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Feb 2016 · 1.7k
Bye Bye, Bastard
Life's a Beach Feb 2016
Go **** Yourself,
because I never will again.

Remember when I did though.
Remember all of it.
Remember my mouth, and how
good I am down south.

I hope you remember how
good it felt to
sexually assault me
Because for you
I will remain your Frustrated
Wankstain of a memory
I will remain a dream
you stole on borrowed time.

Because you definitely didn't deserve mine, or
me.
I currently feel So ******* Free

Truth is:
We accept the love we think we deserve
and you were ******* greedy

and I am ****** glorious
So, from now on, I'm gonna go ahead and use my love
on those who deserve it; including myself.
Fuckity-Bye, you abusive, manipulative, selfish arsewipe.
Have fun ******* yourself,
knowing that I did it better.
:) :) :)
Incredible moment of realisation today, bought on by my ex throwing a tantrum that was obviously aiming to make me feel upset. His cruelty made me ridiculously happy, because I've realised that he lost me. He did **** this up. I was accused of not loving him enough, but I did love him enough, he just constantly wanted more.
Jan 2016 · 542
Snowstorm
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
Thunderclouds breathe between my lips as
I place my forehead to your skin to steal the pigment from underneath lazy lids

I'm a dragon I laugh

That you are you smile

And you pull me closer to take the climate I've offered you.
The eye of the storm cosier  
For the warmth of your contentedness

The softness of our skin
Enough to melt the cold
Of a blizzard

Our gentle sin
Always on the tip of thawing out
Yet never quite leaving.
A wisp of smoke without a fire
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
Today I wrought a terrible thought,

I imagined
cutting pain tracks
underneath eyes
so that tears
sting
with salt.

Grievous Assualt

I'm not sure which is the worst
That I thought it
Or that I sought it
An old intrusive thought of mine. Seemed too awful to post at the time.
Jan 2016 · 1.1k
Simply Too Complicated
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
It's taken me a while to realise
But simple doesn't always mean happy
Back then was simple,
We were simple.
Two in love
The other two in lust
It was nothing to make a fuss about
But we were simple
Because the rest of my life was complex
So
You were my escape route
And together we made a distraction
Just big enough to stop a ****
And together we helped to map out
My naked body
Which, before you, I didn't think anybody could want.
You made a tangled mind feel
Simple.

And now that part of me is complex
I've lost that group
That laughter
That lightness
But, what I have now,
Who I have now,
What it's made me
I wouldn't switch it for the world.
And
That choice is simple.
Jan 2016 · 488
Vent
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
Do you have any idea what I go through?
You don't, and I
know you don't, because I never tell you.

Ever wondered why?

I have what seems like a million stacks
of paper pressing on my chest, and
all the ****** memorised facts
are fighting in my head, compressed, I
feel a bit dead. What this person said, what
that person said, my eyes aren't green
anymore, they're red,
and yellow,
and pink,
a highlighters tint tattooed into
my neural net, yet I don't feel
confident enough to bet it won't
wash off.
Yet each morning I still
brush off my shroud of too
little sleep, because I can't fall asleep
when I'm alone and when I'm sad I
moan to shadowy paving stones, as I
walk a march to the station to
and fro, and I secretly wonder, "does
it even matter where I go?", and every day
I'm just that little bit more slow, still keep
counting chances in my head, but when I
dance my heart can still
hear the lead I left at the
side, which resides with me
now.
I fall asleep on textbooks and
I wonder how this
became the focal point of
my existence, every now and
then it meets my resistance but
every time I squash it down, I wish
I dreamed of the crown of
innocence that once brushed upon
my head, but now I feel I'm guilty
instead, because every smile
is a second wasted. Instead I
dream of
paper,
and death,
and funerals.
And I watch as the
ones I love are lost, I
can't remember the
last time one of my dreams
was soft.
I can't remember.
This sacrifice isn't small, I haven't
actually listed much of my fall, but the
tallest order of all isn't even the
grades I must get if I can
finally submit to the
fact that I might be
worth it.
I'm leaving the first person I
have ever romantically loved
to do so, and just the idea
bruises my bones,
because, at the same time
as being miserable, mad, and
sad,
he has helped me be the most
happy, no more, filled, complete,
as I have ever been.
I have thrown my soul at
his feet, and he has
kissed it.
And if I leave him, I will miss
it, a part of me I finally found, will
resound like a long forgotten
tune, my new found flower
unknowing where to bloom.
He has not made it easy, I have
watched him torture, hate, and cry
to himself, I have watched him
wish himself past help.

