with depression comes manipulation. you end up lying. you lie about how you feel or you let out bits but not whole truths. they believe you.
with self harm comes manipulation. you know you have eight blades but you give up five. you have twelve hiding spaces but you give up eight. they believe you.
with progress becomes manipulation. you use the coping skills and say are helping. you cut in different places. you lie about feeling better and let your emotions out somewhere else

Socializing is like driving
Some go a lifetime without learning how to do it

I'm lying down,
Facing the ceiling.
Pulse slow,
Heart in hand.
I search for answers that I can't seem to find,
Even in the deepest, darkest corners of my mind.
Memories I have no right to keep,
Torture me as I wait for sleep -
To come,
To carry me from my wild thoughts.
I ask myself so many WHYs and WHAT IFs,
I tell myself I deserve everything -
The pain,
The sorrow,
The longing.
So I accept it willingly,
The punishment my mind gives my body -
To lie here,
Facing the ceiling,
Tossing and turning.

I stay awake all night as I watch the world sleep.
Morning comes and the dark circles deepen.
As a reminder that I took away my own peace.

What do you do when you've lost your mind?
Helping hurts
Hurting isn't helping.
Can you help me not to hurt?
I've tried my hardest to find my mind but it seems to be lost within my heart
Pulling my mind free would break my heart into a million pieces

I cry too many tears
I bleed more than I should
I break more than I make
I don't know what to do
I'm lost without purpose
I'm behind in everything
I'm lacking motivation

What do I do to help you find your purpose?
Helping seems to hurt
I wish hurting didn't help
Can I help you not to hurt?
I'm trying my hardest to free your mind from its own trap
Putting your heart back together in its place

I cry too many tears
I bleed more than I should
I break more than I make
I don't know what to do
I'm lost without purpose
I'm behind in everything
I'm lacking motivation

Please
Save me
Please
Save you
Please
Save our minds

Please
Save me
Please
Save you
Please save our lives

I cry too many tears
I bleed more than I should
I break more than I make
I don't know what to do
I'm lost without purpose
I'm behind in everything
I'm lacking motivation

He comes for me when I'm sleeping,
He comes for me when I'm awake,
He won't stop freaking obsessing,
My heart cannot get a break,
Why won't he leave me be,
Can't he see my panicking,
He's everywhere I can see,
He won't ever let me free,
I feel my throat closing in,
He'll just revive me over again,
I can't leave him alone anyway,
He can't leave me be for my sake,
Harder to **** every single day,
Distraction is key but I won't get my way.






My mind's a murderer,
A real ******,
Imagine being locked up,
Somewhere inside limbo,
Not being allowed to freeze,
**** near hard to breathe,
For my sake, I need some peace,
My mind doesn't know how to cease.