You don't stroke my hair
Your hands stay far from mine
Far from the time our fingers intertwined
To me your smile can still be seen
When I witness your smile at things that aren't me
Your eyes don't share secrets as they did before
What we share is years, nothing less, nothing more
So don't touch me now
My skin might tare
The years have stripped it dull and bare
Don't hang around
And don't stroke my hair
I've already forgotten that you were ever there

A call from you bring my thoughts to succession
A sweet arrangement of my childhood recollections
The riddled anxiety that still today is omnipresent
And funnels through adulthood like bumper cars at an intersection
Or is it that your remnants clings to my insides like an infection?
That burning sensation that to me still feels like blessings
It bubbles in my ears beating my eardrums to shreds every second
There's no question
I have a penchant
For the mere mention of us again

For love so sweet  that it crawls beneath and leaves everything powerless in defeat. Pull down the mountains and and oceans deep.
That is the love he gave to me...

Crystal, Silver, and Diamonds
if i give my life to you,
would You love me too?
Shimmer Glisten that Ivory
i lose my religion to you
to make me beautiful
the Lights are Shinning
Brighter than lightning
my One True Love is here
Shattered the atmosphere
I'm dressed to the nines in Him
head to toe striking
my One true Love is here
Mr. Velveteen

Don't define me by the words on my page
Rather drift through the great paper wall called poetry
And inspect the person I think I am
To share such things with carefully discerning strangers
Who haven't lived on the outskirts of my reality
I dare you not to read between these lines
But to rather to crawl underneath them
And to view the person that stands beating her chest behind them
My rage, thoughts, insights are not paper thin
They have no margins
No page breaks
Or font size
Nor does yours
They are but tattoos that will fade underneath the tattoos
That will be inked after them
Nonetheless,
Here I am
Writing again

Somewhere a tap drips
and my pillow is wet
drenched, i lay in this body of water
sinking deeper into my sheets
my head is an anchor settling on the ocean floor
**** on a memory that floats on the ocean surface
getting sun burnt and faded
drifting further and further away from my unmovable ship
forgetting me in between the coral heaps  
the lonely soul that couldn't stay afloat
after her captain jumped ship to sail another boat

Summer's nice
With the air outside
But the breath in me
Is potentially
The warmest thing
That could even be
Heavenly sweat and green
And helps me know that I'm still living

The window is open
Letting in all the specks and dust from the street
They settle on the floor and wiggles their way in between the floor boards
Mother won't be happy to find that there is more sweeping to be done
More wiping off of table tops
More time spent keeping this place looking intouched and un lived in
Where is she now?
Is she in the garden ripping weeds out from in between the sunflowers?
Did she need to take some more washing down from the line in the yard?
Or is she chatting to Mrs Brown next door about all the things the children need for the new semester?
Will it surprise her that there is more work to be done?
Or has she grown accustomed to finding that there is more for her to keep under her thumb?
Her mind knows where everything thing is and should be
Her hands know where they are needed
Her eyes has see everyones troubles and searched for the proper solution for each
But, where is mother now?
Where is mother?

Cut like diamonds
with parts undesired
he stood on his lonesome
while heaven admired
the curves of his shoulders
and behaviour to be scolded
he was feminine but potent
neither David nor Moses
caught me like a net could
with the softness of manhood
both eyes and mind and brothers understood
like he knew they would
swayed in a dance
melted like glass
oh to understand
the essence of man

I wish everyone knew how sweet it is to be loved by you
To explore the ***** down your back and the comfort of your chest
To see you smile from the bed of your pillow as the sunrays grace your cheek
And to graze the tip of your nose with theirs until lips touch and everything else becomes secondary characters it the moment built for you embrace

After the sun sets
When we've shared all this laughter
When the light has long left
My dear I'm just cancer
But you'll hear me echo for days after
When the wreckage comes and we plagued with disaster
Maybe the laughter will linger a bit longer

