I think regret is a flame  that continues to burn you.
The same old sting yet the capacities  differ
It is our knowledge of the what if's that plagues us
The if i could have one more moment i would do it different
It yells in our ear like a forgotten  premonition
The embrace of disappointment  yet self inflicted
I just didn't love the right  way
and No I can never forget it
I love to see you happy
but wish it was because of my actions
It will never happen
I Cannot Go backwards the doors are one way
I hope the regret doesn't suffocate me each day
I hope you know that things be as it may
I hope to see you overly happy
and me in dismay

The gateway to a different dimension
Dreams are an instant  life
Wiped from existence
Whatever linger is in bits and pieces

However dreams of  you
Are a forever memory
The day the world lost you
The dreams I no longer see of hear them

My dreams and hopes have become superstition
So now instead chasing them
I tend to fear them because once they are accomplished
the world may end it

I am Full of Flame
as it  burn ever bright
do i put the flame out or
do I let it consume me
As its glass case melts away
do I let it burn
the beautiful of the flame
the way its identity  flows
or  shall I let this flame continue to burn
it is a part of every identity
or should I suffocate it
or let it cinder the rest of me.
I burned bright for you but you never fed my flames
caught up in the beauty you let it die now
all that is left the ashes for the a new flame to burn out

I believe that every conscious being travels this road
Where nothing is completely given or reached
Where everything completely stop but never goes
This road diverged into either the left path or right
plagued with the  decision of making a choice
The pressure of that inner voice
Speaking to you
of the consequences of each action
the good never out weigh  the bad
The consequences never worth the results
The action of always sacrificing something in terms of ganging
It is the  road that you cannot venture away
No matter where you turn
you always end up returning
this road is one who tampers with your mental capacity
Your morality
Your happiness
Your individuality
It happened too those before
and will to those after me
what a progressional tragedy

Love
Give me that undeniable ,
even at times you don’t know why that it’s justifiable,
whenever we need each other no question reliable,
near or far it’s just a flight or two,
if it comes down to it I’d die with you ,
in my heart and in mind there is no denying you,
When I’m with you soul connecting is forever lasting not just one night with you,
In this dream of you , I pray I
This is only facts no mistake in you
You were made in his image
He yomust have been for patient with you
Perfectly imperfect
There was and is never a mistake in u
Such a beautifully designed being
Stars themselves shine at your meaning
May this beautiful day be whatever you believe it

Holding on to past Recollection  of happiness

Itching to gain back the people that we were

at Some point, no save  point , we lost where we were

We had dreams and made schemes for our future endeavors together

Like erosion our foundation became weathered

With time, Will we rebuild each other or will this ship perish and sink beneath the vision  of unforgotten finish line.

You
Shall I tell the the ways I admire you?
Should i tell you that everyday I wake from slumber
And you’re absent I long for you
Shall I tell  you that you are my sweetest dream manifested
My forbidden fruit that I’d die to taste
So that I can become your nutrients so that you won’t ever wither away
Shall I tell thee that no woman compares in my eyes
A love undefined unrefined
The greatest scientific element
Nothing else holds relevance
To say that one would die for you and mean it
Is trivial in the aspect
You’re more than beautiful
I’d eternally live to make you smile everyday
This is no opinion to assess
Question arise when the thought arises do you feel that same?
Will I ever find the right words to say?
Or will this heart continue to bleed with the ink from this page
Someday I may never know
Someday the truth will be answered
Until then my heart sleeps
For the day I enjoy your embrace

Lately I stared at myself in disgust ,
how could you ?
It was something so beautiful ,
destroy it ..why would you ?
It was your everything and you reduced it nothing
,how dare you ?
You let lies, deceit, and paranoia ensnare you,
why would you ?
It was our one true piece of happiness our future and you sabotaged it,
Who are you ?
Maybe its time I suppress you
And Progress without you
Because when it comes to our happiness you’ve constantly shown no concern
It’s time to let you drift like the beautiful embers in the wind as the Phoenix burns
You were our greatest obstacle
There with every turn
I guess it took our final loss
For me to learn
Goodbye My doubt, good bye my insecurity,
I have lived my life with you pursuing and
Sabotaging me
I am finally comprehending who I really am
Those false pretenses no longer shackle my hands and wings
May I fly like Phoenix and you drift away like the embers in the breeze

