There is a vacancy in my spirit
So she lays down beside me
And offers me the comfort I can't give her in return

I woke up with an overwhelming sadness in my chest
and didn't understand why my heart felt things that my mind couldn't understand
Through night it grew somber
And shared it's sorrow with me  early this morning

I fear it might be unhappy living in such a constricting chest
I sympathize
With my troublesome heart
As I lay stuck in between heavy sheets
And wonder why it chooses to feel independently from my weak body that needs it so much

What could I have done for it?
It was always too big for me
Following tunnels that either ran way too deep underground or flew among the clouds that circled the mountain tops
What could I have done to make it any more happier?
All I have is my experience of what the ground feels like

I'll smoke these memories until I can't see the present anymore
I'll just build a house in the past where I can still hold on to the idea that the future is as bright as a candle that burns in the belly of the night
If anyone looks for me, that's where you'll find me

i'm sore
i'm sore because of people
who stand too close
and melt over me trying to seep into my skin
they cover me like shrink wrap
greasy and contact adhesive
they leave no inter-cellular air spaces for my pores to release energy
i implode, i implode
and whisper against the plastic
you're too close
person
you're too close

you are words
you are tea leaves
sun dried things
and pillow feathers
orange faces and brown arms take you as their own
you were known before you were known to them
us cave people know very little about things beyond our door steps
the sight of you burns straight through our pure white sheets
places that see you, see very little light and bird droppings
but you are smoke
that travels far beyond roof tops and clouds
and give the air an acidic taste
thank you
for who you are

Love is wild
True love don't mean it'll survive
You can steal a million hearts with eyes
And say good bye every time
Its no crime
To lend a smile for a night
And be gone with the light

What happened to Johnathan was sad,
But what happen to Sarah was equally as bad

I've been lost in the arms of this life
It's two wide pillars that ushers you in
Like a lost child finding her mothers chest
Forsaking all the rest
For that one corner of warmth
Shes discovered in the movements of an ever maturing friend
Life is life until it ends...

It a **** awful night to love you the way I do
With a heat that burns my heart and bakes straight through
My chest and sheets and mattress too
But when the morning finally comes
You would have never knew

I sat up rigid like a tower and waited for you to come home
Because then finally I could be weak in your arms.

I am dying
And I don't remember in between suffering
But sometimes, after I've opened my eyes to the light of day
And lay in that curve in my bed that I've lied in many mornings before
And I can feel it
Its hands and knees crawling inside of me
And I remember
The way I did many times before
That its been a part of me since the day I was conceived
And that we should sympathize together
Because we've had the same destiny since the beginning of time

Life is a maze
If not just a time and a place
For rising or crawling or falling from grace
So try your hardest not to make it a race
Because everyone falls at their own pace

Whether falling or flying
The air seems inviting
So I leap without trying
And fall without dying

She is turning
Some parts face the sun and burn raw
While others rest in shade until its their turn to be to peel away
She is slowing turning into the person she was meant to be
And feeling each phase of the process
Through pain
Through stretching
Through breaking
Throw cracking
She is turning
And thats all that matters...

Put your
Hands up its a stick up
And I'll pull a trigger if you don't let me take the week off
Its my birthday and I'm so ******* sick of
All your **** so I'll lock down and blow your **** off
Put your
Hands up its a stick up
And I pray that this is the way its supposed to be love
Cause if I go ahead and pull this tigger
We might lose everything that you and me was
So I
Show off and blow off
All that steam I have boiling in my colon
I am me, so why the hell would I be somone
Else you think that I will live doubt but
All my wounds are filled with cigarettes and alcohol
So yes indeed
I feel that this little blow up
Is owed to me for eating all of yoyr **** up
So do me favor
***** your behavior
I'm no saviour
I'm here to make you
Put your
Hands up
Its a stick up...

