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  Sep 2014 Life's a Beach
OliviaAutumn
Scientists estimate that you will fall in love seven times before you get married.
That 42% of these marriages will end in divorce.
That lesbians get their sexuality from their fathers inability to
Maintain a platonic relationship with a woman
Pram pushing into bedrooms whilst our mothers clean
With wine stained pinafores and nicotine laced lips.
They remove their motherhood camise
And hang it on the banister one day after school,
Her fatal attraction to the bottle and mine to the silk touch of a woman’s fabric being the perfect childhood cliché for a
chronic homosexual.

My mothers is still there like a scare crow to heterosexuality,
warning off all my seven deadly loves that could have come from man but now come from the caress of a woman’s cheek but still,
I am afraid of wearing my heart on my sleeve
In case I shrink it in the wash so I place it in my rib cage
Captive to the beat of my own heart grieving.

You are my second love and according to science
I am therefore chasing something that cannot be caught,
Something that has an expiry date before I can even co-create this thing called love  

So when I sip seduction from your navel,
When I unwrap you like the present at Christmas I never got,
Untying the ribbon as I undo your jeans,
Just know the only I do I will say is when you ask me if I think you look pretty.
Or if I want a brew when we are lying in bed puffing smoke rings
Around our impending sighs that float over us like rainclouds,
Drips of fate falling from these skies dampening my desire.

So forgive me if the only aisle I will see you up is the biscuit aisle, Pulling the fabric of my non-wedding dress around my slipping tights.
Forgive me if I trade in the sweat on your neck
For the salt side of a tequila
As sometimes I like to use the wool from over my eyes to knit me telescope so I can look at the stars between your thighs,
But what no one ever tells you is that when you wish upon a star,
That star has surely died.
  
Because I want to fall in and out of love 7 times.
Correction: I want to fall in and out of love with you 7 times.
I want to press you, not in a book, but against me.
Imprint the lines of your fingertips on my ******* like maps of Atlantis because I want to go places with you I never knew existed.
I want your nails engraved on my back like constellations of stars
So I can always find my way back to now. To then.
The present. The past. That very moment where Greenwich meantime got it wrong:
Those seconds were longer than any before,
And my life has been full of seconds.
Second child. Second best. Second chances. Second love.
The third the forth, the fifth the sixth but the 7th, the 7th time you tell me is no longer reserved for you.

You tell me the 7th time is for me to fall inexplicably, uncontrollably in love with myself.
So when I walk myself up a different kind of aisle I can do it with you by my side.
And I’ll stand there, lifting the veil from over my eyes and I will tell you, Darling, second love, science is colourblind.
It doesn’t see the colours of the rainbow like I do.

Because yes, I do.
spoken poetry
Life's a Beach Sep 2014
You left a note, but she didn't care
Instead she breathed a last trail of smoke
From your matted hair
Surprise, the reaper came early this time
Surprised you could see from the smoke in her eyes

Inhale
Inhale

So she wrapped you up in knotted
grey sheets of white, her eyes now light up from the fear
Of the Night
That the tonight you might bite her
That you might excite her
With your wings of hallowed promises
and peace

Inhale
Inhale

Lay down a wreath
You meant it this way

Watch through the smoke in your eyes
Watch as she swallows goodbyes
Instead attaches you to the chain in her chest
Lays you down in her bed then watches you rest
From a nest
From the floor
Uncertain
at last
She adores you enough

Her Past
Slowly eating her
At Last
The excuse has arrived
Surprise

Inhale
Inhale

The chain in her chest
Becomes the chain on her neck
And as for the rest, that
you chose when
You took a breath

To bereave
To leave
Was to force her to breathe her last

Inhale
Inhale
and
Exhale
The Past
Life's a Beach Sep 2014
Legs Parted
Soul Kickstarted
Is your heart truly in
this again?
When will you learn
that the stroke of the
burn on your slit
Won't cure what bit you
at birth
Craving for earth.
When you hope for your existence
Is this really all
that you can
see?
Life's a Beach Aug 2014
Paper kites fly with colours of a dye
dipped in ribbons
Hypocrites die
An eye for a eye
yet ******* keep on living

And the sky was cloaked
in glorious intentions
and the world was soaked
in the liars hosts

We're just vessels
We're vessels

And the sky was cloaked
in glorious intention
And the evening wrapped us
in it's own directions

We're just vessels
We are vessels
Of a soul

The sky takes it all
And the evening wrapped
us in it's own glorious
intentions
First draft of a song :)
Life's a Beach Aug 2014
I swear, to fight when you are fought
To provide safety when you are vulnerable
To give comfort where there is hurt
And bring love where there is emptiness

Standing, sword drawn, at the cliff tops
of your mind,
How can I defend you, when the worst
lies within?
Life's a Beach Aug 2014
What makes up a thought?
The script in italics?
The emotional voiceover?
How do you define a thought?

"the action or process of thinking"
That is it's literal allocated form, a
string of letters, used to show a
multitude of meaning.
Break
          It
             Down
Thought
Thinking
Sentences
Words
Letters
Alphabet ( the basic elements in a system that combine to form complex entities)
Symbol
Emotion
Rational
Moral
Hormonal
Genetically engrained

How do you describe thought?
I cannot leave things unsaid
And yet,
there is no way to say them, without
telling a half truth,
an attempt,
A Lie.

The things I've left unsaid
                            For fear of seeing them wrong
Litter my memory

Incomplete songs
Poems
and hidden fears
not far behind

Once un-winded, they are still
as encrypted as before
Even to me
half formed

So, instead of half truths,
I shall tell half words
I love you
Perhaps
Not always
One day

One day perhaps I will try to tell
But, before then, I'll be human
and tell Half Words

Leaving my trust in things
Louder than sound.
Life's a Beach Aug 2014
Moisture hangs hooked on the air
Eyes un-meeting, un-watching, stare with baited velvet
And the moment holds wary and wanton.

suspended

Paused

Filled

Waiting

The only sound the whisper of breath
close enough to steal
The only feeling
Unbearable, beautiful,
warmth
Fiction real
Skin drenched in the promise of sweat
Pupils wide enough to
teach
The only part of their body that
can reach
that peak of
longing

The feel of shifted
air
A
breath
A
single
hair

Almost touching
Almost real
Close enough to steal

A piece of Torturous Perfection


*The Moisture hangs hooked on the air
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