I am not a victim
Of your broken glass
And I wonder how much more girls
You're going to harass

There's something
I want you to know
Pretty face and an ugly heart
Don't make a home

You spent days
Making me sure that I'm a sinner
But when they reward for the lies,
Honey, you're the winner

You like playing the "victim"
After bringing up the storm
You pulled me, twisted my arm
You meant no harm??

How easy is it for you
To be so disgusting?
All your filthy words
Are meaningless and rusting

In a way, I'm glad
That you're not mine
Who likes to keep wicked trash
Even for a dime?

Tick Tock
I can't help it

Tick Tock
I can't help that when I am alone
I see you with her

Tick Tock
All the seconds I see you kissing her
When you promised me
Forever

Tick Tock
I can't tell you how I feel
But the seconds keep going by.
And every second that goes by

Tick Tock
I feel like I never even had you to begin with

Tick Tock
You run off to her.
Because she keeps your bed warm at night

Tick Tock
You think I don't know

Tick Tock
But when you kiss me
When you hug me

Tick Tock
I know it isn't for me anymore
She won
I lost

Tick Tock
And now I have nothing
But empty sheets
And a gun
That promises sanity

Click

Who have I become, I don’t like this version of myself, the version of myself that you have pushed me to become.
We spoke 24/7 let me say that again 24/7… twenty-four hours seven days a week for nearly a year and then it just stopped.
Did you get bored?
Did you finally have enough of messing with the feelings of a girl who was completely and hopelessly devoted to you.
You moved on and I hated you for it. I hated you because I was still completely and hopelessly devoted to you, I still had hope that it was all a bad dream and I would wake up to sunshine and glow instead of the clouds of grey that now “shine” over my life.
I saw you for the first time the other day since, well since, that day when time stopped and I stopped dead in my tracks when I got the message “this girl I’m seeing.”
Those four words tore me and I could feel the physical pain of heartbreak. That’s when everything changed, I became a person that I look at in the mirror and don’t feel anything towards.
I used to look every morning and hope.
People have an ideology about hope that it looks and makes you look beautiful and youthful, almost innocent, but hope as far as I’m concerned can go and take a hike.
Hope was the shackles that caged me from being the true me. Now I said at the beginning that I don’t like this version of myself.
This is still true but I’ve grown comfortable with being her and that ones on you.

Let the record stand I wanted only happiness.
I dreamed of a job I could enjoy
A lovely woman to warm my bed and heart
And a circle of family and friends to laugh and confide with
THAT IS ******* IT
And every time I had even a taste of that life
Or even one of those wishes
I was set
I was happier than the richest of the rich
And every time I felt complete
Something was taken from me
Something was ripped from my grasp
And in front of my face
It was dragged away
I dare anyone call me bitter, or selfish
After everything that’s happened
Call me petty
Call me ungrateful
(If I’m selfish, what does that make you?)
I assure you, I don’t enjoy hating myself
There is some evil I deserve I’m sure, but this is ridiculous
Lucky for me, I’m running out of things to lose
The more I try to do things right,
The more they go wrong
I know I’m to blame for most of my setbacks
But I’ll be god ****** if you try to tell me
It’s my fault every time life threw me a pile of ****
And dares me to walk through it
There’s no way you can say every hardship
Every godlike punishment
Every painful wild card
Can somehow be traced to something I did, or didn’t do
I ain’t buying it
And I’ll be god ******
If I’m gonna beg for anyone else’s attention or love again
I just don’t have it in me anymore
Why is every choice I make the wrong one?
If I seem distant
It’s because too much has been pulled from me
By too many who didn’t deserve or appreciate it
What’s left is hidden deep
Locked far, far away.
In fact I’ve hidden it so well
I forgot where I put it
I’d love to shake this angst away
But I’m afraid if I pulled it off now
My skin would go with it
It is what it is, loneliness is a *******
It’s getting harder and harder to hide it
Tell me I’m not lonely, and I’ll tell you a better lie
(Tell me it gets better, even if it is a lie)

I never had real friends I had fake friends that are not always available when I need them but are available when they need something from me I never had real friends but I had fake friends who will knock me over when ever their tongues felt like it and then random strangers would come up to me and tell me are you sure these people are your friends I never had real friends I had fake friend who think I would downgrade them but really my intentions are as clear as water I just attract my opposite kind of people and drag them upwards to reach the stars where they would drag me aside away from them accomplishments.