First I cried
Then I laughed

21 people looked up to the sky in unison
As millions pulled their feet off the ground
the world will keep on spinning
Gravity will keep us perfectly still
21 people
42 eyes
captured the clouds on Polaroid paper
stuck up on walls that hold up roofs
We'll keep on trying to let it go
these thoughts of how we are still here
questions of our importance
we are just that
our purpose is to be in the pursuit
of purpose

Last night, I dreamt
And crept into a passage way in my mind
Where things aren't quite actual
Or neat and passive and linear
In a cold sweat I realised
Dreams are faint little things
That plow you over
By arranging your thoughts in a clownish manner
What once was a sound man
Is a  strange one at night
In a place only he will ever visit
In his bed and in his mind
What scared me the most
When my eyes were closed
Is not the insanity that slowly arose
Its the tiny remnants of reality that was interwoven in between
The wacky wonders that float around in me
Pieces of truth
The dreamer would argue
Trying to explain themselves the best way they knew how to
And drips out in dots of odd shades
That leaves you in foggy wonderment for hours and days
Whatever it was
Its between my bed sheets and me
When I woke up I found it there
Just lingering

Creative, I'm not
But sticky and soft
And bubbles of blue and circles of froth
I'm stains on couches that ruin the set
But without all those faults there wouldn't be much left

I had a nightmare that shook my chest
And when I woke up it was still right there in my vest

I'm not deep
I'm just a still murky pond
That fooled a naked eye
Wanting to take a dive

the symptom of waking up is being awake
the morning bleaches your midnight self away
spiteful sun rays pull at you sweater
and chant around to with snotty cheeks
its reckless endangerment  to put on a party hat  
and leave a perfectly naked evening smothered in bliss
hello mornings are spat out through tight teeth
and throw themselves against the window
dripping down the window sill
what an eff'n mess you have to clean up

fingertips on my chest
Palms to my rib cage
He feels me before he touches me

he's untouchable

For hearts as deep
As shallow ponds
In silence weep
Your sadness gone
For morning breaks
The wake of dawn
And wet eyes take
Your face it from

Happiness is a state of mind
In my weakness I've always seen it as a finite resources
Light in the distance
Before the light switches  off again
Its possible that it sub-lets only a small apartment in my entire body that is pleagued with damp sadness
In my happiness
I sit and wait passively for the season to pass
These flowers grow in vein
And will mature and wilt again
These crisp leaves will wrinkle and flutter to the ground
Before the next season comes around
When I'm standing under the spotlight of my happiness
Looking out into the darkness that surrounds
The silent black sheets seems infinite and everlasting
And I know the future will teach me what exists there
As happiness is all but passing

I want to be in love
I wished upon all the stars in the sky
And they collectively shook heads
Saying that I should know better than to wish on sparkly dead things in the sky
My coins fill fountains
And side walks where they spit them back out
Pockets are empty like the valve in my heart that pumps out romance
My body is starved for it
Yet my hands search for the feeling
Wish bones split
And lay in two
But I still search for you
My sweat love
That I am yet to get a taste of

I wore sneakers today
For a wander down memory lane
Called an old friend to talk
And took time for a walk
Same as I've always been
Dressed for winter over my skin
Hoping rather to laugh
At the things from our past
Things I've come to miss
To cut conversationlessness
We danced anticlockwise
In lines in our minds eyes

We're naked in you car baby
Driving slow
Are we're doing this or not baby?
Let me know
We're losing heat and losing fast lately
I'm getting cold
If we're nothing take the next bend drop me at home

Sometimes I breathe
Sometimes with ease
Sometimes my breath even gives relief
But sometimes like most times in life
Breathing and believing that it should feel nice
Is nothing but a dream when you've been suffocating on inside

Hands are scarred
Of touching things they shouldn't
Creeping along surfaces that aren't smooth
Chipped finger nails scratch at stone structures
until they are just nail beds
Palms are rock solid
Like the great wall they're trying to intercept
Like elephant skin
Or just plain rocks
They never dig too deep
The surfaces are too thick
Built to keep out curious fingertips
Constructed to be where no one goes
I'll search them
to reach the chewy center
And won't stop until I'm blowing bubbles

And suddenly the rains a thing of beauty
Because I saw the rainbow shine out of the halo on your head
From the right side of the bed

7 eight 9
And I was next in line
The next time
You see those lines
Crease on the shell of my mind
And you find
That I've shut the blinds of my eyes
Understand that one trait of my kind
Is that we get eaten up all the time