When you compared me to them in your mind I became them
I was destined to depart from your presence
I fought for what we had but this ship sailed in its own direction
Cutting through the waves instead of simply letting them take us on this journey of self understanding and companionship
It became a constant battle between the tides of opinions and mistrust
What happened to us ?
What happened to the reason that made your presence just enough ?
What happened to love and effort being enough ?
Although this book is reaching or has reached its last chapter
With tears sweeping away my ****** expressions like high tide in the sand
I’m hoping your happily ever after is within the reach of your hand

With you gone, every night i pray for your safe passage to all routes you choose to take.
I wept every minute your presence was not in my face.
As memories of you drift,
like those pebbles on the river of yesterday
although pain leads the way, your memory will forever be protected in my wake.

With the rise of the morning sun few things come to mind
But one thought does is that
Your day be filled with the wonders of the world
May your beautiful seconds
Turn into astounding and riveting minutes
Those minute turn in hours of bliss
Eventually let this day be filled with positive progression and minimal accomplishments
Let no negativity derail that beautiful train that is your happiness
May the heavens bless you to have the day of your dreams
May the day be as amazing as you seem

For dreams are best enjoyed when you live them
You're and were the glue that held me together at the my seams and hem
The stress and pain became the overflowing sea and I could not swim
You constantly reached to save me
But with love so deep I rather you save yourself
Drowning in alcoholic dependency
I am no longer me
I am the broken eggshell
My yolk spilled in the winds of time
It pains me to see you leave my heart and mind so beautifully
Forever a part of me
My beautiful black rose whose roots so thick
At some point the views became so different
Simple problems became the biggest
Should live this miserable life without the one thing that means most when all things fade away
Or should I die knowing my beautiful rose
Was drive out of my existence through my own ambitions
My nothings became your everythings
Arguments became rules of conflict
Hearts became still instead of beating
Insecurity became the driver of this ship
Instead of love and companionship
My Juliet, as I die from the poison I sipped
May my spirit forever protect your heart and all of contents

When did life become so complicated
Or did I become so blind to the truth of it
Believing that all that was simply needed was love and hard work
Or maybe my perception of life was incorrect at first
Maybe my ignorance of the details
Led me astray down a path I now
Am blatantly dissatisfied with
Do I cry or simply gracefully bow away
No longer fighting for what is right
Success just drifts away
Maybe the complaints of a simple life would be appreciated today

Heartbroken by those that promised
Never to forsake
How you find the time to love
When your clock is a broken vase
Constantly filled with affection
With these cracks it sifts away
Heard this was a game
Uncoordinated You can't play
Even time you start to run
You trip and the creatures close
You feel it's deep breathe on the back of your throat
Proceed to let out screams but you choke
Harmless but painful
Blood stained claws from the hearts it has ripped out
Before you know it you are this unknowing victim
Hole in your rib and you feel something is missing
Blood soaked and a hole in your shirt
Guess this is the true meaning when they say this monster of love hurts

I was captivated by your beauty,
Somewhat enticed and enriched by your depth
Thinking maybe if provide you with all that of my being
We could become one entity conquering all with each step
Devastating our flaws and surmounting the differences n every fiber of ourselves
At what point do we identify as one
Think with a like mind
Does it come with more time
Or should I assimilate and just become benign
Throw my passion and dreams aside for your convictions at full time
As this ink bleeds my heart pours for you for
But how can I restore
What was never broken for you
What's even more ?  this more unconventional
Than unconditional
I hope you find yourself
Without me missing you