I will always have her, nothing
can ever take her, she
is me.

But he,
he makes me fear the breeze.

I love you too, but if you think you
see a brick wall then you obviously
haven't looked to see how tall
it is,
I've run out of bricks.
All that are left are sticks,
feel free to scratch in an "You
owe me" but, you see, my perceived
"cracks" have triumphed, I'm
sorry to be the bearer of true news.
I'm sorry I can't sit up with you,
I have in the past.
I'm sorry I can't right now panic for you,
I have in the past.
I'm sorry I can't listen right now,
but I have,
multiple times in the past.

So leave a message after the
tone, and I'll get back to you
when you want a wall to moan at.

Maybe I'll chuck you a brick?

(p.s sorry if this was too "emotionless")
Old vent, definitely was in a foul mood
Jan 2016 · 419
Nothing
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
My greatest fear is probably my strangest secret
I'm scared of feeling nothing
This is not just a casual grammatically incorrect statement
I fear nothingness.

I fear a taken breath without the joy or
pain of living which joins with it.
I fear not wanting
not loathing
not feeling
I fear Nothing.
Jan 2016 · 365
Ravenous
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
Say my name
no better
pant it
I was infancy until
you sank your lips
onto mine
possess me
climb me down the evolutionary ladder
turns out it's better to
be primal than to be
sophisticated
oh I'm wasted
in your breath
in your stench
I'm drunk on your
wetness
ethonol
a drug
but we haven't drunk
or eaten together before
so now we're rabid
and
ravenous
Jan 2016 · 1.0k
I love you in moments
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
I love you in moments
my eyes and my ears
the shutters capturing
Your all.

I love you in moments
fluttering lashes catching
a faded photo to treasure
Your soul

I love you in moments
A laugh, a touch, an embrace,
But even they cannot erase
the beauty of your fragile vulnerability.

When you need me,
I am truly in your thrall.
Jan 2016 · 257
Closer
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
NIN
This song is ***
Every line, beat and pulse
Is a duress of eroticism
Jan 2016 · 297
Once you go punk
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
Why would you ever go back?
Jan 2016 · 790
I'd walk to you if I could
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
I'd walk to you if I could
I'd wear down my heels until I'd bleed
I'd tear down mountains in my wake

Lover lost in the past
If I could just eat your laugh
I would never need food again
Nor would I fear starvation and death
For my life would be wholesome
and succulent.
Jan 2016 · 425
Stop.
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
*******
Mentioning
My
Room
I throw the clothes one by one
into the gloom of the
chest of
drawers
Allowing myself only a pause
to gather a little claw of rage again to fold
and hold
Resolve

Stop talking about my room
Consider this topic
closed

Just how my door will be
In future.
Jan 2016 · 341
My Fears
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
Emptiness* again,
Unable to find my way back
to emotion.
Alone
Unheard moans
Mentality ripped in my mind
Unable to find a single shred
of hope
Utter Fear
of the Sea's Noose and Rope
looking *inviting


Always there
Always lapping
Always waiting
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
I basked in the womb of a female's
*choice
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
because I'm only meant to look like a ****
I shouldn't have any of the fun
you ******* me with your eyes
is what you think my monogamy should be
Locked up wankbank
you want a photo of me playing with
a key

**Have a stop
Jan 2016 · 353
He showed me his porn once
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
And I never told Mum
Gaping blonde, **** and teeth
***
He'd won
I'd never tell, not now, not then,
not anyone.

