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moonlight hit my gloomy face.
competition of tears in a race.
the pain you dealt left a place.
permanent mark, cannot be replaced.

tossing and turning.
mistakes felt like a burdening.
ungrateful regret unnoticed.
beautiful words, left unspoken.

like a thief in the night.
took my heart, without a sight.
beautifully killed an innocent soul.
her world left, deadly dull.

trust inbound within a human.
belief and faith there was no wrong doing.
broke my heart within a second.
everything gone, within a millisecond.

tossing and turning.
cries for all of you, yearning.
temptation is satan.
love was mistaken.

took a risk and rolled the dice.
should’ve known i wasn’t the prize.
another girl within his eyes.
laying in a bed, full of lies.

left alone, broken and cold.
heart is dead, pure hard stone.
how he made me feel, specifically.
is how he did her, physically.

three in the morning.
nothing but mourning.
experiences were truly blue.
the first night i slept without you.
the sun will always rise, even on the darkest nights.
These pages are the only
place where I am allowed
to love you,
Thus I write.
It was what one might call a rainy day, but I had called it a melancholy of nature. Everything had been sorrowfully drenched as if the rain itself was weighing on their minds. A heavy mist had settled just above the cold ground, one that limited your vision to only a few feet. The pavement had no cracks, no indentations for mournful puddles to dejectedly form.
   Indeed, as I walked down the endless paved path, It seemed as though I was the only one here. As though an eternity had stretched itself around me, around this single moment in time. And I could walk, and walk until time ended.
   As rain rolled down the hood of my gray raincoat, thoughts and memories ran slowly through my mind like a slideshow of bittersweet emotion. I fingered the strap over my shoulder. I had, of course, brought my camera.
   My camera, an old Polaroid, had served me well. I had once dreamt of being a photographer, but as my dreams for the future had disappeared, my film was eventually empty. Now, it was nothing more than a memento of the past.
   I began to approach a figure standing alone in the rain, though they seemed dry. They wore a raincoat, much like mine, except a dark shade of purple. They had no camera, and would not face me, but followed when I began to pass. As we walked together down the paved road, they continued to face the ground, seemingly avoiding my gaze.
   I did not know who they were, nor where they came from, other than the mist. They seemed almost familiar, and yet they did not seem tangible. I heard them take a small breath, as though they were gathering their courage. Then, they said,
   “Always. . .” They stopped for a moment and then began to speak again. “Let your heart decide what is the truth. Then, let your brain decide how to explain that to others. And never be ashamed of who you are. For when you are true to yourself, your creator cannot be disappointed; they have made you be that way.”
   I heard the sigh, who I then guessed was a girl about my age, and then watched her stop, fading out of my view as a continued to walk through the mist.
   I cannot say with certainty that I ever saw her again.
I like this, even if it is just eye candy...
I actually wrote this because the girl is supposed to be like someone I know who is a very strong and wonderful person, though I fear they may never know this.
He loved her whole,
He loved her fully.
All her broken pieces,
He mend her soul.
But of a different form.
He changed her;
To what he wants.

-HIY
Me and she
Right here, right now

Laughter flirting;
Younger selves.

What a ton of stuff
We drag behind

All the time

How nice when we can
Enter the right boxcar

At the right time
Lately, I don't understand.
I don't understand how,
How I can't control the water that rolls down my eyes like a waterfall.
It's meant to flow when I'm sad,
It's meant to assist me when I'm sober.
It does the opposite,
It makes me feel no remorse.
It makes me feel powerful.
Sometimes, I question it,
"Why have thee forsaken me when I need thee?"
it still does not reply.
I feel powerless over it.
it has more control.
One day, I stayed in the darkness.
my eyes were closed.
I was trying to blind myself from reality.
I was trying to create a world full of my own fantasies.
But it didn't work out well.
Tears crept in from behind,
they woke me up.
I was so close to escaping but they brought me back.
I tried to hold them in but they came faster than I ever imagined.
They sneaked in through a Trojan horse.
An unforeseen enemy.
They made me feel vulnerable.
I didn't need them but they came.
I'm sure they laughed because of the victory,
I cried because of my pain.
at a period in time, i could not control my tears. and whenever i felt remorse, they was no tears to express it.
Heart ache but not quite a heart break
Happiness exchanged for sorrow
Tears exchanged for my smile

I didn't want this
I grew up too fast
I learned things before I was ready

Now it's all I know
Now I can't break it
And it hurts him
The one I hold dearest

He distrusts my words
Because of my past actions

He distrusts my feelings
Because of my present actions

I feel numb
With an aching heart
And broken spirit

I apologize relentlessly
But it never seems enough
Because I'm addicted to my actions

My past has caused damage
Damage to me
And everything I believe
And everything I do now

It haunts me
It drains me
It kills me

Yet, I can't seem to stop
I can't seem to fix it
And I'm helpless
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