Lying on this bed
With you sleeping in my arms
On a quiet dawn

People often ask
If dreams do come true
If fantasies become reality
If love comes to the loveless
I can’t help but feel
That the dreams that I dream
And the fantasies that I have
Stands before me right now

I tried to stop it
These budding emotions
I tried to deny it
The truth being unveiled
I tried to fight it
The gravity pulling me towards you
But I can’t help it
Falling in love, deeply with you

The world told me it’s wrong
The world told me to move along
The world told me you’re not worthy
And that the wait will **** me
But there I prayed
And waited for the day
When you can stay by my side
In all my days and all my nights

It’s you who keeps me falling
Pulling me closer to your core
Your gravity inescapable for me
As I live under your various colors
It’s you whom I choose
The one destined by fate
To be the love that makes me feel alive
To make me see the beauty of life

You make the wrong feel right
You make the worst feel alright
No matter where I may go
Your love follows me
Even through all that melancholy
That Life brought to me
You made all the sadness that I felt
A worthy sacrifice for what came next

It’s you who brings me light
Even in the darkest of nights
It’s your smile that gives me strength
To overcome the barriers of life
How blessed am I to be yours
To be within your warm embrace
How thrilled am I to fall deeper in love
With each smile and frown you display

I long to stay in your embrace
Because in you I find my comfort
I long to be yours for all my life
To be the sweetest reality of your life
As you are to mine
And in all the twists and turns
That life brings to us
I’ll never let go and I’ll always say

I love you
With all my heart
No matter what surprise Life brings
You’re the only right thing
In my wretched life
And if I have to choose
All over again
It will always be you

Until when will I wait?
Until when will I suffer?
Until when will I long?
Until when will I seek?

Until when should I lock myself up?
Until when will I long for the warmth?
Until when should I feel dead inside?
Until when should I walk alone in this life?

Until when should my heart be hard as stone?
Until when do I have to wait for someone to chisel it?
Until when will the winter of my life last?
Until when do I stay just to see you at last?

Until when do I have to suffer lonely nights?
Until when will I wake up in a cold, empty bed?
Until when will I feel anxious about a single's lifetime?
Until when will I fear connecting to someone else's life?

Until when do we have to wait?
Until when do we have to suffer?
Until when 'til I see your face?
Until when 'til I hold your hands?

Until when do I just see you in my dreams?
Until when 'til I see you in my reality?
Until when 'til we finally meet?
Until when 'til we passionately love?

Until when will I be alone?
Until when will I be isolated?
Until when will my emotions be suppressed?
Until when 'til I finally bask in your embrace?

I am stuck here..

Waiting for you..

Are you stuck somewhere else too?

If so, then tell me how to find you..

And if Fate blesses this search..

If the gods open the path which leads to you..

I'll never ever let go of you..

So tell me..

Until when 'til I find you?

My life in shades of gray
Of black and of white
This heart just pumping blood
No adrenaline nor thrill in life
No color in this stagnant art
No purpose in this senseless wandering
Switching destinations on a whim
Seeking warmth from those without it

Eyes grow souless
With each passing day
Mind feels wistful
With each passing thought
The youthful passion
Fading into nothingness
The fiery emotions
Slowly burning out

The enthusiasm of a young man
Crushed in the grip of reality
The loveless heart
Growing tired and weary
Everything feels cold
A long and harsh winter
In a young and untested life
A struggle just to feel alive

I am tired
I am weary
A stagnant pond
Seeking a ripple in my life
A chance to feel
And to turn my life around
From the gloomy colors of grey
Black and white
To a masterpiece of thrill
Of passion
Of love
And warmth
As colorful
As a kaleidoscope
With all these emotions
Flooding out
Trinkling down
Flowing and moving
Like a flooded stream
Connecting to people
Linking to hearts
No longer stuck here
No longer alone
Together with others
Just feeling alive
Just embracing Life

