she looks in the mirror
grabs her face cream
and as she applies it it down her neck
she looks at me and smiles
"don´t forget your neck" she says
otherwise only your face will stay young

since i can remember she was beauty
everyone always told me
but i was never her
i didn´t have her long hair or nails
that easy smile and grace  

"you know my lips used to be just as full"
she says showing me old pictures
"i used to have fuller hair too"
she says stroking my hair
but i don´t anymore

It almost feels like a contest
you look skinny she says
i didn´t eat today she says
my mother is beautiful
but she doesn´t see it anymore

sometimes i forget she is more
more than just beauty
more than just my mother
who always carrys grace
that she is a person

my mother just turned fifty
"does this make me look fat" she asks
"do i look old" she asks
sometimes i believe she forgets too
that she is more than her beauty
that she is a person

When it hurts so bad
that you can´t breathe
and your heart screams
as it shatters

lock them away
take my feelings
take them all
and bury them deep

But you took the good
and now I just feel empty
I forgot how to laugh
forgot how to love

so I´ll take them back
because all this pain
I will take it on me
to love you one more day

I wanna run
As fast as I can
And scream
As loud as I can
I wanna hit the wall
With all my strength
And break stuff
With all that anger

I wanna hide
In neverland
And cry
In pain
I wanna jump
With all reassurance
And never wake up
With all that sadness

I wanna laugh
As loud as I can
And dance
As long as possible
I wanna kiss
To feel alive
And live
To feel love