He asked if I wanted to see his "wake-up call"
I was to young to understand the pull of
the nakedness of women
Didn't know what I was viewing
Didn't know what he did
For so long I was unaware
Repression's glare
I didn't want to remember

And he was so ashamed
Told me the next day he'd deleted it
Removed the stain on his hard drive, the first ***** photo
etched in my head. What is said
and seen, will always
be recalled

I should be appalled

But I'm haunted instead by the question
What the hell was going on in his head

Instead of anger
Awareness
and dread, because I hate
the way he messed with my
head.
Jan 2016 · 327
Why am I not enough
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
To make you want to live
Riding the slipstream of your thoughts
I always have to find one more fight to give

Reason's proffered up to your knife blow
Tide lapping at my feet
As I will the World not to let
you go

Don't let fragments fall or soar
I need more
to be alive
I need more than just
to survive

But your needs
Eclipse
My own.

Again.
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
When did feminism become a taboo?
When did equality become uncool
Men not superior to females
Us not superior to them too.
When did I become the taboo?
When did this become uncool.

So I wish we are all square and blue
true, it'd make dating difficult
but what'd you do,
you'd talk to people
true
*** would be awkward
too angles
too many rights
won't create create the sweetest wrong
but at least we'd break the taboo

No colour
No gender
No looks
apart from the individuals descriptions

Believe: I am female
I am male
without doing a cursory glance up
and down
believe: I am intelligent
I am creative
without checking my pigment or
my ****

because I am done with it
I am tired non-acceptance
Snap decisions
Stubborn judgements

it's nothing personal

No, you made it personal
You stole a personality
Smeared it
Said it was wrong
Said I didn't belong.

So I wish we were square and blue
No stereotypes
No stigmas
No ***
cos maybe we don't deserve it yet.
If all we see are
pigment
genitals
and stereotypes.
Jan 2016 · 446
Happy New Year
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
The burns on your arms
Singe like a map when I watch them
The Waterboard moment
When I watched you burn yourself
the worst new years I've ever had
No one was happy.
I wanted to be drunk for once without anyone
making a fuss, trying to help,
interfering in release; so instead you all needed
me.

Everything burned.
Sparklers
Fireworks
Her heart
His anger
Your guilt, singeing me like life lost
in a forest flood.
Made 2 years ago, I'm doing a clear-out of my drafts folder
Jan 2016 · 323
Current Mood
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
Alternating;
Crying
Eating
and Fending off
Horniness.
Jan 2016 · 376
We're double dating
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
With our demons
Their relationship has become
abusive
They are fighting all the time, and
like a werewolf of suicide
Yours started nibbling
mine.
It's no longer ******
My demon wants control
But yours just wants to
drift.
I'm starting to wonder
If I'd actually
miss
this pain.
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
I hate you, I wish you were Dead
**** me
**** me, please
**** me
You have something to live for, I
Do Not.
**** me!
Put a pillow over my face and smother me
It would be so easy
cries
Please. Please, **** me.

Do you have any heroine?
You will never be enough
You will never be enough to
make me happy
No one will.

A girlfriend who's doing way better who he'll lose or end up sponging off of
No Friends
Can't Die
Nothing
I could stand in the street and punch myself until everything bleeds, you wouldn't stop me
I could invite you over and stab myself
You would do nothing.

You popular *****
How are you going to last
without alcohol?

Didn't realise I was that far down the list
Nice.

You will never understand

You will never understand how
it feels to be alone with your
thoughts
All alone.
I just want someone to care
for me.

I could slit my wrists in front of you,
I don't think you'd care. I don't think
you'd do a thing.
If I died, you'd probably move on in
a couple of days.
You will always find someone to care
for you
Nobody cares for me.

Die.
Remember this conversation.
*******.
Have a ******* good time
I hate you.

I wish I were ******* dead
And I wish you would
******* die.

Aisling.
I'm done.
I'm going to slit my wrists
I'm going to hang myself
I'm going to walk into the sea
I'm going to overdose
Hopefully suffer a heart attack and explode
It doesn't matter
I don't believe you
I'm going to **** them
I'm going to **** them all
Stab them
Shoot them
Beat them to death
Nothing you can do
I just want it all to end

I'm going to make them disappear,
I've done it before.

Have you ****** someone else? It
felt like there was more room in
there.
I feel like you don't want me to
touch you anymore.
I don't want you to touch me.
You only get Freshers' flu if you've
been ******* someone.
You want a hug?
Sure you don't need a safe word?


