I've been treading this life
One step at a time
Drifting with its flow
Taking me to where it goes
Slowly counting days go by
Wandering here and there
Seeing the world in all its beauty
Seeking a home for my soul

I've seen a lot of these
I've heard a lot of those
I've been gone to places
I only used to dream about
And yet as all of the world
Is within my very reach
Why does this young heart
Feel so empty and weary?

Here I am at a crossroads
Stuck at where Life took me
Where should I really be?
Am I even meant to stay?
Or should I just run away?
But If I run and flee again
I'm meant to stay alone
And then I suddenly realized

I want love
I need it so
As bad as oxygen
As precious as gold
Someone to hold tight
'Til my days grow old
Someone that ignites my fiery passion
And gently calms my mellow soul

A companion in this lonely road
And someone to drift with
Looking for the perfect home
Waiting still at this crossroad
Where could she be right now?
What does she do with her life?
Could she be stuck at another road
Or could she also be waiting for me?

I miss her
I long for her
I love her
Even though she's not here yet
I haven't seen her face
Nor touched her hands
Our paths haven't crossed yet
And yet she affects me greatly

Hurry it up, sweet destiny
Bring me to her
Let me flow to the path
That leads to her side
Let me gaze upon her serene face
That eludes me even in my dreams
Hurry it up, sweet destiny
Though I wait patiently, I'm losing myself

I know she longs for me as well
I know she's gonna love me like hell
And when our roads finally meet
She'll hug me tight and kiss me sweet
So please remove the veil that hides
Open the path to her loving arms
Because no matter how hard it is
No matter how long it will take
Whatever hardships I face along the way
She's definitely the home that's worth the wait

Its always been the same old story everyday,
The looping routine like movie scenes on replay,
Everything feels bland, dull and uninteresting,
God, I just wish for a change so thrilling.

It's always the same mistake
In every second, every minute actions I make
Everything has been controlled by anxiety
I wondered, when will my fears vanish and make things confidently.

This solitary life is a mess I want to flee
To leave it all behind, someone please take me
I'm left standing at a crossroads, waiting for that twist
Regardless of how long, for someone I don't want to miss

But seems I was blinded coz I can't see the light,
Or was I just looking for someone without noticing my might?
Standing in the rainy plains where the sky is gloom,
While hoping for someone to reach my hand in a place where I could be doomed

I hope to find you soon, pull you out of that dreaded fate
I'll be the one to quench your thirst, I hope I'm not too late
Someday we'll be together proud shouting each others names
And feels euphoria that we found each other in flames

This world is twisted
That's a proven fact
No need to elaborate
Just listen to the news
Watch internet content
Listen to today's music
Where everything is sexualized
Killing people almost everyday
Almost like its a sport
Governments in disarray
Corruption every possible way
War is a daily event
Where people die by the hundreds
And those who cling to power
Comfortable with their lives
While people die for lost causes
Everything feels tiring
Everyday feels dreadful
Fear rules the hearts
Anxiety becomes a plague

I've had enough of this world
Enough of this life
When will things change?
When will people live
Without prejudice or fear
Without hate or suffering
With respect and love
With tolerance and balance
Without lust for power
Without insatiable greed
When will that day come
When all the world
Dreams together
For a brighter future
And just lived in harmony?

Enough
I'm done
I've had it
I don't care anymore
I'm sick of it all
I quit

Stay with me tonight
Lying down on the sand
While waves come and go
And the evening winds blow
The moon looking bright
And the stars blanketing the sky
The bonfire crackling slowly
Bringing warmth to our bodies
While you and I remain
Tangled in an embrace
Stealing kisses in between
You within my loving arms
Looking so precious to me
With your eyes twinkling
From the light of the dancing fires
And as you look up
It reflects the vast starry sky
Like a window to another plane
Another universe within you
It gets my mind thinking
How I want to know
Every single fact about you
Every single truth you know
And how I came to fall for you

I want you
To stay in my embrace
To kiss me gently
As I crave for more of you
In a cool tropical night
Drunk with each other's desire
Like its our last night together
Drowned in your beauty
Which turns me into a beast
As the night grows torrid
And my brain feels melted
From being touched by you
I want my every day
And every night
In this place
And at this time
With no worries
Just with you
Just like this
For the rest of our lives

I pulled it..

