It all began in dance class
When I first felt small
Standing in the back of the lines
Where no one could see me at all

Fast forward to middle school
Where the girls who looked like me
Were never the topic of conversation
Like I always dreamt to be

Even when highschool rolled around
It was still never about me
Always some other fair skinned beaut
Who i’d constantly compared to thee

And when I finally did steal a heart
Guess how it began and ended?
Another girl came into the picture
Which whom I had to contend with

My history of love & relationships
Definitely isn’t one for the books
Just painful memories I try to wash away
Because I never had “the look”

That’s the reason I’m always triggered
Because all my life I’ve had to compete
I just want someone to look at me and think
“**** my life is finally complete.”

I blame myself for not being enough
Within my voids, you found her to fill
And now she owns half of your heart
To know the truth, ******* kills

Does she love you better than I do?
Does she make you feel brand new?
Does she make you feel electric?
Or give you a feeling you don’t wanna lose?

When you tell her “I love you”
And when she tells you it back
Is that what you’ve been missing?
Has she been picking up my slack?

Every day without me
Is another day with her
Maybe not psychically
But enough for you to lure

My mind is my worst enemy
It constantly mocks me of the pain
And where I went wrong along the way
It drives me ******* insane

I can’t ever forgive myself
For not loving you properly
I ruin the all the things I love
So why does this come as a shock to me?

Can you still feel the magic?
Or is it beginning to feel more tragic?
Do you feel like things have changed?
Which one of us should take the blame?

I know you’re tired of being the bad guy
Just as i am tired of all the lies
You’re not to blame for it all, I’m no saint
Even though that’s the picture I try to paint

Some may say we were doomed from the start
Maybe you would since you warned me, we’d part
For what it’s worth, we were in love and baby it was real
I just wish we got it right, I wish we sealed the deal

Once upon a time we were innocent kids
Bright eyes and happy with clean fresh slates
I’d do anything to make up for what I did
But unfortunately I cannot chose my fate

It still hurts me
Still hurts to this day
I’m trying my ******* hardest
But the pain won’t go away

I still can’t help but think
How for a moment you thought it was ok
Did you even consider my feelings?
Or at least the price you’d have to pay?

Crazy, I’d never hurt you like this
I hope you really enjoyed the head
I may’ve made a “mistake” while we were apart
But you made one while we slept in the same bed

I owe it to myself to be happy
You did say it’s something you regret
No matter how much I love you
I can forgive you but I just can’t forget

The rain came at a perfect time
We’re mourning the loss of my heart
It all just happened yesterday
So let me use this for my art

I wish this wasn’t my reality
But unfortunately I’m wide awake
No matter how hard I pinch myself
I’m forced to accept it’s not fake

That **** you did
What I never thought you do
I thought I’d **** up like this
But I was wrong cuz turns out it’s you

To know you’ve just been touched
By someone other than me
Honestly hits me in my soul
Because you couldn’t just wait patiently?

It was only a few days apart
How badly was the desire?
I thought she was “******” girl
But clearly you’re a ******* liar

I hate that this is my life
And now I’m forced to face it
No matter how much I wasn’t ready
Maybe we just should call it quits

Those words, together **** me
Its a hard pill to swallow
But I don’t know what else to do
I guess I’ll move on and just wallow

Lie to me gently
Tell me everything I want to hear
I know that you love me
But some things aren’t so clear

How deep is your love
Would the ocean be jealous?
Because that’s what I want
For you to be nuts like a citellus

Seems like it’s just me
And you’ve begun to stray
I mean we’re not together
But when has that ever gotten in the way?

I can’t do this anymore
I can’t take anymore pain
Why’d you say you love me
When I’m just the one to blame?

Each day that goes by I realize
It’s one less than I had before
Especially every time I get high
It hits me even deeper to my core

One day our lease will end
But will we still be together?
Or whatever I make believe and pretend
Just to try to make myself feel better

Crazy to think that you’re still here
When you could’ve left ages ago
But we’ve had one wild *** year
I’m so thankful, I hope you know

For staying when you wanted to leave,
And putting up with my constant memory loss
Because you knew all I would do is grieve
And this is one relationship that I can’t toss

I know you can still thrive without me
I guess I should learn to do the same
I’m the only one who can set me free
If I can’t  you’ll be the last to blame

I hope the story of us continues
And we gain a lot more chapters
I wish God could give me a preview
I still want that happily ever after..