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Now
we're
strangers
with
a
history.
Remember when we walked hand in hand in the rain?
We stopped dead in our tracks,
Looked each other in the eyes and kissed?
Kissed underneath the crying, muggy, sky.

You were my first,
But I was your last.
From your first real experience,
To your last hurt one.

From always looking each other in the eyes without looking away,
To not taking a glance in the hallway.
From said I love you’s,
To silent I hate you’s.

From crying tears of joy for having you,
To crying tears of brokenness for losing you.
From cuddling you,
To cuddling just the jacket left with your scent.

Remember when I told you I’d never leave you when you feared that most?
I held you until you were still like the air surrounding us.
Until your beautiful hazel crystals cleared.
I held you until you were okay again.

You were my first,
But I was your last.
From the first person you went to for help,
To not crossing your mind once, that I even exist to you anymore.

From hugs and kisses after school so you could go home,
To ignoring and building distance so we don’t feel the hurt.
From being held together so close, the air doesn’t breathe between us,

To     so     much     space     it’s
    suffocating.

From being excited to share the time we’ve spent together,
To throwing it aside and never believing it was even there.
From laughing at nothing and crying because it was too much,
To nothing at all and crying because the pain was too much.

……..
Remember when we walked hand in hand in the rain?
We stopped dead in our tracks,
Looked at each other and kissed?
Kissed underneath the crying, muggy, sky.

……..
That was only in a dream,
I had,
Once upon your lullaby.
with you, i am unstoppable.
with us, we are invincible against all odds.
I was in love once
I was in love somehow
but she just destroyed me every time
We crossed throw mountains together,
We broke barriers and barriers,
limits that not everyone can get through,
but
During all of this
She didn´t loved me
She was just there because she had spikes of happiness with me
But she didn´t loved me at all
Not as deep has I loved her,
she love me superficially and loved me because she was afraid
Of losing that one tag called
Boyfriend
so she tried not to lose me...
I was innocent, I loved her so I wasn´t really thinking straight,
cause not thinking straight is really the only true way to love someone,
just something that you feel inside you
and explodes in you
when you see that one true person
you stop
thinking
and just get guided by the feels you have in your heart.
She was not like that
Not now
She had been
But not anymore
Not today, tomorrow or ever again.
This was the day I new what love was
and how it would bring to my life
pure agony and darkness...
It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived
Sitting alone
I contemplate truth
I wonder if you know
I think it’s you

Forgive me
Or don’t
Forget me
You won’t

I have lost all my friends
Now it’s just the three of us
All alone
Inside my head
In two seconds.
You caught my eye.
You placed yourself in my world.
& I saw you.
Through my eyes.
& no one else's.
Your smile shined.
The way the sun & rain reflex the rainbow.
You were worth the seconds.
In two minutes.
I knew your name.
One I will never forget.
It reminded me of the stars.
On a night with the one you love.
In complete darkness.
With only the stars to show you the way.
You were worth the minutes.
In two hours.
You took me there.
Showed me the place in your heart.
Where your dreams and nightmares rest.
Trusted me.
Knowing id never hurt you.
Telling me what made you who you were.
What chapter you were in the big book called life.
You were worth the hours.
In two days.
I knew you.
Everything.
From your first love.
To your first heartbreak.
What made you smile.
To what made you frown.
I felt you.
As my sunshine.
My sweet sunshine.
Warm & graceful.
A new flight.
Like Dancing.
Around & around.
Close.
Not afraid.
Safe.
You were worth the days.
In two weeks.
Our lips met.
Taser pulses went through me.
Fireworks.
Like on the fourth.
Angels clapped & played music that day.
Overwhelming the skies.
Making drops fall.
Bringing nature to life.
You were worth the weeks.
In two months.
I felt those two words.
In love.
In deep.
Deeper than were titanic sank.
Somewhere.
Where no explorer will ever reach.
Will never discover.
So deep.
We created something rare.
Not even the book of records could contain.
I tasted what we were made of.
You were worth the months.
In two years.
You wore all white.
I wore black.
We made a promise to commit.
To stand for another.
Through thick & thin.
Better or worse.
Till death do us part.
Never moving on.
Longing to be held in traffic.
& watch the cars pass forever.
Knowing.
We are ahead anyways.
Where we belong.
Like the text in a book.
Or keys on a keyboard.
Or cold with snow.
& heat with sun.
Complete.
Two as one.
We finished.
With two simple words.
To make it official.
You were worth the years.
I can't sleep
Everytime I remember your words
They snap and recoil
And hurt me awake
Next time when someone
Promises me forever
I'll just smile
Look them in the eyes and ask
How long is forever to you.
If I could turn back time
I would hit Backspace all day,
Id put on Caps Lock
and SHOUT what I say.

I'd use the whole Alphabet
To tell you hello,
Press seven Numbers
Til you picked up the phone.

I'd Tab through the comments
I didn't want to hear,
And use the Arrow Keys
To drag your body near.

I would Delete the harsh words
I didn't mean to speak,
And Insert the "I love yous"
I before couldn't leak.

I would use Ctrl to
Keep reigns over my heart,
And I would Escape lies
That tore us apart.

I'd Print out your photo
And kiss it goodnight,
Use the Calculator
To check that we were right.

I'd Paint you a picture
of us, you and me,
Then I'd hit Enter
Just so you would see.

Those are the things
I would do in my strife,
If only Backspace
worked in real life.
This is the first poem (that I have a copy of) i wrote that I actually thought was good. I was in seventh grade, twelve years old, and I wrote it for a newspaper competition. I knew it was really great but I didn't think I would beat all other applicants in the state in my age group. So you can imagine my surprise I'm sure when I DID win! That is the first time I was proud of my writing. So this one has a lot of special sentimental value. Thanks for reading.
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