Do you hate me
Do you hate me
Do you hate me
I bet you hate me
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Take a ****** joke
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
You aren't the same
I want you to be with me
Not like this.
Sorry I've been angry
I can't really stand talking
to you

I didn't mean it;
I was high
I was drunk
I was angry
I wasn't me

I'm a horrible person
I'm a ****
I'm a ****
I'm a liar
I'm an idiot

You're going to leave me
Do you want me to leave?
Shall I leave?

Hold me
Spoon me
Give me a hug

I love you
**I love you too
Quoting. I'll add as stuff happens/as I remember. I'm done with them circling inside my skull.
Jan 2016 · 453
More than this
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
I was more than this

More than the sieved shelled
husk in a hallway
Waiting for relatives to
scavenge fragmented
memories

More than the salted sinner
deserving of slaughter
Further than the fear in
my shivers as I stared down
a bullet; and lost.

More than just a media martyr
A way to sell papers
A symbol of massacre
Emotional wankery; societies comfort

That isn't me

I am more than just bravery
I am not merely someone's
More than a parent
More than a child
More than a hero
More than a minute of silence

I was my own.

A scribble;
Hobbies, Quirks, Tics,
Snarks, Anger, Laughter, Tragedy,
Sexuality, Inside Jokes,
Embarassment

I was secrets, that no-one else will
ever know.
I am secrets locked inside a rotting mass
I am forgotten; because I can no longer remember.

A stockpile of emotion,
reduced to a photo,
and the title of 'victim'
'hero'
'martyr'
'missed'

Today I am 2D
Today I 'RIP' Remembered

Tomorrow, I hope to be real
and forgotten

Tomorrow, I hope to have
**lived
Jan 2016 · 425
Ash Tray
Life's a Beach Jan 2016
Don't wanna be your final meal
Eat your own heart
And taste just how it feels
Red track marks oozing down your chin
I wonder,
Will you blame it on the ethanol again?

Because I'm not your favourite Heroine.
Not your favourite Nicotine.
Not your favourite way to shoot up or
smoke up or
Reason to stay clean.

Instead, I'm your ***** hangover, the
dregs in the syringe. Perhaps
You'd understand my bitterness if you
spent some time in the bin
Or I could save you the trouble
Smell me.
That's my stink.

I'm not your favourite heroine.
Not the soft satin of Fantasy, I'm the
Bearer of Reality
I'm Nothing
I'm Everything

I'm the water that you reach for
In the morning after sin
I'm the coffee with no sugar
I'm the box of biscuits, that turns
out to be a sewing tin.

What I'm not is another substance
I am sick of playing 'bin'.
Dec 2015 · 295
Stolen
Life's a Beach Dec 2015
Our noses touch,
But we mustn't kiss.
It doesn't matter;
This is still bliss
You remind me
Of Security I've missed.
Maybe someone likes
Me after all?

And, I wish this hold
Could last a year.
I wish I wouldn't just
Return to fear
For now, I make you
Lend an ear;
So, I can whisper in it
Nothings for the night.
Pray the curtains won't
Let in the light.

In case you disappear like
Star light in the sun

Can't bear to think reality has won.

So, we stay in pause,
Your breath on my lips
Instead of a kiss.
Never missed if it
Never happened.
Yet still so
Unfinished.
Oct 2015 · 356
10w
Life's a Beach Oct 2015
10w
Loosen up your anchor chain
You're reducing me to
Bubbles
Oct 2015 · 1.4k
Suitcase
Life's a Beach Oct 2015
Emptied out the suitcase of my thoughts
I'm kinda tired of lugging them around
Searching for a place to just feel sore
Without some ******* telling me
To flip my smile around

If I could? Don't you think I would?
If I could just blank out the bullcrap of today
If I could? You bet I would.
Funnily ******* enough, things don't quite work that way.

