Padre day always felt so gray
Typically too clouded for anything uplifting to say on a personal plane
Nor much of anything for me to really celebrate

Many moving pieces, some removed before "too late"
This month wouldve marked year 8 -
Of revolutions and opportunities to be great.  I would've stayed and stumbled into ways to be brave.

Instead again I sit here and isolate

Called upon a necromancer for a family to raise.  He handed me a mirror and said, "Start here today."

I am grateful to be, and honor the planting of seeds from generations prior
But the cold washes over me alone staring at the embers of a life that was a fire.

I wouldn't say that this is all a test
Life is stress when comparing with the rest
Judge self only by your personal progress
Try not to take it personally and trust the process

When this sun sets, there wont be any regrets.  Instead whispers in the wind reminding you to keep steps to the beat in your chest

Ive had my talks with suns, moons, and planets in their orbit...in many driveways, backyards, and various porches.  Kicking it with night sky, a dark cave, with stars as my torches.  These conversations elevate and ultimately nourish.  Still, I can only fantasize about how we'd all have flourished.  One daydream at a time finding the courage to surface

I dated a ghost once, and after ghosting me for months she wound up getting really possessive.  I could see right through her and felt her intentions were oppressive.  Definitely a freak in the sheet and would promptly wake me from my sleep in the morning at three.  Sometimes raging she would throw so many things and blame it on me.  Not often responsive, she'd let me know where she was through a series of banging. Felt like I'd be talking to myself and going all types of crazy.  She once entered my dream and tried getting violent with me because I was with another lady.  That's when I knew it was time for saging.  Had to have an ancestor guide my pen In the breakup letter because my hands were shaky.   In this moment,finally, from that relationship I'm free.  Next time, maybe a dating site, and not the ******* Ouija.

My highs and lows are both deep expressions of soul.  
A veces luna, a veces sol.  
Mind treads the tight rope while corazon strings gold.  
Conozco a Dioses y  Diablos.
With these breaths I am blessed to even own this vessel.
Pero antes de irme, le soplaré a este mundo un beso. 💋💘

In the middle of mountains was no less than astounding.
Incredibly blessed for the situations I'm found in.
Forever youthful, not looking for the fountain.
Soaking in energies from the moon brightens me from what was, dim.
Exploring porous auras that I help fill when I touch ya skin
Was so consumed with Yang, I forgot about the Yin
Curiosity has gotten me, in the deep end of sin~

Yet.. all a matter of interpretation
Letting go of contemplations
Jumping in without hesitation
Unconsciously yielding manifestations.
So this is a new proclamation to flip the lever
Water rising, and it's exciting biting on a new endeavor
Flooding over with no control my whole world's getting wetter
Drown it out, increase the sounds, while working for something better.

Good morning Sunshine, it's almost 8
Pass you the bowl for a proper wake and bake
Today's a clean slate, get up and participate
Gotta give out love for it to reciprocate

Circle of life, we're responsible for our fate
Outside we fly into magic beyond the gate
One with our surroundings,
Growing when we meditate
Show the world your shine,
Let go and radiate~

Is this a daydream or hallucination
Steady lost in fascination
Climb the steps of preparation
Build bonds while staying patient
Live a life of experimentation
Illuminate in exotic sensations
Learn how to decipher manipulation
& how to speak with articulation

Exhale to ensure preservation,
Notice every indiviidual in every situation,
and choose who to keep in your rotation

Life

..Is what you make it
Dreams manifest, when you chase 'em
Runner's high, when ya face 'em
Guided by, Intuition
Down a long road on a constant mission

Perspective paves way for all envisioned,
To be in the right position for fruition
nnnnnow's the time to dance, you're free!
No need to worry, just be!
If you're ever hurtin', just breathe
If ya need someone to talk to, call me

Come together have fun and releaseee

I Believe..

Drastic changes happen in an instance
I am you, more than just a witness
Cross another item off your wishlist
Open your mind with no resistance

I've lived a life, as a misfit
To show you the truth, behind the fine print
We are actors creating al that's scripted,
but most is unconscious 'til we see we're gifted.
We work for more than entertanment
Satisfaction from passion comes as payment

Let's plan a map of action aboard my groovy spaceship
Coordinates locked in, but can we make it?
The vessels under attack, they're trying to break it
Stuck in the ego basement
They failed while trying to fake it
But we've been conditioned to take hits

And blindside opponents using our wits.

We have more force than when an atom splits

The difference lies in what you choose to do with it.

This is our time, we don't need a patent.
Inventing our lives, through all that's happened
I'll still smile, as the moments are passing
Because Eye am made of a kind of love that's everlasting

*Water the seeds to feel replenished
Still won't be finished after my body's diminished
This is a new age, a space with no limits
Forever together, making music for existence~

These arbitrary measurements are killing me. Swiftly flies by without ever catching a glimpse of the sky. I go on and tiptoe through a temple where no one knows me, and then later regurgitate my soul in the form of poetry.  I have a big heart, but my ill mind sometimes controls me.  Other times I force myself to climb along the cliffside in an attempt to let the past free, so I won't be squeezed by thoughts unsettling.  My synapses are meddling, but I can't blame them, for truly it's my fault.  I have to re-train them, but first I must open up the vault.  
Long-lasting actions sadden, while the hands move in a circular pattern always towards madness..  I must leave this palace.  Mental waves of malice, where'd I put my chalice?  So much on my plate, that I pushed it aside and decided I didn't care to eat.  I won't accept defeat, yet I don't wanna face it.  If only I could just embrace it.  More than just to taste it, I swallow pseudo-panacea, a potion that sets more debatable mistakes in motion.  
Steer me to the ocean, let's get lost at sea.  No sense of time to abide by, thoughts roam silently.  Waves may rush violently, but I'll be one with the water.  I'll be in the current, flowing with the current so no longer will I falter.  Alter my perspectives, and brave foreign lands.  The only task that matters is the task at hand.  It's all my demand, and so I say time means nothing.  What's true is right now, so everyone can stop rushing.  Find the temple inside you, and turn work into play.  I will forever see you in my temple, friend, namaste.