My soul understands my brain
And when the world collectively declines from understanding my ways
My brain will understand my soul all the same

He screams after seasons of silence
Why is it so hard for you to stay the same?
i whisper after seasons of silence
even the leaves wilt in Autumn

Curious I know
But damaged as most
Sterile and wicked and panicked I know
To heartlessly speak and poke at the nose
Carry your weight and soul afloat
On the rivers of worries that stear your boat
The past is the past
And future no joke
But curiouser and curiouser
And couriouser you grow

The sound of her heart beating next to him kept him awake. In the dead of night he was alive with passion. As the minutes went on it grew thick within him, breathing and stretching and maturing in his chest. He was roused next to her as she drifted away far from the world they had shared just a few short moments ago.

He wanted her to stay. He wanted her to be awake and alive and wild with him, like the flowers that grew on the south side of a valley. But she wandered off into the distance and wouldn't return for the next few hours.

It was his fault, he knew that. She had told him once that his presence brought a sense of calm to her that she hadn't known since she was young girl sitting on her grandfather knee being rocked to the creek of his old rocking chair and that the pressure of his arms around her passively gave her a peace that could ooze a teething baby to sleep.

So, taking his punishment for wanting to hold her tightly, he watched her sleep. And allowed his passion to simmer and follow her into the nights wormhole. Caressed to sleep by the sound of her heart beating next to him.

I could've been a lemur
But the deity decided to make me a human
And now I'm here and you're here
And we both wish that we were somewhere else

The last time I saw you, you were just a little girl



The last time I saw you, you stole my innocence

And if I...
I do not run
My season for love
Will come and go
Like the winds and the snow
Away in the night
Can love be alright
Without a chest
To call home?
But If I let it inside
Offer a safe place to hide
Like the clouds hold the rain
Like a candle does a flame
Will it die in my skin
That has coldness beneath
Can love build a home
In a chest made of stone?

Because I don't love you
And see things above you
And want you to touch you
But forget to hug you
There's no stars in your eyes
When I see them through mine
Nor shivers down my spine
Except on the coldest nights
Because I don't love you
And I know that I won't
I won't leave you a letter, or message, or note
And think nothing of the feelings that that would evoke
Because I don't love you
I just simply won't
Because I don't love you
Or think that I would
I don't love your laugher
Or things that I should
I forget it after
With the little things you do
But because I don't love you
Theres no hate for you too
I just like you
And call that the truth

When i am asleep, i dream naturally
My mind forms images that are not calculated by any mathematical or grammatical sanity
They are squiggles beyond the bounds of time and space
They are fierce and rough and out of place
My dreams are not a part of my world or a substantial image of my face
And if i truly think about them in my rational state, i can't explain them or argue their case
So they must be nothings, thats all i can say
But when I'm awake and can see and form and draw and structure my reality
I can create my world and decide its ebbs and flows, be the the future of it all dim
So if being asleep means being trapped in the realm of insanity
Then being awake must mean freedom in my reality

Our lives set on the backdrop of the sirens
To them we are ambient noise
To us they are the silence...

I'm trying to draw lines out of myself
So I can put myself on paper
I want my chest to crack open so that my heart can stretch out its arms and grab hold of something
And teach that thing who I am
I want to express my life
And say what I truly feel
Without finesse
I want so spit out blurts of myself
Inconsistent and rough
So that you can know me and not know me
The way I know myself

I find peace not in their hatred
But in my love
For they hate who I am
But I've never shown another face
For the face I've shown is the one I own
And the face they hate is one in the same
So if they hate
This face is to blame
But I find solace in the truth thereof
For if I wore a mask
There'd be a question to ask
Do they hate the mask or the owner thereof?