Take my hand
Let's take the plunge
Let go of the fears
Get rid of the anxieties
Just take the risk
Just once in your life
I'm with you to the end
Just hold my hand

What started out
As a swipe at chance
As a gamble of hearts
As a game of fears
And a reckless risk
May turn out to be
The greatest adventure
In our young, hopeless lives

Eyes on me
Oh dearest sweet
My eyes on you
For all this time
My heart for you
No matter what
My love is yours
Until the end of our lives

I was made for you
And you for me
Even if I burn in your passion
And you stung by my thorns
I am yours
And you are mine
To love and keep
'Til our days are numbered

As we grow old and gray
And wrinkles streak on our faces
I may forget you in my mind
But always you will stay in my heart
And 'til our adventure comes to a close
Even if hell freezes over
My love for you stays
Immortalized in my heart

I am yours forever
And you are mine
I was made for you
And you for me
I'll stay with you 'til the end
Until the day I hold my last breath

Did you ever have that one great love,
That no matter how long since it ended,
No matter how much the sceneries changed,
No matter how many slept on your bed,
And spent with you the most happiest times,
No matter how much kisses they gave you,
And no matter how much you spent your life with them

They can't ever replace nor fill up that vacuum in your heart
That you gained when that one great love left?

That no matter how much you try to move on,
You spent a large chunk of your life
Just trying to get over her?

That no matter how much the others say 'I love you',
It still feels entirely different when she said them to you?

That no matter how much you try to look for someone else,
You can't just help it and end up missing her badly?

That no matter how much you try to be happy in life,
The grief and memories in your heart outweighs it all?

That whenever you try to meet someone new,
You can't help but seek her person in those other people?

That in every failed relationship you have
You always think about what would have been with her?

I have..

And I'm still trying to get over her,
Years after she left.

The happiness she now has equates to the misery I felt all those years of missing her..

I'll move on..

Eventually..

Probably..?

I just don't know when..

The pavement was drenched by that long, August rain
As jeepneys swerved by and people were rushing
Under a small umbrella we hurried to catch the train,
As the wind grew colder and harsher that evening.

As we walked towards the station our hands glued tight
Those small, soft hands that laced around mine
And even though you kept ranting about that terrible night
It became an unforgettable memory  in this heart of mine

That short train ride probably felt like the shortest ever
As if time flew quickly and you suddenly said your goodbye
Leaving me to travel alone pondering about the feelings at play
And it struck, that sudden realization, that left me to my sighs

These growing emotions kept growing, keeping me up at night
Heart beats uncontrolled and erratic whenever you come around
It annoys me that in your smile I find unending delight
And in my love struck mind your voice sweetly resounds

Each and every day I tried to avoid confronting them
You see me as a friend, so its a no, a big taboo
But a heart never ceases to yearn, no matter how you stop it
And in my case, I seek only to be loved by you

How everything would go, how far these emotions may take me
I can only watch from here, hoping and praying it will go my way
But as he comes along, your eyes set on him, it won't be easy
The only assurance I hold on to is that you would choose to stay

I'll try to assure myself with those calming, bewitching eyes
And I guess I'll hold on to your sweetest, merriest smile
Even if in truth, I deceive myself with those sweet, yet deadly lies
And that my fantasies and reality might never get reconciled

Love is a strange yet complicated feeling
When you yearn what's not yours, every fiber in you rebels
Even when you sacrifice your all and give up everything
The ones nearest to your heart, sting like pins and needles

But it also gives wisdom, helping young hearts grow
Love teaches vigilance even when everything hurts
It leaves us questioning, yet giving what we need most to know
That it is unquenchable passion and sacrifice for everything it's worth

So, here I stand, waiting for the next train to stop by,
heading to destinations unknown, meeting the strangest people
hoping that someday I'll meet you somewhere under a raining sky
Not as friends, but as lovers, perfectly-suited, yet an imperfectly human couple.

(February 12, 2015, 2:21am)