It's those deep-thought induced conversations that bring forth realizations
As to what we're about. and why we're here.  
There can be clarity for some, while many have yet to see it clear-ly.
What's charity for some, in others may produce fear.
If you can hear me, you may know that I've been embedded in a web of silk thread.  
We all are, just labeled differently, accustomed to the various personalities under which we're bred.  
Don't let it mess with your head, but we've been mislead, about what is the vital pulse of this existence.  
You can realize what's toxic, and what's pure in the matter of an instance.  

Before you spew out your sentence,
Make sure you thought it through, and drew out a map of where you intend it to lead.  
No one single person walks into a fight expecting to bleed. 
They've been deceived by a culture based on immediate reaction,
Forming a faction of those who never grow to fully develop their souls to gain full control,
Over their lives.  
Simple words, some that should be left unheard, can hurt worse than knives.  
Thoughtlessly responding to actions is just like ingesting an unknown, and jagged little pill.  
You know nothing of the repercussions, but as the grains of sand pile up, you soon will.  
Believe it or not you can get to your mental destination faster once you learn to sit still.  
So, respond by applying conscious thought to your will,
Ultimately creating a new canvas in which your creativity can spill.  

Perfection is an eyedea,
And forever happened yesterday.
We're the perceived seeds of Gaea,
Equal composers of this magnificent screenplay.

This plane gives us no manual, and no time to rehearse.  
I spent a long time in the lions den, only to find that I must tame me first.  
When I would sting everything, it poisoned my own insides.  
Held on too tight with my claws when I should've just paused, to gain some insight.  
Instinctively we have adopted the means of fight or flight.  
Just make sure actions taken will be those that lead away from spite.  

In your beating *****, the tempo will eventually cease.  
Listen to it's wisdom in order to unwind, release,
Be at peace and defeat the foolish person that sometimes controls your mind.  
It's in this moment that we take off the shades that have kept us blind.  
When your days grow into night, you alone can be the light that shines,
And reminds the world that there are things far more important.
Even measuring the probability of being alive leaves us more than fortunate.  

Warming yourself radiates across what can be known as a cold planet.  
Every single moment I believe, happens for a reason,
Even though it may not be as you planned it.  
A person's karma is what you're presented with, while yours is your response.  
Slowly we're intertwining and aligning; now let's raise a new-age renaissance!
It's up to us to detox ourselves of all of the mind's pollution.  
Close your eyes and ascend to the skies for the Consciousness Revolution.

I am having a hard time. It's my mind, and the world it defines. Blinded by rules and regulations written by those that don't know us, and don't care. The only vulnerability most of us know is when our body's bare.. I too almost forgot how to share. What you see in the mirror is nothin meant to be compared. Weeks are consumed $pending time, for the acquisition of wealth. Months fly by and you start to wonder about the deterioration of your health. These toxic chemicals are cheap, ever flowing addictions resulting in dependencies.  Simple actions can turn into deadly tendencies.  Pharmaceuticals outweigh compassion by a number I can't fathom. Instead of knee-**** reactions, let's seek to satisfy our passions.  I finally got a mic to record, but I am sick, and my voice is hoarse. I wonder about these humans and their senseless wars. We've been conditioned to unlearn the natural laws of love. It's so easy to think we are singular separate entities from the sky that shines above. We are not alone, and beyond our shells we are always home. We see the world not for what it is, but how we are. When you look up tonight, remember you are that bright, beautiful star. Upon writing this I felt so low. My dear sister hit me up and a smile started to show. I want to cry, and exercise my body to maximize this plane's time. This is just another example of how I release and thrive through the art of rhyme.  So I call this, the illusion of pain and isolation; because initially I was only focused on my frustrations - self-projected hallucinations with no sense of destination.  Breathe your dreams into contemplation within every moment you're facing.  Words enter the frame that can maintain a state of hypnotic paralysis.  Rocks ripple our waters but we can calm our reflective surface.  Blow a kiss, feel the bliss and see purpose in your skit.  Think of the universe when you hurt, because without you, this doesn't exist.

Hypothetical situations can cause pseudo-realizations
Sheer demonstrations of fantasies that fluctuate from the different poles.
Everyone in this skit is scrambling around trying to figure out their roles.

Reading "The Power of Now"
I'm being taught how,
To even further embrace the moment and be at peace.

Sometimes though,
Sometimes the movie in my head can make for a blissful release.
The trick is to bridge the self-inflicted anxiety gap,
To put your mind at ease.
Shut down it's power to conjure,
and find a stillness where the chatter retreats silently.

