She asked me once why no one loved her
She told me to describe what I found beautiful about her

How could I put into words the extent to which I loved her
So instead I kept my mouth shut

The expression on her face was one of disappointment, deflated even

If I could go back now and start over I would tell her that she is the ocean, uncontrolled and unpredictable

I would say that when she bit her bottom lip jackrabbits would start a frenzied dance inside my stomach

I would tell her that I loved the crows-feet by her eyes that crinkled with joy when I told corny jokes

But I can't go back so I sit in this dark room that I call my mind
thinking of all the times where I could've said I love you and I didn't

That state
Wher
         e
            y
              ou
                    jus
                         t
                           Stop

If someone
Does not want me,
It's not the end of the world.
But
If I do not want me,
The world is nothing but ending.

I wish I were as gorgeous as her,
I'm her opposite

Rib cage like a python
Too pale

Frozen hands
Continuous tremors

I know I shouldn't eat
I'll feel guilty later

"You look great!", they say
I don't feel great

I feel empty
A hole inside my chest

The hunger pains progressing
I'm ok

Just a few more

I drip viscous honey from my lips
Soothing those who are broken

But when does the honey run out?
I feel as if manuka isn't always enough

When the hole inside of someone is all-consuming
When it cannot be filled

When a person fills the void with acrid bitter substances
Chasing the euphoria

We walk through life with honey dripping from our lips