Lately I'm been searching for lost parts of my self
in the deepest part of you
So the true lessons of love
I only feel when I'm a part of you
dreams of finding my sustenance
As explore these unknown depths
As our passion bubbles
Grasping for air as we dive in these
lustful hues of ourself
I would rather be submerged in your love and never come up
But these foreign waters
Sometimes trouble me
So I contemplate pulling up
Lost in you my curiosity
brings me deeper
This pressure and current is combatant
My ship is tattered
My oxygen is getting weaker
Shall I take residence in your being
Or Shall I call it quits for today
And Make tommorrow my sequel
Each I day I may search deeper
Or shall I perish searching and battling all your doubts, insecurities,secrets and demons
If I do perish I'm hoping this message reaches you
Then suddenly there is breach
The ship it starts to sink
Water filling my apparatus
It's getting harder to breathe
the pressure crushing my ribs
Nothing visible
All I can think about is your lips
And whispers of your affection
Guess This is the end
With my last words
I wish to kiss on your reflection

Some may confuse this. For something solely base on the physical level,
But in truth that is the shore of the definition
Beauty is a slow but tasteful soul
One whose heart and. Dreams may never grow old
Beauty is a freshly. Unrefined love
It is the very essence and meaning of what you have become to me
No light can shine brighter
No affection grips my soul tighter
There are many words that may sum up this
There are very few things that can get this just right
Your touch
Spiritually your so majestic
Emotionally even tho flawed your perfection
To say it simply tis' a blessing physically manifested
I'm so appreciative of everything in your reflection

Words may sound nice but they do not come close to the manifestation of love and adoration I have for you , your body , your soul, your mind, this is not just that this is respect for your grind, envisioning your potential , clearly seeing the authenticity in your worth this is not your run of the mill type of temporary thing this is a now and til death do me part kinda thing this is that I'd risk my life give you the essence of myself in which that makes me breathe because you would relentlessly do the same and just cause that's what I identify and define this as you may look at me like I'm just this great thing that you may not deserve well I have news for you ...you do. You deserve every bit of it... I. Welcome the thought of you and your imperfections you want to truly know why because if I can not accept them then I am less of a man in my own eyes  and I am not a mirror of perfection I stumbled and stagger I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders everyday yet I still have the strength and room for more because the lord blessed me with strength and eyes to see who
You truly can be with or without me

In this endless sky I find myself  
Like the cloud aimlessly floating
My purpose to pass my essence
To the world around and beneath me
as we drift in this endless sky that runs forever
Few truths are found
But when will I end
Where is my peak
Forever and endlessly
Search for the day that
My endlessness finds sleep

You even though I chased and fought any number of your demons
I was still denied that which I held most dear and prized more than
The materialistic manifestations of it in the forms gifts
Even the sweet taste of your essence and entrance into the venue you hold most sacred
Couldn't compare to that of your true affection something so pure that it could be given physical form so easily if I were to dive inside so unprotected
But to much I digress it was not my own
The journey for it grew tired
All though I put every ounce of my being in this
Emotion I call the drugs of all drugs
I am left with nothing the affection I once had for this queen has faded the oasis of love barren for an eternity
But now she tries to refill or re quinch this long forgotten thirst but now it has faded
Been petrified and wiped off the face of the earth so now she longs for something she denied herself of a long time ago and in doing that she deprived her self of the one thing she searched for all her life .this fruit she deprived of nutrients has withered. Now a seed grows waiting for another's to help it blossom in to what it had always was seen to be ...magnificently put that potency and hypnotic form of drug we call love

I question what makes you different.
sure enough you're beautiful  
and your figure is exquisite
but would you pray with me  if I ever need assistance  
Because trouble has been so rampant  minds a little damaged ,
and soul is a bit famished
but my heart remains stubborn and stagnant
full of optimism and hope  
What's a king with no queen  ?
Just another jester with jokes
Or an unrefined diamond amongst all the coals
See I met you and I'm captivated by your persistence and goals
I've been searching for depth
In the world full of shallows
May I dive into your secrets
Submerged myself in your flaws
And when I resurface I respire on the greatest truth of you
Pass you this lock and key
Never end. Up losing you

Such a beautiful light in the darkness
My sun on the days as life
Applied gravity to my heart
Constantly thrusted with pain which I ignored from the start
Focusing on you and your smile maybe it'll get me through the night and creatures of the dark
Repeated battles of depression
With you they're  normal and seem right
So many hidden battles we Each faced
Returning more scars each day
But we never really speak of them
Life has rather been sink or swim
If I die I'd rather do it drowning in your love
Instead of the broken child in me fighting for what I was
I was told every angel has their darkest secrets
But beauty in her hearts will always shed away her war with those demons
A memory never forgotten a picture forever in motion
a love that's unspoken but repeatedly implied
But you'd prefer me to say it
A love and the perfect novel unfinished
Battles of opinions
forever be my breathe of relief even my last exhale
Forever be my dream unfinished