I've been blind to see the difference between what's real and fallacy before,
But now I'm closing my mind and opening my heart to find what's truly in store.
No score to be kept, with overwhelming success.
Doesn't matter creed, gender, or even your address.

Find solitude in the ever-expanding mansion that is the universe.
Our never-ending story is now, so there's no real need to rehearse.

Growing up I've always thought life was much better with how it is in dreams.
Still maturing, but I think I'm finally learning,
To just Be
Appreciate what is, and even what I can not yet perceive.

While not knowing can be more complex than it seems,
You can always trust, that *there's beauty in a mystery

There's an elephant with a fire poker on a magic carpet.  There was something about this typical scene that made me not want to part it.  I jumped aboard, he put his trunk around me, laughed and said, "Hello friend!"  I was bewildered as to would become of this journey, but I already wished it'd never end.  
         I asked the 'phant where we were going, and if there was a fire to poke.  He told me, "Ryno, we're to save a sacred city before it all goes up in smoke.  My name's Vishwah, and the city of Ramthew has been my home since birth for many many years.  Unfortunately this thriving place seems to now be consumed by tears.  LaChunga's an evil man that's recently taken over; a vicious tool with relentless rule.  He's hurting all with no discrimination, and that just isn't cool.  This is why I've been searching for someone to come to our city's aid.  I just fear there's not much time before the hope starts to completely fade."  Inspired I jumped up, he yelled, "Sit down!  You surely don't want to fall!"  I obliged and said, "We'll talk about seat belts later, either way I'll risk it all."
         He sensed that the time was right and swooped down into the town.  After seeing the drained expressions on various faces I couldn't wait to face the clown!  I said that I wanted a weapon to teach him a lesson, 'cuz I'm not much of a choker.  Immediately he said, "This is for you," and presented a different fire poker.  I've never felt more prepared to fight a battle for a city, and serve up some similar medicine to the man that knows no pity.
        I gathered some locals together to share the plan I had.  Vishwah & I were to break into the palace that night, though normally I'd consider that bad.  Thankfully they had an elephant entrance in the back of the structure.  Inside we were confronted by a captivating woman, who said she'd help, but I wasn't sure if I could trust her.  Nearby guards, were alarmed, and the girl ran out of the room.  Rear to rear it was the elephant and I, seemingly left to our doom.  Wildly flailing our fire pokers, against the mob we began to push.  Before we knew it we had beaten our adversaries and put an end to the ambush.  
        What followed was a series of hallways and locked doors with uncertainty on where to go.  Then after catching a glimpse of a fire in the distance it seemed,* now we know.  *Just beyond it was a huge circular room with the ruler at his desk.  He stood up as if he knew we were there and said, "This is your final test."  He spoke of knowing all of our plans and capturing almost all involved.  Despite every word he said we knew our plans had not dissolved.  
        He pulled a lever as we grew closer and the floor in front of us had dropped!  He then let out a hearty laugh thinking we've been stopped.  Vishwah and I looked at each other and nodded as he grabbed me with his trunk.  Vish threw me across the gap in the floor and I flew with a lot of *****.  I looked into LaChunga's eyes and he looked as though he didn't know what to feel.   Gazing back into mine I know he could tell **** just got real.  
        Reaching at his side he grabbed out his sword as I charged at him with much discord and we both felt the surge of vibrations as our metals clashed.  I told him, "Punk you can consider yourself a potatoe, 'cuz you're gonna get mashed!"  I swung and whapped him across the face, which seemed to put him in a daze.  But before falling over he splashed my face with a powder and my world had vanished in a haze.
         I eventually came to, to LaChunga's screaming and the girl's beauty in my face.  He was screaming to be let out for she put him in a chain-like embrace.  The floor was back, Vishwah was there, as I was surrounded by a crowd of stares.  The people were free & overcame the strife.  All of the hope had come back to life.  I said, "For now, LaChunga should live out his days getting pies thrown at him at the peoples' discretion.  He will be faced with nothing left to taste and know the true meaning of oppression."
The people were joyous and excited, but wanted me as their king.  I turned to the girl and said, "If you were my queen it'd make my heart sing!"  She blushed and accepted, but I said I'd only rule if all the people were by my side.  After all the cheers and emotions that were felt I said, "Let's all go on a celebratory magic carpet ride, now with seat belts!"

Days pass
The ships that are relations, crash.
Years can disappear in a flash.

Too many problems we couldn't hash.
Too many currents, flowing towards the past.
I knew we couldn't make it, the gap between us was too vast.

Substance abuse and word misuse
The ugly side of passion roared til it got loose.
And resentment led me wondering where the fun went.

I wasn't happy, attitudes were pointed at me.
Backed into a corner I usually sting,
I needed to escape, fully aware of the actions it'd bring.

Already you've dropped more tears than I would wish on my own mortal enemy,
Myself.
I can no longer help you, for leaving is what was leading me back up
through what was my own downward spiral.
To be happy with what you are and all that you have is vital.

The vibrations passing through were infectious and sometimes toxic.
It was that way throughout the lion's den, and there was no way I could stop it.
I would leave for peace sitting next to trees over-looking the lake.
I'd usually do so alone, because if I had stayed in that home I knew my future was at stake.

