i dont know how to feel
i dont know what to do
i dont know your face even
though i thought i knew you.

i am choking on smoke
we are equally broke
and now i am divided in two.

When madly in love
One doesn't ask questions

Especially not why or how

And that is the most hopeful thing I've ever known

I've lost.
In the dilemma of thy love, my lover,
I've lost myself.
To those endless confusions, I swear,
I lost my mind somewhere.
In the way those lips curl up to another lie,
I've lost my sense of realizations.
I've lost my sight to those hazy illusions
You put up to fake another try
And when they laugh at me
Shun me, with the truth
As I look at you
As if you're a painting
I sigh.
I've lost to your voice
Speaking to me
Whispering of thy love
My lover, I've lost this battle
With myself.
With this world.
And for one last time, as I look at you
As a puzzled mess of imperfect flaws,
With a sigh,
I feel.
I win back my senses.
I realize.
You're actually a painting.
Not to be weaved into poetry by me.
You're someone else's
You're beauty.
To someone else.
Because, i, with nothing more left to lose,
Have lost myself and everything else
In the dilemma of thy love, my lover.
And now I don't know
If I love you more, or my love for you.

A jolt
A thought
A shudder
You feel all alone
Only one in the world
No one is there
No person is there around you
For you
When you are being surrounded
With smiles
But there is no one
Is the loneliest feeling in the world.

Some people will never experience Berlin
Except through stories,
Have their thirst for the thrill quenched
Than by reading.
Close, but never close enough ;
I never saw that sunset,
Just the reflection of it,
And it was just as perfect.

Not all love stories have the happy ending
But that does not make them any less real
Than the real thing.

I am in love with a guy
Who is the only one
Who can be touching my skin
And simultaneously be touching the depths of my heart

I am in love with a guy
Who can be speaking words
But can just smile
And that tells me a lot more

I am in love with a guy
Who I love more than anyone else can
Who I would literally do anything for
Who I can show who I really am

Pages and pages
Of words for you
Words you'll never see
Or hear
Feelings you'll never know
The pain that deepens daily
While healing only faintly
When you write for an absent audience
You perform for yourself
My words may be for you
But I'm just working through my truth
Pages and pages
That one day will end
When the papers pile high
And the tears no longer fall
The ink will finally dry
And with it, my feelings for you