Wiping away the scratchmarks of the day
With the antiseptic wipe of yet another pill
Work in progess
Oct 2015 · 983
Dug in My Fingers
Life's a Beach Oct 2015
To erase, a half prayer that I
could peel off my face.
Hoping my mind would die inside
So I could rebuild, start to replace, the
memory within my fingertips
Of your missing pulse
The way your eyes screamed
contention, and the
sight of your bodies post-
mortem convulse,

I want that to stop
Still

Smash in every clock, for
when Time doesn't link us, why should
I hark to a ticking that
slices at a life
already half empty, rather
than half full

Keep topping myself up with ethanol
Central Nervous System policing
the cheat, puncturing my
sockets to free the
holograms of happy memories,
in a silver stream

No substance left now that it's
tainted
No substance strong enough to take
this pit away

Shovel thrown away, but never
clean, bones and teeth,
muscles oiled and lean,
cling to the metal of
my mouth.
All eyes drawn south, because
dust always draws flies

Like the worm trodden mess
of your thighs

And the way I can still feel
you on my breast

Like a coffin's weight
I bare you

Never at rest
Always a race

Perhaps I'd find peace if I tore off my face.
Sep 2015 · 463
Black and Blue
Life's a Beach Sep 2015
Mind beaten black and blue
I should've told on you
But, I couldn't.

Heart of Gold,
your precious
Heart of Gold.
I've started to see it mould, and
Shrivel.

So, I cannot stay,
another day, another day
So, I have to go, before
you lose control, you lose control.

You gave me love
Then you took it away
You stole my love
I needed you to stay.

I never let others hear
The way the toys seemed to scream
I never let mother know
Things weren't quite as they seemed.
Didn't bear to see you go
So, instead, I lived in a dream.
Sleep paralysis stitching up,
stitching up my mouth,
and my seams.

But, I let it be.

Will always miss the way you hurt me
To let off steam.

So, if I had a daughter,
Would she love you like I did?
If I had a daughter
Would it cut her like a shiv?
That's what it felt like.

So if I had a daughter,
Would she love you like we did?
Like mother, like daughter,
The fear, curled up, and hidden.
That's what it feels like.

That's what it'll always feel like.
Life's a Beach Sep 2015
Each strand leaving an invisible lump
in my throat
Digging a moat made of
tick lists, weight gain, and loss.
A household tossed into the bin of
my memories
Offered up to the rust, and the
stains of post-cognition
Not even writing anymore, because each page
brings up the nightly nightmares like
bile in
my throat, and there's the moat
again
And I'm drowning.
For, what am I without creativity?

There's no panic though

Just a strange apathy as the weeds
tug on me

Because I know I can never fall in
As deep as before

Curious.
Sep 2015 · 505
Quality of Life
Life's a Beach Sep 2015
Isn't cured by
Quality of Countries' cash.

2380
The DWP flick off the blood
2380 bodies in coffins
Some were never loved
And all because of debt
We'll never see
debt we'll never shake

Every political debate will now
stand on the bones of the disabled.

And it will never be enough
Mankind turned to dust in search
Of digital pennies, in the rust
of all empathy.

2380 deemed fit for work

Apparently not.
Sep 2015 · 444
Recycled
Life's a Beach Sep 2015
Your information is recycled
Layers of stereotype driven crap
Fed down through the ages

All that changes is the pixels

Caricature faces are blown up like balloons
And handed to all those who seem a tad different
******
Freak
Idiot

**** them

Humanity swimming through a swimming pool
of their own *****, each new swallow
Has less truth than the last

We swim in circles
Complaining
Drinking
Never thinking beyond the box
Which is now our home,
Swimmers longing to roam are pushed below the
water line, being waterboarded
Traditions hoarded
While research is squandered

Grabbing hands take only that which pleases them
Ignore all reason

Tis the season to be ******* stupid.
Aug 2015 · 914
Confronting the mirror
Life's a Beach Aug 2015
I find myself confounded
Playing Contortion with my fingers
and thighs

I widen my eyes
and **** in my cheeks
and smile with the grimace of sleek

I take up my neck
Scrape up my hair, hunching my
shoulders, til my collar bone is bare

I squish in my ****
And I hide my arm fat, pronouncing
my ****, by arching my back

but alas

I've shoved my stomach forward
My **** appears flabby, I **** in
the stomach, delay being 'saggy'

again

I've breathed in too far,
now the waist is too large, but outwards
sees the stomach, again, far too large

so I look to my legs

I again perceive dregs, of stretchy
spotty, teenagehood, and the memories
dredge up insecurities