3 different times, too few happy rhymes, and a fair share of crimes..
I knew eventually I'd have to show my spine and lay it all out on the line.
Never emotional enough for you, yet more emotional than you knew.
2 single tears were shed after our time was over, one for me, and one for you.
Cherish what was, but we needed to part.
The ending usually reveals itself as a new start.

I never wanted to break your heart, but we couldn't keep up smiles.
Sometimes you need to get away, which is why I'd be gone for miles.
The trials, I found were no longer worth the effort, for a balance was no longer there.
I may seem brash and distant now but don't you dare make it seem as though I don't and never cared.
The tears you drain over the phone hurt me, but I have to remind you it's too late.
Just don't look back with hate, it's just how it is, whether or not one calls it fate.

We weren't all that we could've been but hopefully we'll learn.
I'm going after what I want in life, now it's your turn - to switch lanes, and ride.
I'm sorry, and I know of your pain.  But as you progress, just brush me aside.

You're making yourself sick, but you'll get better, and I honestly hope that.
This is my attempt at self-healing; a new, loving habitat.  
Sounds cliche. but even though you may feel shattered like glass,
I've been there before, and this too shall pass.
I'm sorry


It's been awhile that I needed to get this off of my chest,
But I know from the deep-depths of my heart, that this is what's best.

For all the plants that never get the chance to dance in the wind
For the wilted who spill, drinking away their built up sin
To those who choose not to speak in order to avoid disaster again
I dare you, to put down your sword, and pick up a pen

Defenses guarding false pretenses anchored by apprehension
Left my soul suspended in the smog of a ***** dimension
Purging through pores and unlocking my mind's doors
Left me to believe in things I could not accept before.
Eye put on a pair of wings to elevate and see what was really in store

I chose limitless bliss and unending warmth

No longer was life a chore,
implored by something more
lured by an unseen force

and with all three eyes I now adore

..Knowing I am a fractal
could-be casualty
swallowing humanity's vain reality
drowning out the worst in me
cutting all my puppet strings
from the cloud that had power to make me bleed

noticing symphonic synchronicites
I jumped in the river and floated downstream

inhaling sweet oxygen no longer dying to breathe
For when we try to release, we see peace as it comes naturally
we've been searching for tranquility when it exists in you n me.
the modified god with unlimited ability
Yet even the highest high can go blind when we lose the will to dream

I can't be there for each road as it bends
But I know as of late, can't say I've been a good friend.
So with every ounce of love I can extend
I'll meet you down the river, at what seems to be the percieved end.

You will meet an eagle eager to offer you a feather,
dip it in ink.
Write out every single pattern of you weather,
and let it take you to the brink.
The frequencies within and around will astound as you use shears on your own tether,
Faster than you can unconsciously blink.
At last you can relax knowing it gets better forever,
For together we won the right to think.

Refreshed, I exist in this mindstate
With a new zest for a blank page
After walking out of hell's gate -
Never looking back
The vision that was fading to black
Quickly became engulfed by flames
Realizing my disposition to get on track
The angels whispered to me through music,
Again putting meaning behind the name.
Kept my fire indoors strumming guitar chords knowing someday soon it will rain.
The darkness and breaking through the shell is any plant's only chance of gain
Sifting through dirt and various sediment let's the entity rise up above the pain.
Seeing the light for the first time still vibrating with a single thought that only growth and connection is ingrained.

What borders your windowpanes were once trees
Releasing oxygen for us to breathe
They ask only for carbon dioxide when we exhale to feed
So enrich your red blood cells and release the chemical compound we don't even need

There is balance, within give and take
Work and break, earth and quake
Low pressure and high stakes
The cloudy skies and the shifty snakes
Accelerated pace and a soft pressure on the breaks
For we are all being guided.
With the wind We are reminded,
To see fullness and not let ourselves be mindless
The space within our atoms tells me we are timeless
Free from the measurements that could adequately define this.

You will find bliss
The flame is only your passion
I see dry leaves blowing down the street and I call it fall fashion
Mirrors inside every being around me
Taught me to see that only within was I clashin'
Now is the time to take this mental paint and create something everlasting

No one knows how long it'll last
But We all have a time limit,
This is why we can't spend too much time on the past,
But we should definitely learn from it.

Whether it be, the things we could have done,
Or the things we regret we did,
We remember those close to us but are now gone.
Kinda makes you wish you could go back to being a kid.

The carefree days,
When everyone was outside and played.
Even as a little me, I knew the people wouldn't always stay
Just made the most of the time i had with people, it was the only way.

But for my dad and I we never had a bond while I was growing up.
Not knowing, and even having a grudge against the man was surely rough.
I just knew, the life I had, it wasn't enough.

I always knew there was something more, something to look forward to.
I knew people would die along the way, but I didn't think it'd be you.
Nothing but a few myspace messages, a hat, and a picture will I have to reminisce
18 years is too long to hold a grudge, after all you n ma were the reason for my genesis.

I thoroughly enjoyed the conversations we had, finding out we have so much in common,
To you telling me how great of a person mom is.
You didn't have to tell me though, it was more for you.
It's too bad you were never here to watch as I grew.

I turned 18 November 2, 2thousand and 8
not a great day, but life was straight.
It was maybe a few months after our 2nd message convo
exactly 2 weeks later and our chances of meeting were no more

Said you wanted to fly me down, maybe around christmas
meet the whole family, clear things up between us.
you didn't say that last 5, but I definitely knew we would've
If the opportunity came up sooner, I definitely knew we could've.

