you were playing with my heart like the devil himself
the way I was playing with my blades like the devil herself

you were sipping the blood from my veins, taking away my soul
the way I was sipping alcohol from the bottom of my glass..

empty bottels tell stories about young girls with broken hearts
the newspaper told me you were dead, you overdosed, killed yourself
it was hard to realise what she did, dying, and what was the reason..

was she so sad she just needed to do it, cutting her veins, letting it go
were the voices in her head screaming so loud, she snapped, she died
or was this her only solution to find peace within herself again...

it weren't the voices killing her, it were't the voices inside her head
the thing that was killing her was everything that wasn't even close

she missed the touch of you, your beautiful smile and wonderful eyes
the feeling of being missed when she wasn't around, the feeling of life

the demons never loved humans with goldenhearts
and that's why they always fell for me.

It took a long time for me to sell my heart to an angel
because I adored playing these games with my demons

she always laughed like everything in her life was broken
and I know it looked that way because everything was, broken

I never told her that I loved her, that she made my sky turn blue
well I did but only with words, without feeling any sort of emotions
it was a never a mistake I made, loving this girl, pouring my heart out

she always made me wonder how life would be without her
if I, human being, could live without her, another human being

loving you was like loving seasons, somtimes more than another
and it never was my intention to leave you all alone back there..
and it never will be my intention to hurt your feelings ever again

but you were you and I always was and always will be me
lovers, friends, strangers, neighbours, legends... I dont know

a love that never was made to rule in this bitter sweet lonely world
because I loved drinking away my feelings more than being just friends.

It was you,
it was me,
it was the silence
underneath the stars
that understood
my heartbeat
and it's racing.
You told me nothing.
I believed everything.
In that moment
I found life.
In that moment
I found you.

when I woke up this morning something felt different
the sun was shining again and my scars were fading from my skin

in the music he wrote for me he made a lot of promisses, he would keep
being there for me when the stars weren't around, the light was out again
save me from myself, making me stop running and start laughing, smiling

I shouldn't write poems about you and the way you make me feel, always
those feelings aren't real and you are not even in my life, not anymore

I always loved you like the little kids loved their mothers, faithfull

but the point of leaving was never coming back not playing games
and I knew you always loved me I could see it in your pretty eyes

my feelings were real from the beginning and you decided to end it

do you remember the color of the dress I was wearing when we met
do you remember the feeling of my heart when it first met yours

these love wasn't made for someone like me, I am not strong enough
what a feeling to be right here without you now..

I write poems my dear not emotions.

people die because people die people die because people die
I wanted to die because I needed to die, I wanted to die
god was calling or was it the devil I could never remember

out of all the humans I have met in my life I thought you would..
I honestly thought that you would understand me and my feelings
but maybe I was wrong.. maybe another person than you cant ever do

you have never seen me mad or sad, you have never seen me cry
you never saw me standing on the edge of killing myself, wanting...
and that's okay because with you I wasn't that kind of girl

it was a part of my dark past, drinking and hurting myself, the pain
it were the things I lived for, kissing boys and dancing with my girls

we lived for sadness and we were never sober.. well almost never
the days were counting and my veins were running out of empty spots

music was my savior once and so was this amazing girl..
I lived for her and she lived for me...

and that's the way it always was
and the way it always should be..

the begin of a new year is coming sooner than we expected

everything will be different this time, a new and fresh begin
more demons to fight with and rare love to discover..

many rules to break and bend and new changes to take
old friendships will become new ones and some of them will just fade
more people will die this year and the end of the world is coming sooner
tears will fall and so will heaven, the angels and maybe even god..

it will be a year of grace, a princess will be born out of the ashes
she will rule the world with an honest heart and a bottle of cheap *****

this girl will be begging her loved one to stay with her this year
the moon would be crying without the love in the dark stars and nights

everything is new and everything is old everything is everything

I sleep with a bible in my bed
So I can talk with god about everything I regret

She made me realise there was never too much of me
Maybe there was just too little of you and we couldn’t compare

I sleep with a bible in my bed
Just to keep your demons out

Because you filled my mind with dark thoughts
that sometimes made me think, wanting to die was okay

I like to miss you on Sunday nights
Because on Sunday nights everything feels less like a problem

On Sunday night I can picture us together walking on the beach
Being way too drunk, talking about everything important in life
You would make me laugh and I would kiss you on your cheeks

All these voices and then there was you
A beautiful silence in my world of chaos

Your crazy mind would make mine feel just like home
Maybe you always were like that but I just never noticed

I don’t think I can ever regret you,
You make me smile like no other,

I like to miss you everyday

the road back
to everything I have ever left behind

something that would keep me save from myself.
a person that would love me for all I ever was.
the girl with the bright smile was allready dead before you met her.

a bottle of ***** was what tasted like love.
feeling nothing was what made her feel alive.

thoughts are dark just like the crings underneath my eyes.
an another beautiful young soul is turning into dust tonight.

Once in a while I let everything in
The pain from today, the hurt from yesterday
The pain from five years ago, the hurt from tomorrow

Life is hard when everything around you seems to be falling apart.

I want my daddy to stop dying
and I need my brother to start trying

I want my mother to be less depressed
and I need my brother to get dressed

I want to learn how to deal with my emotions
and I need you to stop me from getting the help I need

because while you were laughing, I was crying
and while you were making fun of me, I was dying

harming myself is the only way to escape this terrible reality.

Today I cut my ankle
just because I could.

It was a scream for you to love me;
something that you never would

too many secrets hidden in my head
too many secrets that stay in my bed

I love you, I hate you
oh I wish I was dead

your words are like knives
but the pain keeps me alive

my worst addiction, my lovely scars
everything breathing tears me apart.

the emotions were gone and so was the will to write magic.

Yesterday I fell in love with everything you are
The way you kiss me and your cute little face

I always wondered how it would be to be with you
But I never dreamed it could be anything like this

I love the way you look at me, like I'm the only thing that matters
I love the way how shameless your love is for me

You make me feel young and reckless and alive
You make me feel like I can never be too much

The world is a happier place because of you
My heart is happier because of you

And I don't think I can ever get enough of you
In every way possible you make me feel so at home

I can tell you everything, my fears, my secrets, my life
I've never had something this naked and honest

Yesterday you told me about these little butterflies
And maybe I fell in love with you too or maybe I already was

I keep wondering what gave me these feelings

Is it the fact that you’re so forbidden?
That all these emotions need to stay hidden

I want access to all the secrets in your heart
I crave to know your past and everything what tears you apart

I think with my heart and not with my head,
I’m falling apart I’m missing your breath

First, I thought it was the numbness from drinking too much
But after came a terribly urge to be close to you, to touch

And maybe I’m sick and tired of how you make everything feel right
And maybe I just couldn’t help myself when you looked at me,
that way, that night

Cause even in a crowded room all I can do is stare at you
And it makes me feel stupid, you don’t have a clue

It was summer when you walked into the garden that day
And every part of my body wished you weren’t gay