No matter where I am
No matter the time of day
No matter who I am with

I am lost

No matter what they say
No matter what they believe
No matter what they know

I am lost

No matter how I try
No matter what I do
No matter who I try to be

I am lost

Lost in a crowd
Lost in a family
Lost in a world of people
Lost in my own mind

I am lost

even if you don't mean it,
hold my hand.
for i deserve happiness as much as the next.
we all do.
this life of pain and mind wired that the universe is in fact not on our side.
we need to breathe.
hand in hand,
i want to believe we can do this.
i told myself i would wait until december,
then came april and i couldn't leave before your birthday,
and this series of events is making me want to stay for september.
so even if you want to let go,
let me go in september.
i'll be okay by then.
read my words and forget the pain that was woven into my skin.
but stay with me,
we will smell every acacia in the world and the sun won't feel like a stick poking our side.
we will smile comfortably without doubting.
so hold my hand and lets wait.

My best friend told me I’m in love with love
At first I didn’t think anything of it
But now I see it
I really am in love with the concept and everything that comes with it

This isn’t a good thing
Matter of fact it’s the complete opposite
Just the thought of having someone to always talk to and even go on dates or just cuddle sounds great
But at the same time I feel weird about it all

Having someone depending on me
Someone who isn’t my parents or friends isn’t something I like so much
In the movies it seems all great
Probably because it isn’t me or romantic movies are hardly ever accurate

I get so wrapped up in a fantasy
By fitting into the idea of what I want in a partner
So then I could mark all the checks on the list

The dark is me refuge
Even though the dark is where many bad things happen

People love in the dark

People hurt in the dark

But the dark is still my home

The dark is where some people do harsh things

Some people smoke in the dark

Some people **** in the dark

Some people steal in the dark

But the dark is still my home
Why?
Because no one can see me break down in the dark
Because when everyone else abandoned me
The dark held me in it's arms

Because even though people hurt me in the dark
It was still there for me more than anyone or anything else

So the dark is my home

The sea is resting now
after a long day
gnawing at the edge
churning in deep hollows
ever so slowly eroding
this peaceful coast

Sand is the issue
of this marriage
sea and sky
combining to
make the land large
in its retreat

A handful of sand
to the winds
my life
to these tides