I've got a heart
And it has a beat
It beats my chest to pieces
As glass as it is

For love to be so beautiful that it gives meaning to this very existence
And when its gone, it leaves little purpose with it
Not even dust
Not even whispers

Yet you persist that I venture with you
To go find this evil thing and let it rest in my depths
The one that can steal my world
Even my thoughts
Even my breath

How can you offer me such a poison? You silly little person
With the bright eyes that beg me to join your your naive excursion
Where no one will be able to save you
Not even a priest
Not even a surgeon

For love is so beautiful that it gives meaning to everything that is, why would you tempt such a frightening being?
And dance on an edge this steep?
When it could slither off with your whole life,
In the midst of you dancing
In the midst of your sleep

Pacing up and down
Is a good way of carving a hole in the ground
Thinking out loud
Is a good way of putting yourself in it

If destiny is destiny and belongs to this life
Then tell me will any on my choices suffice?
Or be laid out before the universe to sun dry
Because dear old destiny decided so before I was even alive
For it was my choice to ask this question, but its not my choice to inevitably die
So is there a point to my decisions, or  is it destiny that is the lie?

They said I don’t connect
I’m an island at best
My shores leave no doors for ships to meander in
I have some sort of infection causing an alien imperfection
In the middle of the space between my outer and inner section
And as a result of natural selection

It requires human intervention

To produce a cure rather than a prevention
I know I’m not attracted to human interaction
They say this is a reaction to the way I feel abandoned
Or some **** of that standard
That I’m not really aware was apparent
But here’s an idea of what defective is
We had a conversation and I could barely get a word in
So put that in parenthesis
And forget I ever mentioned it

But before you go and question me
Look inwardly and a reflect a beat
If the quality of your conversation is so impeccably pristine
Then why the heck intercept my life with your analogies
Of the way I don’t stay in the hay of your society
And be bought by the back and forth of whats right and what couldn’t be
Or whats possibly normality
Or something that just might look like it
I cut myself loose from the discussion of that entirely

So if you gonna look at me
For whatever reason that may be
You might as well surrender to see
That I might just be
The only normal thing
About this whole **** topic, I’m openly addressing

Tell them
I was being strong
That moment when they looked at me
And didn't recognize my face
I became the person they'd never know again

She beams on me
I thought the heavans had opened
Touches my skin
And burned me smooth and golden
For crying out loud
Her hands are molten
I'm pulled into her orbit
But this air is potent
My body is whipped from spinning in this motion
I could drown in all of her
My feet's already soaking
And consume the lot of her
Until I'm bloated
And to relieve the pain
They need to split me open
To reveal that she filled me
To the extent that I've been hoping

Why do poets write in silence?
And garner words below their eyelids,
In gutters of depths that are never quite clear,
Or rifles with full magazines in their holsters?
Are they deserving of a life so riddled,
And caramelized in rhyme and rhythm?
To charm the tales of tempests and oceans,
Cursed with the gift of describing its emotion.
That plagues the shores of their lonely islands
With no other option but to write in silence.

watch out lover because I am in motion
running so fast to you that I'm floating
till my body hits you so hard we'll be broken
but **** its so fun when its me that you're holding
I'll crash and burn in your heart that I've stolen
fall asleep on your chest and hear it exploding
you're good like a drink that I wanna get soaked in
a rollercoaster ride I'm strapped to while sloping
we'll walk down the beach on the sand sink our toes in
till we sit by a fire while the mellows are roasting...

she sighed for lack of energy to do anything else
then took a sip of coffee and continued to melt

All my coworkers are out in the kitchen
Moving around past and into each other
The weekend was great
I did so much
Monday is even better
I get so much done with a full cup of coffee
I love the order of my desk
It reminds me of the order of nature
Everything has its place
post-its with post-its and other paper-like things
Staplers with staplers and piles of staples
My boss could be my best friend if he wasn't my boss
My boyfriend could be my boss if I didn't like him so much
The morning paper said a lot
The world is still spinning thankfully
Doing what it does
Feet are still somehow on the ground
Heads are still falling gracefully from the clouds
I'm getting better at dodge ball according to my partner
And even better at dodging those not too close to me
Keeping them where they should be some might say
But at least the morning dew cleansed my car
And the smell of cigarette smoke is slowly disappearing
And while all my coworkers are out in the kitchen
I'm celebrating the little victories
That somehow makes being with them a little bit more worth it

