when someone is hurting I want to help them
heal.

I want to be close to them and hug them,
I will give them all my attention
I will listen to all their problems
and give all the advice with the best intention

But when it comes to me
no one will give me their time
no one will listen to me
no one will give me a good advice

Someone help me I think I have a problem

I care too much...

I feel like a phone that has been used all day,
Until it's breaking Point
like it has reached its lowest battery percentage,
until its dead
I feel emotionally drained.

I give i,-I give, and I give
until I've given my everything.
Until the end I feel like no one cares about
giving me a single thing, I feel used and ignored
and when lm Finally recharged Im being picked up
again...

I used to think about you
almost every day,
there wasn't one thing that
didn't remind me of you,
but now there's nothing that
longs to the though of us,
of your name.

It's not that I've forgotten you, but I no longer
hang by you, or your memories with me;
maybe because I've found someone
to replace you;
to forget there
was ever a thought
of you.

So why haven’t I acted upon it and get the body of my dreams? The truth is I have, I am, and I  constantly fail because I am filled with fear and doubt. I constantly doubt myself and tell myself that it will never happen. There’s some part of my brain that tells me that I am not capable of it because I don’t deserve it. Why? I don’t know.

I fear change and the thought of going through painful experiences crushes my confidence and faith that I have in myself.

I want to be able to look in the mirror and not look at what I'm insecure about. I want to be able to look at my body with love and not hate what I see. I want to be confident in myself. I want to be able to walk in a store and not have a mental breakdown when all I see is the tag that says “Small” and be able to hold back my tears. I want to be able to say out loud how much I weigh without feeling ashamed or guilty. I want to be proud of myself, I want to be happy with how I look without having to pretend like it’s ok that I look like this.

Everyone encourages you to be happy with the way you look,
why should someone encourage you to be satisfied with what you have
when what you are is unhealthy and lazy with no motivation whatsoever

I constantly thinking of you,
I picture your beautiful eyes watching mine.
I imagine what it would feel like to be in your arms.
Im falling in love with you, but I'm drowning,

in my doubt, in my self-sabotage
that you don't love me.

This distance between us kills me,
I'm trying to hold on, I want to believe that you want me but
the way you act sometimes pulls in  this wave of rejection and fear
and everything comes crashing down in my face.