I pulled the trigger
Of the gun pointed at my head
The bullet racing each millisecond
To blow my brain to smithereens
With my whole life flashing before
My bloodshot, insane eyes
Reliving each moment of this
****** up excuse of a life

There it was
That stinging depression
That started small
And grew in my weary heart
Slowly eating me each day
Growing darker and more sinister
As each problem came
Tearing my sanity away

Leading me to this very moment
Where I choose to run away
And leave this mediocre life
To rot and decay on its own
To be finally in peace
So that all that loneliness
Won't ever touch my heart
And will be free from my soul

And yet..

I began to remember the love
My family and friends gave me
How they stayed by my side
Never abandoning me
As I was loosing hope
They held on to me
Tried to keep me sane
Supporting me through it all

How cowardly of me
To suddenly let them go
To throw away this one and only
Life given and lived by me
But I guess its for the best
I guess its time to rest
I'll never see them again
They'll just forget me anyway

..Will they?

The happy moments came flashing by
The many times I genuinely smiled
Truly laughed and felt at ease
Those moments sweet to cherish
Was I this happy before?
Before everything else came crumbling?
Before I succumbed to the voices in my head?
Before I ended up at this very moment?

I don't want this..

Last moments of feeling the regret
I don't want to end this life
I just wanted to regain the happiness
The happiness taken and removed
By this consuming condition
This unforgiving depression
That ills my every cell
And has now completely taken all of me

I could've just lived my life
But no, I took it on my own
In any moment now I'll leave this world
Never to be seen again
No more new opportunities
To better my life and move on
To fight this psychological battle
That has taken hold of my entirety

And then it hit me..

I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE!
I DIDN'T WANT TO **** MYSELF
HOW DID I END UP IN THIS SITUATION?!
SOMEONE SAVE ME!
ITS COMING FOR ME!
THE SMELL OF GUNPOWDER ENTERING MY NOSTRILS
IT SCARES ME!
****! WHAT DO I DO?!
THE BULLET NEARING MY SKULL
I CAN HEAR IT CLOSING IN!
SAVE ME PLEASE!
I DON'T WANT TO DIE YET!
I WANNA LIVE!!

The pain stings..

My head feels light
My consciousness fleeting
As I fall to the ground
I could see the massive bleeding
I can't hear a thing
The silence is deafening
My vision went black
And then everything just went
Blank

...

..I shouldn't have pulled it

Wake up the dormant emotions
That sleep within my tired soul
Stir these feelings long dead
Let me desire you with wanton lust

Your heavy breathing fill my lungs
As you embrace me with sweet warmth
While the night grows colder by the minute
Make me adore you, make me want you more

Let me dive further and deeper
In those eyes deprived of innocence
Fill the empty bedsheets
Of this cold and lonely bed

Ease my fears of solitude
With those gentle and sacred kisses
As my hands trace every inch you
And my heart fixated on all of you

Don't leave me just for tonight
Since I fear I'm dying inside
Erase these hints of depression
That latched themselves on me

Hold me close and don't let go
Let me drown in your presence
Sink me deep into your pleasure
Leave me addicted to your body

Wake me up alive
And make me breathe heavily
Like making love to you
Is the last thing I'll ever do

Don't let me forget
And don't make me regret
How you roll on my bed every night
And rearranging my life upside down

Let me make love to you tonight
As soon as the sun sets down the horizon
Feed my growing lust for you every night
Until dawn breaks and morning comes again

Trivial things
That make heartbeats sting
That break emotional barriers
And open pathways
To the one who holds
You by her hand
And makes living this life
Fun and exciting

Small things
That create meaningful impacts
That reveal what is hidden
That symbolize affections
Neutralizing negativity
And showing real sincerity
In front of the girl
That turns your world around

Beautiful things
That represent the sweet
Yet thorny twists
Of what real love is
And that through the thicks
And through the thins of life
Total Love and Devotion
Defies all odds and obstacles