14 days after that birthday
I get blown up on Myspace, to the news that you passed away.
Your sister, and your ex-lover both told me.
I was in shock, a whole range of emotions that no one would see.

Right then I had to write a letter of consent
To grant your wish, to be cremated
Nowhere did i go, or even turn to anyone to vent
Regretting my lifelong grudge, that I had created.

Justin would've done it, but I was the eldest son
Clicked "send" on the fateful email, and my only gift to you was done
Well dad, while you were here I hope you had a lot of fun.
Too bad the stress and the powder ultimately ended your run

I have close friends, that wanted to go with to meet you
It's too unfortunate that your struggle had to defeat you.
We would've kicked it off better than either of us could anticipate
From that point on I knew you'd always be in my life, and participate.

I'm not gonna blame you for anything though, based on what I know now, you were a great person.
The one you never knew, is always gonna be a hurt son,
But i'm not gonna take my life for granted.
I'm gonna appreciate what I have and not fret if things don't go how I planned it.

Not gonna lie though, there's a void that'll never see closure
When I think about you it's sometimes hard to keep composure
You and me, we would've been good for each other.
You'll still live on though, through me, and my brother.

Accepting your loss, affects me more than anyone'll ever know
Can't get stuck, gotta look forward and grow.
It's extremely hard sometimes, but I know I must.
Just like you said on your profile "IN ROD WE TRUST"

Rest in Peace:

Rodney Poehler 12/12/70 - 11/16/2008

Just when I feel everything seems to be coming together, I take a step back. What do I really funking want? The college idea sounds promising, and I'd be going to learn more about music and advance in that respect. Great. I've been paying on debts for a long time now. I don't mind having little money, but I've literally been working just to pay off school. I've been chiseling away at it, and if I jump to this new school, that amount I owe increases exponentially. Yet, after that 3-year contract, I will have a degree. That degree will help me make money to pay off said debts and then maybe let me live a comfortable life, but right now I don't even know if I am comfortable with the idea. I look at all that I could do in this world (that doesn't require pieces of paper {money/degrees} to assure someone that I am worth something) and I almost feel it'd be more satisfying. I am here on this Earth, to help people. I know this. I would be happy being a nomad, (as I pretty much have been) poor, bringing light into peoples' lives that money can't buy. I moved away to better myself, and I'm growing everyday, but I feel maybe I could be taking myself away from my purpose. I have far too much on my mind to be content with surviving within the confines that we are set to live in to be "successful." The American dream sounds wonderful, but it only exists when we find true happiness. I'm not certain that any one institution or career will give me the peace that I get from the help that I try to provide. I want to be a part of so many movements, I want what's right for the entirety of the planet, but I'm not sure that I would be accomplishing that. I want to grow spiritually, first and foremost, and help others heal and grow too. It makes me uncomfortable to be pushed into such heavy obligation decision making processes if I don't even know if it will make me happy. Of course, this stems from me being unhappy in the present moment, but there has to be a reason for all this.

I think part of this is, I am not simply here, to help myself. I have so much care invested into the universe and all living things that I can't simply focus on myself. I have to be out there, here, India, anywhere, helping. Helping people helps me. Before I really wanted to be a musician, at a young age I wanted to be the person that talks to others as they lay on a couch so I can help them get through emotional and spiritual barriers, to beat their demons and grow to infinity and beyond. But I always feel like there is far more that I could be doing. I've never really felt anything I've done was ever enough, so maybe this is my way of protecting myself and others from let downs. I gleamed with excitement, just hours ago. Only to realize that, I don't know. The only promise I feel we have and can make, is that we're here now. Maybe sometimes we aren't though, because part of what some of us live in is a self-induced fantasy. I'm blessed for all I've been through, and all I have...yet I seem to have, grown weary of a path that has presented itself. When I know what's right, I will go full speed ahead putting all of me into it. There's this thing we made up called time though, it's those measurements that hurt, and can create panic. I live for moments, but in this moment I am at a loss.

A wonderful person very recently asked me, what my biggest fear is, and I couldn't give a definitive answer for her, but ultimately I guess it's not leaving my mark enough. Ego aside, I am here to make this place better for all of humanity, and I don't know if these choices will aid in that, especially since we can't even guarantee tomorrow. Maybe not knowing is the beauty of it all, but maybe this is exactly what I needed right now.

In this moment I will call it a midlife crisis. I can say that too, because no one knows how much "time" we have.

I'm out of here though, spending time and money. I hope whatever course you take, that you're happy...truly. I care about all of you, and will be there when you need me, in this existence or the next. I have much excitement for what's beyond the world we know...but this current one, currently is tearing me in multiple directions, as it has before. I know I will be okay and find my way. My mind was just too heavy, to keep to myself this time.

