I love you
I love you and I trust you
I love you and I trust you so I tell you everything
Even though I love you and I trust you you're not trustworthy
I love you and I trust you but if I don't tell you
What you want to hear
I'm scared you won't care
I'm scared you're going to hate me
I'm scared you're going resent me
I'm scared you'd get mad
But I tell you anyway
And I bare the consequences
Because I love you and trust you
Because I love you and I trust you so much I hate you
But I can't hate you
Not even if I wanted to
Not even if I genuinely do

My sister had bruised ribs and so do I
It's purple, blue yellow and green
Cold rotten meant is the only relief
We live in a house with floors of seven
We dress in tunics of silk and saten
Until we turn to doves of pure white
I continue to hold her tiny sobbing body
Through the unforgivable night
We'll leave never hearing a 'sorry'
All we want to hear is a 'sorry'
'sorry'

When I delve Into the deepest pits of my mind
I find that I dint want to die
The inevitable is a curse
It's scary I can't rehearse
All the answers that I'll know
Will only come to me when I'm down below
When I'm six feet under
Could I help but wonder
If I spent my life wrong
If I was a bad person
If life was a test
If I passed or failed
If I'm going to hell
Wouldn't that be swell?
I'm being sarcastic
Would that help me in a casket?
I'm guessing it will not
It was a stupid passing thought
Speaking of passing
Will it be amazing?
Having all the answers I'll ever know
When I'm burried down below

The shadows on my bed
Whisper secrets in my head
They ruin my day
But I wish for them to stay
When it's light
They burrow into my body parts
My cursed limbs
Do unforgivable things
But these shadows are poets
They make me write and I don't even know it
I wish they were dead
As they whisper banned thoughts in my head
****** thoughts into my head
They plague my memory
We burn a picture of my family
One of you and me
One of just me
One of nobody

I hold the hand of a pure black man
He walks in a quickened pace
"I'll take you to a special place"
There's a beach with purple sand
What a wonderfully delirious land
Intoxicated, I do say
"I want to stay here all day"
All day turns to months
I will never have enough
Time here with him
Figs of sin smell sweet and taste of rotten meat
I hope for a hero to one day
Come and take me away
Until then in paradise I stay
Watching the now blackened sand,
As it turns to clay.