Its his fear that something beautiful will happen
And he would be doomed to serve it
Its her fear that something beautiful will happen
With someone who doesn't deserve it
If not for fear, then for the beauty of it all, we run
We until the sun light runs out
Then we run in the cold until the golden embers of morning pierces us deep into our chests
Still then, we try to find a way out, a way against, a way away from the passions that will undoubtedly cause us our greatest pleasures and our greatest fall

Why is everything so painful
I don't ever wanna hateful
But I guess that I should be grateful
That I'm feeling anything at all
This hole that I'm in just gets deeper
And I know that I shouldn't linger
But this **** from the past
Build a home in my heart
And I know that it's all my fault...
But just why...

Why you choose to welcome it into your home
broken and wilted and hard as a stone
there'll be a place for you next to the throne
because you believed that your life's not your own
One day when we all drifted away
off to find love in a whole other place
You'll be welcomed through mercy and grace
into His home where He prepared your place
because when He knocked you opened your gates...

free from the feathers
wet and hanging
from my shoulders
as if the roof melted and dripped down my arms
it became the floor and exposed the air
and suddenly
I could fly into the air
if only my feet wasn't stuck to the ground
in meters of wet gooey melted ceiling water

I look for meaning
I write it down
I make it rhyme with different sounds
Then I share it
Like I'm doing now
This little bit of honesty
I think I found

So dangerous and sweet a thing
I have yet to come to learn  
Is a man who would hold me
Without being held in return

What are you doing... asks a concerned on looker

Why are you fighting away the leaves that willingly fly your way?
Why are you kicking away the paths that bite at your heels?
Why are you scratching out the eyes of the one who sees through your thick skin?
Why are you waking yourself up when your dreams make your mind seem like more than just a
whirlwind of thoughts?

I'm protecting my heart...I answered, I'm protecting my heart

**** me dry
But theres nothing in my blood
No sustenance from my love
You can have your hugs
If you crave a warmth less
Take this empty stuff
**** me dry until you've had enough

The thing about love
There's no air spaces between those letters
You suffer alone or give without measure
You take to the sky on your own
Or have your wings severed
To be lonely or suffocated
Which would be better?
To love or to fly
That is the question

A spoonful of honey to engage my tongue
And the rest of the healing has ever since begun

Talking about your problems as if they make you different
Making small news of suffering to make the face look magnificent
While pain weathers the feathers off ofthe surfaces
Of so many who never share their problems

Talking about your problems or talking in vain
Talking about my problems when I know I'm in pain
Talking about my problems does make me feel sane
Talking about my problems like leaks from my brain
Talking about my problems to create a new frame
Talking about my problems to make me "okay"
Just talking about my problems to make them go away...

While I'm running my fingers through your hair
Trying to figure out of she's been there
She's laced in your shadow
Caught in your stare
And I just feel like the third one there

Is it so wrong to just want someone
Without paying the consequences?
Without getting the check or the questions
Be gone in the morning without a lecture
Over is so boring let me be honest
I could get both for the price of one
I'm not modest

She cried into her lap when she lost her innocence
Not because the wanted it to reappear inside of her
But, because she would never again experience the pleasure of losing it

I've been restless
In and out of town
Nothing could hold me down
But now that I've got you
To hold me down
I'm sleeping without a sound
Baby you've got me dreaming
I'm up and down the ceiling
Floating like I'm made of helium
This must be love

Shout it from the mountains tops my friend
The fact that you have a voice
Let them know that you stand at the head not the foot
There where so little people find their feet
There where the air allows your words to echo
And let's them travel on their backs until as far as eye can see
And words can exist