I tiptoe round my vessel with dread

I've thought of every possibility in my head

I've reminded myself of
health
vitality
living

Yet when I stare at the fat
I feel I give myself too much slack
*start sieving out imperfections
The mirror grabs me
And changes fiction of fractions
To made-up fact.
Jul 2015 · 403
Ugh
Life's a Beach Jul 2015
Ugh
I write, but it all seems pointless
Disjointed,
Useless, and Dejected.

This way of expression I created
Has seemed to still and stopper
A Goner.

Done for. Finished.
I used to relish the kiss of
inspiration and entanglement
into something that seemed purer
than myself

Now, my words dust on a shelf
Inspiration strikes and snaps;
disjointed and useless.

Sapped.
I find myself writing for a voice
, and musical ability, which
I do not possess

I pray I will be able to pick up a pen soon
And write away this uselessness.
Bleh.
May 2015 · 613
No One Deserves Death
Life's a Beach May 2015
Instead it's earned, like a payment
plan. Every drop of sand quickened or slowed
with actions, words and loans of health.
Death is the epitome of stealth
So far away when young, yet the last
lap of it, you run,
It's breath on the nape of your neck
Like scorch marks, track marks
The ****** skid marks of a life too short, yet too
long, yet too unexplained, yet too peaceful, yet
too daring yet-
Everything.

Death is not something to steal, it is natures
to take.
Death's scythe is a rake for fallen souls
If I had time to learn every religion, I'd probably
believe them all
In the hope that penance is a myth.

If life is a gift, then
death is the end of the party.

Do not **** others, for that would be taking cake
that is not yours.

and do not **** yourself, your life is not your
own to take.

But, take solace, Death will rake you soon enough, and
then, maybe only then, will you feel the regret of wishing away
a lifetime.

Do not steal
Do not ****
Do not scorn
The master of nature, which
must take us all.

Amen.
May 2015 · 559
You know you're tired when
Life's a Beach May 2015
You start to taste with your eyes
The nights disguise of supposed peace
Hid release in Tarantula legs
Tarantula eyes
You feel like spiders are scuttling inside
scream, and only you will hear
peace is ceasing, peace is never near
steal a breath
steal a pill
Pray that you will
fall
into a beautiful abyss, no greater
release or escape than this;

A Sleep Successful

Pillows make a fort,
a duvet; a shield.
Limbs like a parachute
Keep your secrets close, and the
enemy of your mind closer,
Stronger
Longer

Sleep
Please, no oxygen, just in case
that helps them in.
Only heat

and the possibility of Sleep
*can bring hope now
Apr 2015 · 1.3k
Date Night with my Paper
Life's a Beach Apr 2015
Alright page…okay, fine, I admit it;
I've been avoiding you.

Your face, beautifully smooth and innocent, reminds
me I have yet to find the time to paint it…so:

I apologise,
to the eyes I should have coated in the eyeshadow of
romance (scorned, loved, lost, lived)
to the cheeks I should have blushed with eroticism
to the ears I should have punctured with anger and
passion and vanity
to the skin I should have smeared foundation over: covering
bad rhymes like concealer over spots (still there, just less obvious)
to the lips which I should have animated with laughter and
sarcasm.

I apologise,
to the body of the poem which never:
Felt the stanza of a corset
Felt the **** lace of an internal rhyme
Felt the bra of a title
Or the shimmering dress of a metaphor

Or the thrill of removing every last bit.

I've missed a million date nights, and I
want to try to fix it.

Please? Despite our marriage of minds, we have drifted, I'd like permission to take our hands on a date once more
Letting the wine of ideas pour between
Sighs of Sibilance
complete contentment

**Tasting the catharsis of your lips
Apr 2015 · 741
Do You Want Me
Life's a Beach Apr 2015
Do you want me

"I want you if-"

no

not a bargain
not a condition
not a sub clause or by-clause easily broken

do you want me

Like a dying man wants to live
Like a mother would give herself for her child
Like a tiger threatened, turning from mild, smelling meat
Would you want me even if I were weak
And feeble
broken

Do you want me
Like a drowning sailor begs for air, lungs swimming, head boiling, the body knowing what it needs, but the brain bleeds confusion; a drowning sailors final ******, offered to the depths like a tribute, a lover's kiss: sorely missed, but it's taste forgotten.