I like to sometimes hide in the shadows to get away from the madness
Eye Keep it bright within my dark confines
Reducing my use for all this plastic
Tragic happenstance organized dances
Charades parade through town all funking day
Never risking change.  Maybe the day we die some will finally ask why, but imma do my part in seeking past my thresholds to tune into my subconscious and really give it a listen, cuz I can't rest with saying I tried.
The room breathes with me, a pillow-like comfortablility in my being.  Then everything fades into the loud quiet of the evening.  Stains were given a new chance at life, dancing on the surface, waiting to be uncovered.  Above body Being hovered, I watched it look down with the kind of warmth from a lover
It touched me so.  Streams of realities bleed before my face and my only concern is these thoughts don't last long enough to chase.  So I wait.  With my slumped over, patient grace.  The beauty of the taste washes over my shores.  Didn't even come to dinner and I was still blessed with a plate fully-adorned
I welcome the shakes, tingles, and sensations
I am creator and I send off thoughts like payment.  Placing with direct intent, something miraculous is about to happen and I don't even know of it yet.  Star fuel in our chests, happy for the last and next breath....but what about this one...
Golden.  It is fullness, it is whole.  It is a feeling so deep that all that can vibe with it is soul
Maybe try tapping into the body's rhythms, to calm the water enough to bring forth the wisdom.
Through my rollercoaster of ups and downs I've picked up pieces stood ground at the places of my landing.  I feel hollow, getting my owl song on before my flight of understanding

I think I am now who I once was

Once upon a time slumping over dreadful decline
Walking blurred lines with heart's arteries tongue-tied
Half mind human took chance on the divine

Tethered in time, to stay, awake

Currently Lucid with Lucy
Listening to a Remix reflecting the times spent with self touching something sacred
Earned every feather flapped but I can't say it was painless
Let every shooting star tear my armor apart
Let it guide me to weave beyond these holographic 3D parts
Throw my dart into infinity, who's to guess where it lands first?  Birds eyes see I've fallen into limitations without finding the right high perch

A new way to take me back,
To the years of tears still held in the mask
It's gonna collapse cuz these man made creations sabotage the freedom to truly be.  What is truly me..?
Good grief.
He caught the spacecase, ****** his own brain to marvel over the sediment the drain couldn't take

Rest in peace to old demons seeking to conquer me.  My illumination exposed the old bones and that we should love the pieces equally
Fragments of who we used to be in air we used to breathe.  Now resurface intertwined in this cosmic web of everything.

Losing traces of self on the shelves of my music library
Full of care acting carelessly,
But with awareness we can remember not to move even when signaled to
Let loose from the bioboots
Creating reality watching the paneling become unglued

I am now who I choose to be

All that's remembered from my dream this morning are shooting stars.   Now before you lay to the deep you can rest easy seeing that star trail's descent.  One more breath you will be where you're headed.  God bless the restless with chests of stress.  May we forgive, but never forget.  Let the symbols come, I am ready to secrete the yesterweek's dmt to see whether or not this is really a 8dream.  Envisioning healing.  Pain pulses keep my head reeling.  But to take something from this, I am aware, I am feeling.

Remember you are dreaming

*Wake up~

Triumphantly
Exploring
Imperfections
Yielding
A*ngles of this Angelic Actuality

Thoughtful and
Experienced, she
Intertwines the
Yin with Yang.  She yearns for a life well-lived while
Appreciating any and every
Profound piece's place, whether
Arbitrary or thought by some as
Trivial.  What's
Transparent by most who see through, don't
Embody the life that she would choose, and those beautiful artifacts are surely never
N*eglected by her, impacted by everything she views.

I don't know how to heal, but I sure know what it's like to feel.
Been reeling for such a long time with nothing on the end of the hook.
Everything is wonderful in a fantasy world, narrated eloquently like a book.
But who took me away from completion? What's the reason?
It's no one's fault, I think far more than I have to.
Sometimes I feel confined within walls, and in my own head I get trapped too.
I am a hyper-sensitive being, and I'll admit that I often don't trust what my eyes are seeing.
I usually know what's pure, but sometimes it just helps to make sure.
I flee from the moment, free to hold it - an idea I water that grows into something beautiful.
I don't need to try to show you, but I feel dutiful.
If only it could reflect reality, instead of opposing ideas that seemingly try to battle me.
If anything I've hurt myself more than any one person can.
I still wonder what it is, that is, my "plan".
I cause actions that I retort with emotionally-driven reactions,
and the fact is I hurt on the inside mentally and physically on the daily.
I try to keep the demons out, but sometimes I feel they have a thing for me and don't want me to have a sense of liberation, to be free.
I feel for all you people and it ***** knowing we can't get along.
I wish things didn't always feel wrong. I try to go right but seem to veer left.
I am not ignorant to my actions and how they could inevitably create an untimely death.
We are all uncertain, and it's a part of life.
There are no worlds that exist without strife, but they are handled in a unique manner.
I want all of life, not just a platter sampler.
My heart keeps a beat, unsteady, and not always am I exactly ready for what's to come,
but I go with the flow and continuously row because tomorrow never knows.
My love goes out to you, unquestionably. This isn't just to one, but all of humanity, and more.
With that said, let's go. We have a universe of possibility to explore.

