I want to be there for others who need me.
But I am barely there for me and when myself shouts for my embrace, I kiss it with violence.

Oh how I want to be loved,
And accept love
But how my pendulum swings
From crowning myself worthy
To fearing I'll never be good enough

Assault so hungry for your bones
Your shadow resides on my wall
Void in my chest
I hope you can find rest

Tell me great painter?
Do I end up Happy?

Or was my fate decided the day you chose to paint me black and grey?

No pastels of vivid lush meadows
Or bright sunsets

No; just soft hues of inky misconfiguration
Blurred lines on page

My eyes roll back
As the world fades.
I
exhale desolation,
And let my phone die just like the feelings inside me.

If the man in the mirror wasn't always first, then maybe loving you wouldn't have to hurt.

My life rarely fits
The picture I draw up
In my head