Sit and don't make a sound;
your world's not stage-
Paint with black and white
but don't mix;
every new shade or colour
bring hope one day you'll be fixed.
But they lie.
You will never be whole,
and pain will never subside.
Let it go, make your peace;
embrace the highest of tides
let it eat you, consume you
let it bruise and assume you
let it puncture, and pierce
may its power be fierce.
feel sadness drown you
in desire to die;
let it define you;
and turn your voice to faint cry.
Sit and listen,
patiently wait for your turn;
one day the tide will back down,
and come for you
will the ground.
and I cry,
and I sob,
and I curl up inside;
and I hide,
but you find,
am I losing my mind?
I am fine,
I am well
but I feel
like im dead;
I am here,
and I can't disconnect;
I am hurt
I'm in pain
and it won't go away;
tears won't dry,
they just run,
faster with every day.
dim the light;
no, I don't want to see,
let me die,
in your sleep.
when in my head i go insane;
when thoughts are tangled, lost in blame;
when paranoia's boiling blood;
when I consider all ways out;
when I can trust what isn't real;
when smallest thing is a big deal;
when i feel like the world is crushing;
collapsing right under my feet;
when desperation's gripping tightly
me by the throat and i lose sleep;
when overthinking cant be stopped;
and of all sanity and clarity im robbed;
when pain inside's too much to bear
and my hopes turn into despear
he understands, he doesn't mind
he walks right by me, not behind;
he knows that in my teary eyes
hide years of love and sacrifice;
he tells me what i need to hear
to win this war against my fear;
he understands, he doesn't mind;
when sun's too bright but i need light
when world's unfair - he's still so kind;
he says he loves me when i seem
be drowning in my own dark beam;
he talks about me, how he's keen;
he lives inside my dream.
For 25 years now
There hasn’t been a day;
When I’d stop searching for the same light
That once led my astray.
Sometimes the light would burn me
As I reach towards the source
And other times
It’d blind me
Without slightest remorse.
We’re all looking for something
Are we ever complete
If someone’s keeping score could you
Add just one more defeat
I see hope in what scares you
What you’d never think of
Falling asleep on train tracks
Or turning up gas stove.
Those who know love are happy
It’s such a wasteful claim
I know, I’ve been to heaven
It makes hell seem so tame.
For 25 more years I
Will search for hand to hold.
Falling asleep on train tracks
Ignoring all I’m told.
he needs me more than i will ever know;
what i am thinking of he asks a hundred times in row;
he doesn't let me go;
his grip is tight.
and most of all he's scared of letting go at night...
when darkness falls he draws me to his chest
and that for me has now become
the only place, my shelter, where i rest;
he cares, and never says there is no time to
pick up the phone, or think about me just a second;
he never says i am the last thing on his mind
and by his voice into my little hell im beckoned.
the pills i take save me from losing what i've got;
they are antibiotics, alas, poison, although antidote.
and in the morning when we wake
side by side of the other, a mistake?
i fear he disappears and never says a word.
but he needs me more than i'll ever know.
he draws me closer,
asks me if im happy ten times in a row;
but when we part
he speaks to me no more...
he doesnt mind the pills beside my bed;
and i never wished i'd loved someone else instead;
we both are parts of one whole, left and right
to my deaf ears- he's hearing;
to his blindness i am sight.
he doesnt mind me screaming when the clock stops;
he wipes the tears off of my face with his;
i'd never thought i'd know what it is like to not be hopeless
i never thought i'd call what i feel bliss.
he takes my hand and guides me to a place
where i have never been before;
and at his pace
i notice every detail, every layer to the core
the air i breathe in is enough- i need no more.
he doesnt mind the pills beside my bed
he looks so closely at the noose around my neck;
he listens closely when the wine invades my head
he is the warmth when i am cold and i cant feel
he loves me.
he adores me.
he's not real...
you have the most beautiful smile;
the softest voice
of all i know;
your tears- are liquid gold;
your dreams inspire;
and i wish it was my hand you would hold.