Dull eyes
Dark under-eye rings
Dazed look.

She was tired,
But sleep,
Not even a weekend's worth of it,
Could cure her tiredness.

For she felt hopeless,
Driven to desperation.

you know I can't do it:
can't ever let you go;
i can't stand the thought of losing you,
losing you for real;
can't ever be enough for you,
no matter how hard i try;
can't ever be just the shape you like,
even if i starve for days;
can't ever hate you,
no hurt, nor abandonment, nor insult could do it.
i can't, i won't;
i couldn't, i wouldn't.
because we both know i need you more than air, my dearest. ~cp

I've been spending a lot of time awake lately
and while I've been spending this time
watching the clock...
It really makes me realize
that he is not in any kind of hurry.

It's all a little bit blurry.
Something about a girl and
an idea.
An idea wrapped in symbolism,
Cloaked in metaphors,
all chains and locked doors.

I've been spending hours draped over furniture
like a coat being thrown away after a long day.
I can empathize with the way
a dog barks up a storm when his master comes home
Because I missed you.
Maybe not in the way that allows me to feel happy when you're back
but you're as much a part of me
as diabetes is to heart attacks.

I wish you would go and just stay gone.
Get hung up somewhere and just never return.
But it took me only this long to learn
that youre never going away.
I issue restraining orders every single day
but you'll still be tapping in my window by morning.

And I'll open the window
And take you in my arms and kiss you.
I'll say "Welcome back, Depression.
I sure did miss you."

you claim to know me. that you
can see through my fake smiles and
hear the stutter in my words when i
try to cover up what's wrong,
(i never was a good liar) but if that
was true, why can't you see that i
am as broken as the shattered
glass in my bathroom floor?