This ache in my chest it's like never before
My head is a mess and you've opened a door
My life isn't perfect but now there's a sore
You've done so much damage like I've never seen
There's tears in my eyes and I just want to scream
You go from forever's to no in between's
If my life was a movie, then this is a death scene
I want to be mad but I can only cry
You told me you loved me
But that was a lie
This ache in my chest is like never before
Why the **** did you leave
and not close the door?

I wish you'd never let me love you
I wish you'd kept your edges sharp and mean
I wish you'd never relied on me for comfort
I wish you'd never told me your hopes
I wish you hadn't  talked about our future
I wish you'd never made me laugh
I wish you'd never made me happy
I wish you'd never let me see the good parts of you
I wish I'd never become someone you leaned on
I wish you'd never let my name pass your lips
I wish you'd never become someone I leaned on
I wish you'd never become the good morning text I was waiting for
I wish you hadn't made my life shine
I wish you hadn't become my forever
I wish you'd never let me love you

My mouth is a desert,
coarse
and
dry
My hands are lightning,
shaking
and
buzzing
My heart is a thunderstorm
pounding inside my chest
Trying to be heard above the noise in my head
I am choking on my words,
suffocating beneath the storm...
"Sorry, what did you say?"
I can not hear you over the storm raging inside of me

I question everything when I'm with you
Is the sky even blue?
Can my heart break in two?
Was I meant for you?
Oh, what should I do?
I question everything....when I'm with you

Now I wonder what to do
with all this love I have for you
Because it would never do
to give it all to you

Perfectly placed memories
On perfectly pale arms
In red rivers of sorrow and secrets
Forever felt with tingling fingertips
Over rough ridges of regret
Am I perfect yet?

We are all such beautiful ******* disasters

What I love the most about you are your imperfections. The huge smile that you never let many see. Your large bottom lip that makes kissing you even better. The way your eyes are slightly different sizes. The crazy curls that you never try to tame no matter how many times I ask. Your nose you hate so much but I love how you drag it across my neck as you kiss me. I love all your freckles and your scars and you. I love you with every single imperfection that makes me love you even more.

Poems and words and writings on my walls.
Sayings and songs that to some mean nothing at all.
But to me, they are each a punch in the gut.
A soothing calm to the burns of life.
They are my thoughts and feelings, my fears and desires.
They are me

Everyone is born with a lock on their heart and a key in their hand. But my lock was broken. No one could fit their key in, for my lock had been damaged as a little girl and the key I was given had been misshapen. Until you came along, your own key and lock had been broken many times as a child and somehow the exact dent that had made it impossible for you to find a fit had slipped perfectly between my ******* and clicked. Unlocking something I never thought would unlock. And my key, a key that had only been used once before without success fit inside your lock with a click as well. Each lock opening to show emotions we had kept so tightly closed. And as I looked into your eyes, each other's hearts open on display, I realized that maybe our "damaged goods" are only damaged to the wrong people. Because for each other we were the exact fit we needed.

After being cold for so long, I'm not sure how to handle your heat

In you, I found my forever

Life is constructed of what ifs, maybes and somedays. But somehow I stopped looking at those when I was with you. Instead I saw the wills, and cans and future. I saw a world of possibilities instead of a world of regrets

We are more than friends, but less than a commitment. We are stolen moments and whispered secrets. We speak in futures and I love you's. Somedays and maybes. Our hearts have accepted each other. But you have yet to accept a label.

Play my body like you play guitar
Strum me softly with your calloused fingers
Watch my body move with your rhythm
Make me hum with your love
Turn me into your beautiful masterpiece

This nickname that so many use. Nothing special, four letters, one syllable. How can one word mean so much to so many people? How can one word bring on a horde of butterflies from you and nausea from someone else? What made you so special in my mind that you were the only one who was allowed to say it? A simple word, yet filled with so much meaning. Two syllables that are filled with so many memories between each letter. Such love and despair and heartbreak all in one word. No, it is not I Love You that makes my world fall apart when you say it. It is the simple word Babe.

15 years old, laying in a bed about to give a first to a boy she will never love
15 years old, large rough hands tangled in her dark hair as harsh lips meet hers
15 years old, thinking about a boy with chocolate eyes while curled against another
15 years old, he calls her "babe" and she cringes for that nickname should only roll off another's tongue
15 years old, he asks for more than she wants to give him
How can a 15 year old love a boy who doesn't hold her heart?
How can a 15 year old love a boy who took her heart and destroyed it?
How can a 15 year old know what love even is?

The cold it numbs, but the memories last
The shackles that hold me grow tighter with each breath
But freedom it seems I just cannot grasp
Seconds seem like hours
Hours seem like years
and time itself I seem to have lost
For fear keeps me chained,
and darkness steals what little light is left in the world

A steel paintbrush in hand, my canvas lays on my thigh.
One cut, two cut, three cut, four.
I've already started I might as well do more.
Paint on my arm, paint on my thighs. This feeling that it gives me is better than a high.
Painting to show the scars buried deep,
painting to show the secrets that I keep.
Painting to show the pain I hide well. Painting to show my final farewell.

How can you make me feel so alive and warm and the next moment make me feel so dead?
How can you give me everything and take it all away and leave me so empty?  
How can one bring so much happiness and despair all in one breath?