Do You Want Me
Need Me

Tell me.

Or let me taste you next in the second circle of hell.
I would bid you well, despite the bitter lingering smell of uncertainty.
Mar 2015 · 528
The Turtle Moves
Life's a Beach Mar 2015
And so, a breath is taken,
and the colourful universe feels

Scales and trunks halting,
causing the world to pause

A Witches' hat lowers
Hairpin halting
On the path to the bun,
A toothless grin falters,
A mother shushes her young,
A triple voice soars, and cracks,
falls
silence
just for a second
just this one

A hedgehog stirs from slumber,
a palace, blacksmiths, markets, circle,
Elves cease to smile
Just this moment

There is peace

The trolls, asleep in sunlight, are bought to
consciousness, and they lift their lichen in a salute
more beautiful than any enchanted guitar or
harp.

Dwarves halt in the smell of gold, lips parted in
shock, beneath beards which now quiver, rather
than quaff.

Hex's parts come to a standstill, the ants, overcome,
clutch the teddy bear and Hex's light, blinks off
then on.
A single word flashes on the output screen
<Gone>

The Wizards, third helping finished, long for
answers: anything but this
so wrong
But Susan only shrugs
Poker held aloft, she searches the the
monster, but even Iron is not
that strong.

Stop The Press
Stop All the Clocks
Even Dibbler stops picking a lock

All the egg timers stop

A howl from the forest
A salute
A Goodbye

The universe filled with an inevitable sigh

Pyramid's shaking
Orcs quaking
Goblin's sobbing
Tiffany Aching

Even de'Quirm's thinking
is placed on pause

As hats
and staffs
and lords
and trees
and daggers
and guitars
and paws

Even sad little bladders on sticks

Are raised in tribute
As reality quickens
And a thin arm asks for an AUTOGRAPH

The Cori Celesti bows
To the Chief of all Gods
As the timer runs of Sand
Nevertheless the Turtle Moves
Life is now,
Life is real,
Understand.
Mar 2015 · 2.6k
Like a dinosaur
Life's a Beach Mar 2015
When I saw my bones
Protrude
From the knots of my back
Like the ridges of a dinosaur
Sapped of food, singed with
Stress
A childish distress
Fear darkness
Blankness
Terrifying emptiness
When I saw my back protrude like the
Ridges of a dinosaur
I saw my body dressed as the
Skeleton I will one day become
I saw a vessel controlling a brain
I felt like a bottle of tequila drained
Such fun until it's empty
Used to the tip of uselessness
When I saw my back protrude like dinosaur ridges, a skeleton
****
The most terrifying thing I felt when I saw my back protrude, like the dinosaurs I coveted when I was small,
The rudest thing I felt was

Satisfaction

With it all

I felt more beautiful than I ever had
Maybe
Ever will
Felt satisfied at the neatened carelessness I
Had almost used to **** myself
Satisfaction
That my body curved in
Only bones, no fat or muscle to
Hide the struts within
Revelled in the hunger in the pit of
Stomach because no one
Could control that but
Me
You can't fail at starvation

I loved it
For once I couldn't fail

When I saw my back protrude like a dinosaur
I knew I could never go there again

Because the living dead feel only
Hunger
Chest pains
And fatigue

And dinosaurs ate whenever the **** they wanted to
Mar 2015 · 778
Hear footsteps walk away
Life's a Beach Mar 2015
From the life they all had planned

Because I can feel every small death
In the sounds of grains of sand

falling away
sigh

A ray of clarity lights up
from within a sky of meaningless clouds
Their moisture stiffened on my breath
elasticity melting on my hands

wholesome
real

If life is a concept
Then perhaps joy can be the incense to burn round it
The light up ball pit of consciousness can be
What I choose
Who I am
Which I lose

