I yearn for sleep.
If my eyes are closed I cannot cry.
My mind can not continously ask why.
I yearn for sleep.
The kind that envelopes you,
The kind that is deep.
At least within my slumber, my heart may find some peace.
I fear my dreams, good or bad, because I still wake up with out you.
I still wake up sad.
There is no real rest inside my head, even when I'm safe inside my bed.
Yet I still yearn for sleep,
the kind that envelopes you,
The kind that is deep.

I spent such little time with you in the grand scheme of things. Yet I feel like you've been in my heart forever.
The first time I saw your picture asking for help, I knew we were meant to be a part of each others lives.
Your big brown eyes spoke to me, they said take me home, I will love like no other.
And those big bright eyes were right, you did love like no other.
It took you three days to know you were safe, after that first bath I gave you, I prised you out from behind the ubend of my toilet. You must have felt safe there.
I bathed you carefully and gently talking to you the whole time.
Letting you know it was OK now, you will never feel like you did on the streets of romainia. I will never let you feel that scared or alone again.
On the end of someones misplaced anger.
I wrapped you in a soft warm towel and brought you to my room.
I had already layed out towels on my bed. My little ningnong dog was already fresh from the bath and wriggling around getting dry, all fresh and frisky.
You watched her do this for a moment, until something inside you clicked. I'm sure I felt the air get a little lighter.
I'm sure then you knew you were safe and loved.
I put you on the bed with ning.
I had not seen you happy yet, but my goodness I saw it then.
As soon as I placed your tiny paws upon that bed you ran straight to and almost into ning, and then did laps of the bed, laps of elation, laps of relief, laps of pure joy. It was so funny! Your legs were almost jelly with how excited you were. You hadn't ever been that clean.
From that moment you never looked back to the hell you had known.
You lived every single day with happiness and joy in your heart.
Mornings were your favourite. I've never know a dog so happy to just be awake. Your warm little body laying next to mine, nibbling my nose as I spoke softly to you, welcoming the day in.
You did not change. You were always the happiest most loving little soul I have ever known. And I am so thankful I got to see the world through your eyes. I know it will never be the same again, the days seem duller with out you my dolly.
I miss you so much my whole body aches just knowing your not here on this earth with me.
I need your head against my chest just one last time, letting me know you are there with me.
Thankyou for waiting for me, for sharing your last little breath with me.
I will never forget that.
I will never forget you.
My brave little lady, until we meet again I will keep you in my memories and in my heart.
I promise once I am healed enough I will try to treat each day as you did and be thankful for what I have.
I know I will never love another like I loved you.
I miss you so much my little floppy dolly dog.
Sleep tight, say hello to the others for me, tell them I love them and tell them of our adventures.
I will hold you again one day and it will feel like we were never apart, I promise.

You were tiny, when we brought you home.
Just a ball of fluff that we claimed as our own.
You were full of life and happiness
You were no stranger to making a mess!!!
Oh boy we're you naughty, always in trouble!
But that didn't matter, you were part of our bubble.
We watched you grow bigger every day,
Never any doubt, that you were here to stay.
8 years later, it's not really that long!?
It's like you've always been here,
Like the familliar tune of a favourite song.
Two weeks go by, you are not yourself.
Something is wrong, we are trying to help!
It could be this, it could be that, we will figure it out, we will get you back!
You're not eating, you wont get up,
that's not normal, wheres our big pup?
Have a scan, find the problem
Whatever it is we'll find a solution.
One phone call later, from the vet.
Changes everything, we've lost the bet.
It all happened so quickly
This wasn't the plan!!!
Your the ronster monster
Our mundy man.
No "happy bark" greetings as we walk through the door, no tripping over you, as you sleep soundly on the floor.
Feeding time is easier now, almost stress free!
But I'd give up that in a millisecond to have you back here with me!!!!!
I guess it's just down to time now, to make this easier on our hearts.
I just wish we had you here for longer, or could go back to the start!
One thing for sure, you will never be forgotten, we won't let your memory fade away, our naughty ronnii rotten!!!!!

RIP Ronnii, Safeharbour Patrick Swayze. 16/01/2011 to 16/10/2019.

Be safe at rainbow Bridge, until we meet again my giant furry slobber friend.
F. U. Cancer!!!!!!!!

I feel listless again.
I am left without slumber,
My mind beginning to bend.
Burnt like umber.
Am i trapped in this cycle?
Will it ever end?
I wonder, if I am destined,
To always walk this now beaten path?
As I'm sure it's becoming more treacherous,
As each grey day comes to pass.

I feel listless again.
I am left without slumber,
My mind beginning to bend.
Am i trapped in this cycle?
Will it ever end?
I wonder, if I am destined,
To always walk this now beaten path?
As I'm sure it's becoming more treacherous,
As each grey day comes to pass.

I earn my money, I pay my keep,
All the time feeling like sheep,
We follow the herd, we bleet along,
Tho whole time 'bleeting' to the same old song.
This doesn't feel natural, it must be wrong,
There has to be more,
than this plodding along?!

You speak so ill of me.
Yet you live in my head!
Why do you hate on me,
Why do you fill me with dread?!
You always argue with me,
Never let me be right,
I don't understand,
your desperate need to fight?!
Please just let me be happy!!
And for once feel okay,
You don't need to darken me,
Every single day!
Just leave me alone now,
To be my happy self,
Stop placing me,
Apon this dusty old shelf!
Just when I think,
I'm alone with myself,
You creep back in,
Offering your 'help'!
I'm done with you now!
Be gone from my mind,
For once in my life,
To myself ill be kind.
I'll kick you out,
When you show your ugly face,
You've no need to be here,
You don't have a place!!
Everytime you show up,
I'll recite this verse,
And I know now,
I'm strong enough,
Not to let you make it worse!!