I was the happiest child
everyone called me naive
But as I grew up.

The happiness stayed
it took on a different form
I began to encapture people with my
sad happiness

I had a smile that could fit in anywhere
said my nana

You are so gracefully reserved
said my father

You have a shapeshifting soul
said my mother...
but the problem with a chameleon soul
Is you never can quite remember
your original color.

There it is again, that brutal heartbreak,
a blinding pain, that I can't take.
This isn't what I wanted to do,
I thought I was planning, on fighting for you,
but no, this time, I put your happiness first,
though all the pain, makes it feel like I'm cursed.
This time I won't, get in the way,
of your happiness my love, no, not on this day.
My palms, they sting, but I know this is right,
I won't tell you, what I want to tonight,
instead I'll suggest, you be happy with him,
and let my blood glisten, in this light oh so dim.

Someone  once said the only stupid questions are the ones not asked.....
      On that being said may I ask WHY?

     Why are there  so many killings...
      Why are children raised without discipline?
      Why are woman *****?
       Why is there so much hate?
      Why is racism still abate...
      Why do we have to struggle to eat...
      Why are so many people living in poverty.....
       But most of all WHY Can't we live with LOVE, PEACE and HARMONY
WHY! WHY! WHY!

You soften your eyes
Trying to hide your resent
As I do the same

That moment
     when you look into his eyes
  You see past the scars
          the hurts, the pains
      And all the lies
           through to their core
  feeling and knowing a love
         stronger
    than you've ever felt before
  finally realizing
        You found the one
you've been searching your whole life for
        blessed with their presence
   And doomed to love them forever
as they are the reason for your existence

            That moment
    in which you can feel
        your life change forever
  that you've finally reached
              the end
      of a long, tiring endeavor

     That moment
  does not hit everyone
            the same
but if you miss that chance
    it could mean a life filled with
           endless pain

Close Your Heart


Say of me I am living still
Because the smell of God
fills my nostrils
Say of me that I am living still
Because the Devil’s
laughter fills my ears
Say of me I am living still
Because the ghost of my past
still haunts my present
Say of me that I am living still
Because while my mind is
in Heaven,
my body is in Hell.
Say of me I am living still
Because the heart inside
of me,
is no longer mine
Say of me I am living still
Because when I see
the light
I run towards it
Say of me that I am living still
Because the life
I wanted was
not grasped with
loving hands
Say of me I am living still
Because my words to God
went unanswered
Say of me I am living still
Because the self-control
I’ve never withheld
has been stolen
within moments
Say of me that I am living still
Because the light
at the end of
the tunnel
has been snuffed
out
Say of me I am living still
Because the laughter
has turned into
forbidden screams
Say of me  I am living still
Because happiness
was never an
option
Say of me I am living still
Because the smiles
were all porcelain
Say of me I am living still
Because the choice
of life was
never mine
to make
Say of me I am living still
Because when I
look into your
face
all I see is
melancholy smiles
Say of me I am living still
Because the tidal
waves of my life
are beginning to
pull me under
Say of me I am living still


Because even though
you know how
to surf life’s waves
You’ve never taught
me
Say of me I am living still
Because the monsters
lurking in the
shadows
are now in
the light
Say of me I am living still
Because the stars
are now black holes
Say of me I am living still
Because the lyrics of your
love have faded
into tattered
music sheets
Say of me I am living still
Because the blue of your
eyes have turned
cerulean
Say of me I am living still
Because Romeo and
Juliet have turned
into a faded
fiction
Say of me I am living still
Because the sun
no longer illuminates
my mind
Say of me I am living still
Because your laughter
has turned into
nothing but poignant
static
Say of me I am living still
Because God has
forbidden me to
enter the gates
of Heaven
Say of me I am living still
Because Lucifer has
invited me for
a strong drink
Say that I am living still
Because my mind
is no longer clear;
but is home to
demons
Say of me I am living still
Because those words
were never carved onto
my grave. -DDF