You don't need crutches when you have wings

I do believe people are always changing, for better or worse - ever fascinating.  I'm no saint, and I strive only to be, the me better than the individual I used to see.  Our fractals react to every train of thought on the track.  Once we live with intent our cells fully-optimized will reflect.  Beyond our body, we are being.  We are the space between our sub-atomic particles resonating. Now how do you want your vibe to sound?  We transcend to new peaks when we allow our feet to leave the ground.
Let's choose to grow beyond the person we were yesterday, or even 3 hours ago,
                           *1 second
Eyes closed, purge the mold, develop sensations and unravel the soul~

Talk to those without something physical to hold.. if you don't already.  Send out intent with the individual in your mind's gaze, and don't wait until you're ready.  The action has been healing for me, and in a way, helps me see our timelessness.  Years have passed since yesterday, but the presence within is here to stay.  May seem cliche but I am who I am because of the love at play.  
                     Thank you
 Forever blessed, moving forward with my eyes closed.  Walls fall, allowing my light inside to be exposed.  When was the last time I granted myself permission to be vulnerable?  This life is a limited-time offer and our body is returnable.  
Eventual satisfaction guarantee, for every star explodes, only to create galaxies.  Look to the sky tonight to feel grounded.  When you feel the effortless love, you are always surrounded.  Waves talk, but the depths listen.  I honor you, fellow cosmonaut, and appreciate your mission
Home

To all my friends, new and old.. For all the memories to be retold..This one's for you. Thanks for being my glue - we stick together. What better time to embrace our lives than now until forever. One love, and I thank the sun above, for placing all you stars within my solar system. I can see the beauty that you hold within. If we never meet at the same peak again know this is true; throughout it all, thanks for being my glue.

In all my days,
& throughout all the events and alibis,
It seems that now, not much comes as a surprise.

I've seen a fully-armed man, cower and retreat,
& I've also seen a cat who couldn't land on his feet.
I've seen a person as warm as summer grow cold,
Just as we've all seen something so fresh and new, grow old.
I've seen the inspirational waters that are peoples' lives run dry
&I;'ve seen people so low in their own depths, get high.
It seems to me that the love has been misplaced,
When someone can't even regard the troubles that another has faced.

Empathy is a virtue, but first you must walk a mile in someone's shoes.
Try to see what they've seen & find their source of the blues.
You can pick and choose your battles, because I believe in freewill.
Just know I wish you the best despite whatever space you pick to fill.
There's more to life than to simply just cope.
When all feels lost remember there's always hope!
You best believe you can overcome the strife,
& know that what you do now will affect you the rest of your life.

Regardless of religion, ethnicity, culture, gender, orientation, or race-
I hope you all find your minds in a comfortable and soothing place.
That way we can live, love, laugh, and be merry,
*Because the weight of the world is something that we together can carry.

Hey world, I think I'm losing my mind.  Ill thoughts take me for violent rides.  It's cool, I know it doesn't make sense.  Depressed?  I thought so, but I have known to be wrong.  Same song different chords.  Found out this morning mikey died a day after an intervention.  Pretty sure Bobby's funeral was a year ago.  I'm a mason jar, not sure what I'm holding.  Drop me on the floor.  At work trying to keep myself together, feel stupid for sharing.  Pressed d.
My words/poetry that typically seem oh so uplifting are for me for you, so I don't pretend to be some sort of guru - I'm so far from perfect it sometimes disgusts me.
God, I'm blessed to be so ******* ugly
#firstworldCarbonproblems

I am Thankful for this thunderstorm.
Thankful to be alive.
Thankful to have a functioning body that I get to put to quality use.
444A
Thankful to have people that love me
Thankful to have people to love.
With these fleeting moments of clarity I must emphasize what a beauty it is to exist.
May we all see the depth of this dream and wake up fully energized.  Time to charge batteries,
After getting enlightened by lightning.
Humbled by thunder.
Seeing beyond the trivialities, excited by wonder.
You are now you2.0
Ready or not, forward into the unknown
With soul we have home
Sometimes we get stuck inside our own heads,
But know you are never alone~

Vaccinate vacant expressions and hold elections for mayor
Impregnate impurities in the pure pawns that came for prayer
One dimension at a time trying to get across the chess board confined by squares
Spawn a queen made of dreams with the freedom to explore realms everywhere

Stone starts to float with malleable motions
Essence ascended after the mind broke open
Parting clouds allowed for clear messages the sun encrypted
Waves, sounding like home, powerfully reminiscent

Outside the atmosphere
eye could see the stars of the universe growing more clear
Only then to notice, my body disappeared
I transformed into light, in space manifesting new life
Creative insight, noticing wholeness in this day turned night

Limitless and diggin' this free flight
I feel the ecstasy teaching me all will be alright
Imagined a landscape and relocated with only beauty in sight

I raised mountains and probably thousands of trees
All commands consciously constructing the physical with ease
Waterfalls and animals emitting the only sounds
Accompanied by the breezy orchestra composed of those rooted in the ground

Astounded, awestruck, amazed, and confused
All this ability without a clue on what to do.
I flew back home and descended through the roof
My tether hasn't weathered and here is my proof
Every eloquent energy that rests in that room,
Is a petal on the flower that has yet to bloom

Beautiful regardless, all year 'round
Growing into capabilities we've only just found
Tuning in to open, peeling off the last mask's frown
Realizing the source inside yourself knows no bounds~

I wrote what I could.  
The lump in my throat pressed with such intent that tears were forced to fall.
So I've dropped the ball, and the doors have opened up

Two small trebutaries have emerged with little direction on where to go next
Confined and repressed, they now live a life so complex-
That had their thoughts existed, they wouldn't make it in the real world.

At the chin they met and swirled,
As if they've been meant to be together all along
Yet spiky hairs on the neck proved to be much more than they'd expect.

They tumbled as wrecks, independently til they hit the chest.
Anything but gently, they crashed.  
Apart now but memories remain
They've darkened the shirt as if they created stains.