And we were both there
Noticing each other
Affecting each other the way the waves carve patterns in the sand on the shore
Knowing but not knowing
Both wanting to be sure before we dipped our toes in
Being brave
We didnt meet
We fitted

oh to sleep and retire from myself
to have my legs and and arms drift through the folds of my sheets
yet even if they wonder
I will follow in between
and form pictures that try to explain what my eyes have seen
and carried in my skull and buried underneath
escape is to wake and control what can creep
and leak into my sight and seep  from the deep
in the daytime my secretes are trinkets for me to keep
that at night I surrender to  the helplessness of sleep

I felt his shoulder under my head
And suddenly I didn't need a floor under my feet to feel a stable foundation

It takes time to feel
What has not yet healed
I felt and kneel
And wavered a shield
And paited skys teel
Like a flickering film real
It shook me like an electric eel
My eyes forever seal
Because this moment can't be real

You are the problem
But you're thinking you're the solution
You confident in your confusion
You're the ghost and the illusion
Of something that should be saving us
But you've opened the grave for us
You're not the event
You are the circumstance
You become clearer in the second glance
But your true shape is in the shadow you cast
It defaced you in the looking glass
You are problem not the solution
Not the air, you're the pollution
You don't deserve a fair inclusion
My thoughts in my conclusion
Is that its not fair you get to move on

Time, my old friend
Mind giving a sign to your blind friend
About what's in line around the next bend
Because I'm scared that I might bump my head
On the edges that are hidden up ahead

i want to walk
following streams and roads
until they run slower and slower and eventually run out
just me, my feet, and the idea of never returning
in the day i'll dance with the sun rays
at night i'll make small talk with the stars
i'll smoke the air
drink the clouds
shower in the wind
and dry myself in the warmth fireside
i'll walk until my shoes split in two
and my feet start to bleed
my clothes will tear
and hair will become greasy
and i'll walk on
until i wake up in the same desk chair i fell asleep behind
looking at a pc screen
and remembered that sleeping is for dreamers
and walking out is for quitters

I keep realizing that I'm not living.
And every time I realize that,
I realize that I die a little bit more.
And realizing that kills me

Everything I ever felt was real human emotion
I want some of that plastic stuff I see in movies

You wear constellations on your chest
Hidden under your vest
Those stars on your *******
Everytime the sunsets...

I read out loud to all my belongings
to give them the opportunity to live a life
to feel as if they are not just belonged but that they are beloved
so that they can move further than the confines of my walls
And walks the same streets that I behold
Because they've given me so many joys
from the clothes I've worn to my broken toys
they were the things that adorned my life
and stuck by my side when I experienced strife
so I read out loud to all my belongings

I never played with fire
I was too scared I'd get burnt
But, I played with you
And got myself hurt

My lips pushed against his chest when he pulled me in
I breathed in his scent, this is better than fresh air could ever be
Pressed against his chest,  counting  the rhythm of his hearts song
Clamped in tight, I watched the sunrise from in between his arms

***** the future he says
Now just seems like more of an interesting place to place your feet
Tomorrow exists only if we make it past this point where we find ourselves
So take a breath baby, and let it out only of when you feel the ground pulling you forward

You've got her stuck in your teeth
I taste her whenever you kiss me
The aftertaste of what could've been
a bitter sweet remembrance of everything you're missing
while I lay here in a space left by another person
barely fulfilling the taste after which you're thirsting.

How is it that you found me?
I was so well hidden under the sheets
My heart’s beat was so far and faint
That it barely echoed through time and space
Yet through the winds that blew off my skin and behind the curtains that hung over me
You found me

Hand to hand
And chest to chest
You found me

Without a map
Or GPS
You found me

Call it fait
Or call it blessed
Through the rain
And all the rest
You found me…

How is it that I impose my emotions onto another?
Without having it leak through the pores of my fingertips
Through thought I experience myself
But My thoughts barely breach the threshold of the conversation I keep
Though I investigate the lives of others by digging my nails deeply into them
My heart never seems to follow the swaying of their rhythm
So I gather up the parts of me I allowed to explore and make myself up to be a solitary figure
Who only grazes the surface of the world
And I dance within myself
Careful to bump shoulders kindly
To avoid exposing myself as someone who is living apart from the rest of them

The strongest relationship I've ever known
Is the one I've had with my loneliness.