Or depressed?
This never ends, it's interrupted by moments of being
Ok. Returning every time.
"You're just heart broken" then why does every bone in my body miss a person who only hurt me.
If only my heart were broken.
Instead it's my mind.
"You don't know my pain"
You don't know mine, a special kind of weakness and loneliness.
Maybe it's temporary but my friends make fun of me
The ones closest to me put me down
Maybe I don't know what I am

No such beauty
           longer dwells
         under the guise
      of flesh and bones,
           in the garden
      of a sullied heart

           fallow heart
     barren and longing                                                  .
      ­  time built walls
      an unfillable void
           burdens tall,
      beggared of light
        befallen within

  a devolving moment
so many flowers wither
       left in a broken
         heart of gold
          
    a gardener knows
        sweetest soils
     of love and light,
     without sunshine
              sour
    as unripened fruit

     memories fading
          as if florae
    never blossomed
        perpetuating
     wholly starving,
    unweedable roots
            too deep,
  rupture when pulled

        a **** let be
            beauty

   unfertile seeds sown
       where nothing
        longer grows
    in an uninhabited
             silence

raging unseen within
  the fires of the ages
still smoldering inside,
   mingled with hope  
        left for dead

hidden in the shadows
an engulfing stone cold,
handwriting on the wall
of silence growing taller

I surround myself with
non judgmental whispers
not depending on anyone.

I take every moment
as warrior even when
dark clouds challenge.

I surround myself with
energies that fuel breath
to give wisdom.

I take steps in dance
feeling trust, grateful
for all I am and all I be.


StarBG © 2017

remember
your
mid-July
laughter
and the verdant
curves
of your
body that evolve
so eloquently
like monochromatic
cinematography
the sky is smitten
with your
orange
presence
and i
love you