His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.

Everyday

I become a little more you
And a little less me
Picking up bits and pieces
Until I lose myself completely

Silence speaks louder than words
You’re silence is screaming
Echoing inside my brain
“Your not good enough”

You can stop talking
I understand
I hear your silence
Loud and clear

Before I met you

There were spaces in my head
Even my demons were scared to touch

There were parts of me so cold
Even the sun couldn’t warm

There was a side so dark
Even the stars couldn’t illuminate

You were never scared to crawl in my head, warm my heart, and light up my darkness.