strength is only matched by the hunger to explore. legs kicked forward head leaned
back the chain leather clash propels you into the sky to give the user a taste of eagle
eyes. in the calamity of it all the chime of the bell renews the law. the kings, queens, cowboys,
astronauts rise from the dead brush off their shoulders brush off their head.
they march back battered and tame. what a masterpiece of a game. agreed
everyone feels the same. The romance with recess is a thought powered love game.
I've never been one for the proper punctuation so don't hate me.
if i had a million dollars for every smile you gave me i still wouldn't have enough
to out weigh the way you made me.
if every second you've made me smile was a year in the past id let you know how god made us and how to make it last.
a lot of ifs but no buts no woulds's or shoulda's just a Skype call, a text, a crafted speedy fall.
they say you can't buy happiness but id like to say their wrong a four hundred thirty seven dollar plane ride
can take me home. I close my eyes i can see so many beautiful things clouds, flowers, diamond rings
that are all complaining that their beauty is devoured, more so conquered by what you bring, the little things.
little things that get me to sing when no one is around. to give me this goofy smile to bare around town.
to sum things up i think i might possibly perhaps maybe have found the one person who has kept my head in the
clouds as has never let me feet hit the ground. shes imprinted in my skin this inst the end we stay as golden as possible
as we both dive deeper in.
long distance relationships blow
250 milligrams of the **** you wish you never said,
laced with sorry's and thoughts of what do we do now's
creep unwanted into our bed.
Don't forget to take it with your 100 milligrams of anger.
That finds home in all the places inside, that you realize you cant tame her.
After that we switch to the heavier stuff ; YEAH! 150 milligrams
of all your secrets and ******* bluffs.
With another 250 milligram dose of all the **** you thought you held close.
all the laughs shared, the tears bared, the constant struggle to always stay
near and dear.
With this final pill i'm addicted to the prescription you made me fill
the last 250 milligrams is human will.
The will to give it a shot. It's a scary high but there i lay with arms held high
waiting for every part of life that your not in to pass me by.
1000 milligrams is all it took for me to be hooked. a ****** or a druggie,
either way i crave from you to love me. so I'll fill my prescription and hope
that the high me reminds you that the sober me still wishes that the love we share
doesn't float away with the high that I'm on. Be my anchor, keep me tied down
with the chemical that we made. The one that tells our brains that our hearts
can truly feel. Without the fall back of 1000 milligram prescription of pills
i was addicted to drugs around the same time i was addicted to a girl
lay with me
sit with me
be with me
keep surprising me with how sweet you can be
coagulate in my veins to give me a medical diagnosis for my sporadic heart pains. Help me bleach the bloodstains from the dry wall where my head bangs. Weld yourself to what i labeled my imprisoning chains.why link yourself to a situation where you drown when i sink? what would your last thought be as your last speck of oxygen bubbles to the top. would you pray you should of stopped?
would you wish to go back to bleed me of every drop, of time, memories, late nights, and spared enemies?
to save yourself from the consumption of the only path I've got.
my dearest, sweetest treasure how can you muster up the will to love me for worse or better?
that's not to clever.
pass on this endeavor.
you always could do better.
you march so strong through all changes of weather. yet i crumble with the lightest of feathers.
feathers from a bird of life and change.
your hugs say be tough but your eyes tear up as if you feel the same.
i hate when you cry more then our frequent goodbyes.
distraught by the question "Why oh ******* why stand steady by my ignorant side?"
"Don't ask why" you reply as you wipe the last tear from my right eye.
A father's place is by his son's side even after the day he dies. I love to love you for worse or better march so strong through any weather.
two birds of life and change flock together.
unconditional love
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