It was the consensus to trade in the cards the dealer dealt..
But they'll flow on, and continue making impressions felt.
We'll absorb our pains to, establish growth
The one thing that I know though
is that I don't.

There's a persistent stream of "This happened for a reason"
But changes in feeling come and go like the changing of seasons.

Symptoms from this mechanism grind time, low on drive
One wonders if the operator remembers how to feel alive
Dissect my mighty molecules or drop me from the sky
Ill be forced to attempt to reconnect otherwise have to learn how to fly

I almost want to cry
Feeling so alone with a trying mind
Wondering why my dad had to die
The lack of never having that almost breaks through my shell to the inside.
But Maybe I need to fall apart
Break the rib cage away to expose an already pained and vulnerable heart
There comes a time when we all must depart
Some shattered den with frayed wire ends beg to see a new start
Smile sank below the surface and slowly fades into the dark
Barely breathing treading water waiting for a shark.

Will these teeth be my friend or help me to meet a salty sea end? 
Now conjuring up questions like, If we indeed are eternal, what is there then to defend?
It's almost crushing knowing there is an inner guidance.
I want what I never had, signed up for life before reading the fine print.
Emotional glimpse, seeing your face behind my closed-eye timelessness.
I bare witness, but can anyone else see you beyond the physical finish?
I'm trying so hard to listen.  
Self-defeating prophecies take away all that has been given.
Cynical shoulder demon got me too scared to make decisions
Downwind tailspins find me coming after the fool in the mirror with a head on collision.  
I guess stress showed up to the test
I have to reassess my vision, and take pride in my mission.
It's my purpose to serve words to the unheard before we bleed with further division.
Just then a tear started to glisten, fishing incessantly for my soul.
A drop full of reflection makes me wanna lay on the floor and relinquish all control.  I tend not to let my emotions of what my ego perceives as weakness take hold.  But if it never rains how the funk will I ever grow?  This changing stranger had high vibes in the sunshine but now I feel so deeply low.  

Buried below the cold snow meat coat is a shine that's been trying to show.  
Will the world ever see it's light? 
Another beautiful, heartbreaking mystery, I speak to mirror man again stating simply, "who knows."
When just then in my head,
"It'll be alright."

Sometimes I wonder if we are really all listening
Or just too distracted with the African diamonds glistening
Sold to you by Zales, yet every kiss begins with Kay.  
Fat and lazy fast food crazy
Chasing highs blinded thinking they really have it their way

The devices in our possession finally allow us to progress as one people.  We can connect with others oceans away and together rid the world of evil.  The destructive misuse of power is felt when we see the segregation.  Responsibility has been shed for more tax cuts, when some live unsure they will make it.  Fabricated stories facilitate war - on drugs, ideas, and our collective growth.  
So I must ask
When these tragedies happen, who actually benefits the most?  Making sure to add "terrorist acts" under a potential insurance claim just days before buildings imploded to dust rather than be eaten by flames, or severed with a plane.  The man who did this was named Larry Silverstein.  Interviews after he seemed cold, devoid of soul, and mean.  Arms dealers, oil companies, and bank executives, carry out these plots that are now repetitive.  Play with the heartstrings of one's own people, that think they can veil everything but I know we're not feeble, and in all these other places we're beginning to feel.
Cheney's Halliburton rebuilds nations after war decimates the ground.  Yes, let's let our pockets pay any amount, grind ourselves 45 hours a week so with our taxes they can play around.  Still staying stiff in the position promising your wishes will come true.  But again the scapegoat ***** your hope of political action bringing something new.  
While blowing ourselves away the frame becomes unglued.  This cancer is man made and he wants to redesign you. Analyzes with the force of a brute. Built tall walls with his flaws that only allows the seven deadly sins in.  Will he in his mind ever decide to see the sun again?  Can he really say that to himself he is a friend?  Meanwhile a governor of Flint, Michigan is okaying lead be let in to the water system, 9,000 now are poisoned.  We're talking families complete with children.  Speaking on topics like this, I do not have fun.  But the divine needs to shine wherever necessary.  If we don't speak now we could head into a reality that's only more scary.  No more families buried until they carry out their long lives.  I will honor Mother Nature and the life she provides.  As the Amazon depletes, the air needs more trees.  Less chemicals drifting into our systems as we eat and breathe.  Fearlessly pure we become free.  With eyes on the skies we leave our feet, articulated honest advancement.  Through conscious choice and proper management.  
No one owns you or where the lands currently sit, but you'll probably hear different from the government.  

We are all one, and life will go on.
Sun shines on our land every day at dawn
Balances created keep our hearts in motion
Close your eyes and see the focal point of your devotion.  Music gave me a way to see inside there lies the potion - to take my emotion and share the reflections to other oceans

Life is school, this is silly.  
I was always excited for recess,
Born to be Wild like homeboy Free *****
Dustin checked in to eventually check out.
He knew there was so much more that our existence was about.
Went into the wild under the guidance of Rafiki

Nemo found himself at Free Thought Academy

Lion King was seen  weeping only tears of joy
At first roar of his cub, darling baby boy
He knew to nourish this being's mind, body, and soul.  So he gained deep wisdom in the art of breath control.  After this recognition, he taught his practice for free.  Nowadays everything is fluid and the kingdom thrives with ease.