A jigsaw of emotion
Want, desire, controlled, due, debt
I needn't let anything control

I'd lose it all if I wished it

Because reality is a waste when filled with musts
Anxiety placed tenderly down to rust in the grave
of oppression and dependency
I have a tendency for un-calm
There's no need for alarm

Mistakes will always be forgotten
As will trophies
Love
Revenge

Everything must have it's end
So don't sweat the small stuff

You needn't have time for that ****
If you don't want it :)
Breathe
Jan 2015 · 820
I Don't Need You
Life's a Beach Jan 2015
For me to 'survive'
I need you to live
Because I can't thrive on what
others give.
Like Cold Coffee
Literature
Melody
The Sea
You bring escape
and intimacy
unique
to me

And so; irreplaceable you'd be.
Life's a Beach Jan 2015
Quilted silence
And folded sheets which trap memories
It's your warmth for which I long
In daytime: Lovers
In night time: Enemies
in jest
My teeth grinding in my sleep
twitching limbs flailing
Failing to remain sweet
and spooning
I wouldn't change it for the world
I'd chirp cozy
You chant "cramped"
But we both know it's my bed
On which your name is stamped.

It's in my sheets you know me
I miss the warmth
The company.

But, at least without my teeth grinding
At least without you snoring
We get to sleep at last
Memories kept warm in the past, waiting
for us to come *home
Jan 2015 · 2.4k
I can't fit in the box
Life's a Beach Jan 2015
that says 'perfect' anymore
Every time I lay in it, it cuts me to the core
A slice in my brain
A slice in my face
My ***
My thighs
A cut on my tongue for each time I
lie and
lie and
lie

Truth is the word 'fine' doesn't suit
Once everyone else accepts that
Maybe I can attempt to recruit a new standard for myself.

I want to hear that they'll still love me if I fail
Rather than
Don't worry, you'll be fine.

It's easy to make that 'decision'
When it's not your
Heart
Health
Brain
Future
Family
On the line
I love people's belief in me, but tonight I got it from too many sources. Sometimes the fact that they 'know' I'll do great just adds to the pile of people I feel like I can't **** this up because of.
Jan 2015 · 1.2k
Whipped Cream
Life's a Beach Jan 2015
Only harms the lactose intolerant
Just think of the relevant mess
We could make with a shake
And the click of the lid, as I rake
your mind for reasons we should
Rather than shouldn't
I'm going to go there
You could 'come' too
and wouldn't it be fun

To make a relevant mess for once

**shake
Now take your clothes off
before I'm forced to
paint them white...
Jan 2015 · 955
Wreckage
Life's a Beach Jan 2015
Drifted ashore
No oar
No paddle
No hope
Of retrieving this day

Floating sulkily away

So pass me a rope so I can
sway my ship to the
next
**hope on the horizon
Here Goes
Jan 2015 · 1.1k
Sunny Fragment
Life's a Beach Jan 2015
Little Girl
Blonde hair teasing through
layers of breeze
Her grin collides with the sun
filled with ease
and the breath of spring

It's a beautiful day to live within
Jan 2015 · 7.7k
Uncomfortable in my skin
Life's a Beach Jan 2015
Yes to my muscles, but
how can I help but
Sigh at
the spots and
the thighs
which are still in construction
Adult loading
Where the **** are the instructions?
As I stretch
and bulge
And involuntarily
yield
to Maturity of Body

loading
loading
*loading
ERROR 404: ADULT NOT FOUND

(old poem)
Jan 2015 · 310
Night Night
Life's a Beach Jan 2015
I'll tickle you
You'll probably get in 'a huff'
You'll give me a growl
Warn "That's Enough"

But you'll laugh as well though

So comfy I could finally sleep
A glowing trust that you'll keep
me deep in your patterned arms
So safe from harm
With you.

Held together better than glue
Sometimes you don't believe me
When I tell you "I'm so happy"

But around you
It's hard to be anything but

that.
This one isn't that great, but I wrote it so it's getting posted I suppose!
Jan 2015 · 669
I am his
Life's a Beach Jan 2015
and he is mine

Tentative praying
please let it all work out fine

*everything crossed
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