As man of your complexion
The world around
Constantly betrays you
Even the women who are unknowing
To your struggle
Perception is a mother*
born in a different type of social and physically light
You could never understand the hype
And they could never understand your life
At young age neglected by your mother because of your fathers transgressions
But still you long for her affection
Her eldest
She loved you but not as much as the next ones
Still you struggle for her favor
Months and years go by no waving away
You got the brunt of the emotional abuse from your father neglecting to stay
Physically assaulted
Emotionally lost  
Spiritually awkward
So the truest form of love you fought for but it was foreign two decades passed
Now you just starting to know it
Just another unguided child grown adult through the pain of the smiles
They could never understand you or your thoughts out loud
You speak of pain only because you know it so well
True happiness was never found                so you reside in this hell
Question aRose about the savior
Looking for something proven
Sign your name on the dotted line
Extremely intelligent but they try to play you stupid
On the road to finer things you lost so much
Longing to live a decent life but emotionally and spiritually it cost so much
They say what's understood could never be explain
With no more tears left how do you explain the pain

Staring in the mirror
Reflection saying  ****
You were and still are everything  
No disagreements or ands
We walked through sand
I told you from that day
You held my hand
By your side I would forever stand
As time passes and all things fade
Like the unrefined diamond
I, stagnant,  will stay
Until it is my time to be perfected and crafted to the needs that best suit my wearer
Pressure ,pain, and harsh conditions made you even better
No back inside these dark mines I go until I'm graced with your presence

Through adventures of optimism
Somewhere I taught my self
That all it takes is a lil patience
You'll get back up and you can walk yourself
Somewhere the pain got too much and I lost myself
Drowning in my own tears steady begging for help
How you expect to know love
When it never was there
When you don't know yourself
Failed experiments with love had me feeling different
Signed my on the dotted line for it and I didn't see the difference
Biggest fear was being being alone and being away from it
Now I gotta face it everyday
All I ever did was sacrificed
Now that I have nothing
Maybe I'm a martyr or
A ***** who just can't get it right
I fought for it so much
Hands broken and ****** now I can't seem to fight for what's right
In the mirror Lil black boy with shrouded in tears is what I see every night

Honestly In all honesty
I'm torn at the seams
I was told that you fight for what you believe
The way life has been fighting me
I don't know what it means
Lately I've been tired
Mentally uninspired
Physically undesired
See I hold value in the people I know and the memories acquired
But this new breed
Has my soul out of motion
See i believed in love
When it's always left me broken
And the way you smile is like that calm of the ocean
Even beneath the current shifts and it bolsters
With the problems of everyday
The trials you continually face
I could never understand your struggle
But I see it in a way
Because this heroes story doesn't end with a happy day
It's a infinite loop
Comprised of everyday
See my mind thinks it adores you in every way
But my heart know the truth that if I love you eventually you will not stay
So I fight myself
My reflection being rebellious
If I told my form of love was a simple way of helpless
To be helpless devoted
even though my own pain goes unnoticed
Let be the nutrient and. Decay that your beautiful  flower can grow in

I'm constantly searching for something love with a purpose ;
I know you may think to disagree but in more ways you are worth it;
I've flown with the stars and took a peak of all that is earthly;
this one fact holds true and keeps rehearsing;
nothing compares to you and of that I am certain

What if I told you that even with your demons I adore you
I must implore you
to not let the negatives push you away and scorn you
No matter what transpires my heart will remain loyal
You hold my mind
And mi corazoñ
Them both
captives of your grace
I see the pain hidden behind your face
Although your beauty it doesn't erase
It shows how deep of a journey your love would take
See I too often gaze upon your beauty
In search for the mystery  in your fate
And Of your way to love
And To understand your history
Even me being unknowing
I'm amazed by your mystery